Misc Drug problems, depression

[opinaivekush]

Hey, what's up guys? Has anyone successfully used opiates after being off them for a few months? I wanna use percocet or vicodin just once a day when im sick as it helps tremendously with colds and such. Would I suffer from any withdrawl? I also use cannabis daily for about 4 years and have been taking 1mg ativan for a month before I sleep. I feel like i'm a little depressed, just wanting to get high. I wanna get my life together, become a successful doctor as per my dreams.


I know that if I focus I can achieve anything that come to mind, but after a period of focusing for a while I just say fuck this, start smoking ounces of cannabis every 1-2 weeks, and my grades just fall from 90's to 70's. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I am in my last year of highschool and have basically given up with around an 80-85avg, and with college coming, I would like to start over again.


During my period of high school, I was always seeking attention. Dealing large amounts of cannabis, being a class clown, popping pills in class, and drinking liquor in class from bottles, were some of the stupid things i've amounted to doing. I got out of school suspension in my school twice for drinking and another stupid stunt I pulled.


My parents are extremely loving and caring, while I am appreciative for that, they compensate by being the most overprotective people in the world. I'm not even allowed to hang out with my friends after 11, never allowed to drink as I am muslim and it is against my religion.


Should I see a psychiatrist or something, I feel as if there is so much wrong with me. I think most of it has to do with being self conscious from being overweight when I was younger and faced off a lot off ridicule from my classmates, eventually making fun of myself to gain others approval. I lost all the weight but still feel like the fat kid I use to be, embarrassed of myself. I still haven't even kissed a girl for christsake. The one time I did, the girl I was talking to for a few weeks blacked out, and she pushed me off of her eventually, saying how much she loved this other kid to her friends. I got so angry and fed up, downing a whole handle of smirnoff in about an hour, just leaning against the wall during a party, gulping the bottle down smh.


Can anybody help me regain a life. What should I do!? Would quitting cannabis help, it sort of fogs my mind. I wanna take girls out on dates, educate myself, and pursue a career, but it is as if there are some shackles on my ankles preventing me from leaving my current state of mind. Should I try antidepressants from my doc or something? Someone please help me im honestly on the verge of tears and just feel like there is no life worth living, just wanting to go get as many pills I can and drink myself to death as my uncle had done in the past.

 

[aihfl]

It sounds like you'd definitely benefit from seeing a psychiatrist and being medicated to help you quit your addiction, but I think psychotherapy is far more crucial in working through your issues in your case.

 

[opinaivekush]

It sounds like you'd definitely benefit from seeing a psychiatrist and being medicated to help you quit your addiction, but I think psychotherapy is far more crucial in working through your issues in your case.

Thank you for your response. Do you think im too young for anti-depressants being that I am only 18? I heard they can mess up your brain permanently from prolonged use.

 

[zirbeldude2]

When i was your age i was also depressed and got high on anything i got hold of.
This lead to other mental problems.
But i kept doing drugs.
With this attitude i tossed over a decade in the bin.
Now i'm in my thirties, started to get my shit together about 3 years ago and will beginn job education this year.

Psychotherapie and quitting drugs is now essential for you.

 

[alexvolume2]

You're still young. I felt like that when I was your age as well. You haven't lived long enough to find out that things will work themselves out. Life is short, but also really fucking long. It takes time to develop your sense of self and it will happen for you, I'm pretty sure of that. I would quit smoking weed for a while or at least cut back. None of us on this site ever planned to be drug addicts, maybe some, and not all of us are but chemical addiction is a sure fire way to never realize your true potential.

Self consciousness is a motherfucker and I dare say that most of us self medicate some sort of unaddressed psychological disorder. I am at the apex of my social development at age 30, but I'm still a reserved and quiet person. You have a lot to offer and shouldn't sell yourself short. I didn't kiss a girl until I was 19 or 20 years old. I thought it would never happen for me but it did and I was in a long term relationship afterwards as well. However, relationships are not all they're cracked up to be and being single for a bit while you get to know yourself is very important.

Things take time and the sun will rise again tomorrow. It may feel like your world is ending but I assure you that it won't. You may not feel better today, or even tomorrow. But if you take time to work on yourself and pursue your dreams then good things will happen. I seriously recommend not taking so many drugs though. If you feel self-conscious and shy then cannabis probably isn't doing you too many favors. Try not smoking until nighttime or not before social interactions. You may feel like it takes the edge off but I found that it made me a lot more introverted and that was not something that I needed at the time. If you love yourself you will be loved. The best people in life often had problems in high school and intelligence often goes hand in hand with depression, it goes with being self aware. Trust me, you don't want to be one of the people who 'peak' in high school. I don't know if I can whole hardheartedly recommend antidepressants, but talking to a therapist or psychologist can be helpful. Just make sure you educate yourself on any medications they give you. I think unless you have severe depression problems that you might be better off exercising and being social. Exercise helped my depression more than medication ever did.

Love yourself, you're worth it. Also, opiate addiction destroys lives. Maybe try kratom instead of hydrocodone, but I can't recommend getting started on taking them frequently at such a young age.

 

[aihfl]

Thank you for your response. Do you think im too young for anti-depressants being that I am only 18? I heard they can mess up your brain permanently from prolonged use.

That is a decision to be made by a psychiatrist, so I will not give a yes or no answer. I will say, however, I have known people younger than you who have been on antidepressants. But medications are only meant to help, not be a cure. I really think you need psychotherapy more than being medicated.

 

[Slow_Mobius]

I was in a similar situation in highschool. I would start out trying, get bored, and make a lot of poor choices. I graduated high school with below a 3.0 GPA, and my high school was extremely easy. Now I'm the too student in my program at a prestigious engineering school (high ACT/SAT will go a long ways). I think you could really benefit from a change of scenery more than anything else, and IME, just getting far away from home was enough to break the old routines and habits that consistently landed me in trouble with my grades.

That said, I think seeing a therapist or something makes a lot of sense. I can't possibly see it hurting, and if a psychiatrist thinks the benefits of trying antidepressants outweigh the potential risks, it would be wise to heed their advice.

Just don't give up though. I often pondered the possibility of giving up on school, responsibilities, etc. Taking advantage of a fresh start in college will help immensely, and try funneling some of your energy into extra curriculars. I never participated in those kinds of activities in highschool, but I dove in headfirst in college and it really helped keep me away from the boredom induced poor choices. It sounds like you need refrain the habits with which you deal with stress, but that will be easier than you might imagine when you get away from home. If you really believe that youre smart and motivated enough to do anything you set your mind to, I'm confident that you will pull yourself out of the funk.

As for the cannabis, it's always clouded my mind, killed my motivation, and worsened my depression. I know a lot of people say it's non habit forming with no real side effects, but I certainly felt dumber when I was smoking regularly and it sounds like you're having similar effects if you feel like it clouds your mind. Getting rid of that psychological dependence can be really empowering, and it might be a good starting point for turning things around.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or anything.

 

[aihfl]

I still haven't even kissed a girl for christsake.

You're only 18. If you were 25, I'd say you have something to hide. If it makes you feel any better, I didn't have my first extended makeout session with a girl until I was 19 (and then with a 22 YO, if I can brag a bit), and I didn't lost my virginity until 21. There's no shame in being a late bloomer. I know you're a ball of hormones and everyone around you is getting it on, but have patience. Things will happen when they're supposed to.

 

[opinaivekush]

You're still young. I felt like that when I was your age as well. You haven't lived long enough to find out that things will work themselves out. Life is short, but also really fucking long. It takes time to develop your sense of self and it will happen for you, I'm pretty sure of that. I would quit smoking weed for a while or at least cut back. None of us on this site ever planned to be drug addicts, maybe some, and not all of us are but chemical addiction is a sure fire way to never realize your true potential.

Self consciousness is a motherfucker and I dare say that most of us self medicate some sort of unaddressed psychological disorder. I am at the apex of my social development at age 30, but I'm still a reserved and quiet person. You have a lot to offer and shouldn't sell yourself short. I didn't kiss a girl until I was 19 or 20 years old. I thought it would never happen for me but it did and I was in a long term relationship afterwards as well. However, relationships are not all they're cracked up to be and being single for a bit while you get to know yourself is very important.

Things take time and the sun will rise again tomorrow. It may feel like your world is ending but I assure you that it won't. You may not feel better today, or even tomorrow. But if you take time to work on yourself and pursue your dreams then good things will happen. I seriously recommend not taking so many drugs though. If you feel self-conscious and shy then cannabis probably isn't doing you too many favors. Try not smoking until nighttime or not before social interactions. You may feel like it takes the edge off but I found that it made me a lot more introverted and that was not something that I needed at the time. If you love yourself you will be loved. The best people in life often had problems in high school and intelligence often goes hand in hand with depression, it goes with being self aware. Trust me, you don't want to be one of the people who 'peak' in high school. I don't know if I can whole hardheartedly recommend antidepressants, but talking to a therapist or psychologist can be helpful. Just make sure you educate yourself on any medications they give you. I think unless you have severe depression problems that you might be better off exercising and being social. Exercise helped my depression more than medication ever did.

Love yourself, you're worth it. Also, opiate addiction destroys lives. Maybe try kratom instead of hydrocodone, but I can't recommend getting started on taking them frequently at such a young age.

Thank you for your kindful words. I will try going to see a therapist again. Last time went to a psycho therapist was 2 years ago, while I was heavily drinking. She helped me quit the alcohol and limit the weed a lot and I didn't realize it then, but that was probably the best I had felt in my life. She sadly moved out to nj and the therapist she recommended was an extremely old lady, who wasn't understanding me at all, so I left and went back to my old habit's. Also for the past year I was having some major pain in my feet which wasn't going away, stemming from me being extremely flatfoot. I was prescribed percocet and vicodin whenever the pain flared up. I just had surgery a month ago on my feet and again less than a week ago. I quit the opiods fully 2 days ago and have been going through some annoying withdrawl, hopefully I won't need them again in the future but my surgical foot is so painful right now, I just wanna end it. I can't put any weight on the leg for a couple more weeks, so I have been confined on my bed for 5 weeks, 3-5 more to go.

When i was your age i was also depressed and got high on anything i got hold of.
This lead to other mental problems.
But i kept doing drugs.
With this attitude i tossed over a decade in the bin.
Now i'm in my thirties, started to get my shit together about 3 years ago and will beginn job education this year.

Psychotherapie and quitting drugs is now essential for you.

I'm honestly scared of not being able to have something like cannabis or benzos in my life to cope with my problems. I'm always in pain thus requiring oxycodone, i'm too young to be sitting home on a bed, while my friends are out chilling and having fun. Life is fucking confusing as hell.

I was in a similar situation in highschool. I would start out trying, get bored, and make a lot of poor choices. I graduated high school with below a 3.0 GPA, and my high school was extremely easy. Now I'm the too student in my program at a prestigious engineering school (high ACT/SAT will go a long ways). I think you could really benefit from a change of scenery more than anything else, and IME, just getting far away from home was enough to break the old routines and habits that consistently landed me in trouble with my grades.

That said, I think seeing a therapist or something makes a lot of sense. I can't possibly see it hurting, and if a psychiatrist thinks the benefits of trying antidepressants outweigh the potential risks, it would be wise to heed their advice.

Just don't give up though. I often pondered the possibility of giving up on school, responsibilities, etc. Taking advantage of a fresh start in college will help immensely, and try funneling some of your energy into extra curriculars. I never participated in those kinds of activities in highschool, but I dove in headfirst in college and it really helped keep me away from the boredom induced poor choices. It sounds like you need refrain the habits with which you deal with stress, but that will be easier than you might imagine when you get away from home. If you really believe that youre smart and motivated enough to do anything you set your mind to, I'm confident that you will pull yourself out of the funk.

As for the cannabis, it's always clouded my mind, killed my motivation, and worsened my depression. I know a lot of people say it's non habit forming with no real side effects, but I certainly felt dumber when I was smoking regularly and it sounds like you're having similar effects if you feel like it clouds your mind. Getting rid of that psychological dependence can be really empowering, and it might be a good starting point for turning things around.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or anything.

Thank you so much. You're experiences are extremely relatable to myself, and you give me hope that there is a future out there. I'm going threw a little opiod withdrawl and weed is the only thing that seems to be helping. I have no idea how to drop the weed, my friends always are asking me to blaze. It seems like there is no way I could quit unless by isolating myself, which probably would not be good.

[/COLOR]

You're only 18. If you were 25, I'd say you have something to hide. If it makes you feel any better, I didn't have my first extended makeout session with a girl until I was 19 (and then with a 22 YO, if I can brag a bit), and I didn't lost my virginity until 21. There's no shame in being a late bloomer. I know you're a ball of hormones and everyone around you is getting it on, but have patience. Things will happen when they're supposed to.

Everybody tell's me to be patient, but how come the other kids don't gotta be patient? It's kinda bullshit everybody in my grade is fucking but not me. I guess it's my fault though, because I always give up on trying. Fucking anxiety man, it just eats me up like a monster. One of these days man, one of these days.

 

[Slow_Mobius]

I wouldn't worry about dropping weed until you have the harder stuff under control. I know you mentioned the pain being unbearable, but I promise it will get better. The last time I kicked a tramadol dependence (not as severe as your current opiate dependence), I had tunnel vision, a constant ringing in my ears, and I was in so much pain that I was repeatedly banging my hand with a book to distract myself from the back pain. I went to the doctor because I thought I might be dying lol. I promise it will get easier, and if your stomach can tolerate strong NSAID pain relievers, you should definitely take those with some sort of antacid for the pain. And if you want to get off the opioids and you're really struggling, don't hesitate to have a conversation with your doctor. Usually they'll try to help.

If anxiety is a major issue for you, I would highly recommend looking into kava root. It's an herbal supplement, and the Fijian prep is pretty strong. It's amazing for anxiety, and it doesn't have ANY negative side effects on cognition, so you won't have the foggy feeling you get with weed or the slow feeling you get with Benzos. I tried it for pain, and while it didnt help me in that regard, I was shocked at how well it worked as a sleep aid and as an anxiolytic. There's also a lot of research that's been done on the safety of kava since there were concerning case reports, but there aren't any significant side effects unless you get a poorly prepared batch AND it's concomitantly used with something hard on the lives.

 

[Mad Dash]

What is a positive life? After getting out I was foolishly fond of being RXd benzos. My life in general has suffered greatly because of my own stupidity. Benzos are going the way of barbs and you can't have a significant diagnosis with them anyways anymore so best of luck on the grey market. but doctors know that we are mostly addicts and now follow their booklet advice on how to deal with us.

 

[namnoc16]

Using percs or Vicodin to alleviate a cold is just your brain trying to trick you into getting it's candy. Once you've been addicted there is no turning back and you CAN'T go back to using your DOC for anything other then pleasure. The rewards don't outweigh the risks and as other suggested I say get some mental help and nip this in the bud young man as you can still have a productive life.
Just another addicts opinion!!!!

 

[opinaivekush]

I wouldn't worry about dropping weed until you have the harder stuff under control. I know you mentioned the pain being unbearable, but I promise it will get better. The last time I kicked a tramadol dependence (not as severe as your current opiate dependence), I had tunnel vision, a constant ringing in my ears, and I was in so much pain that I was repeatedly banging my hand with a book to distract myself from the back pain. I went to the doctor because I thought I might be dying lol. I promise it will get easier, and if your stomach can tolerate strong NSAID pain relievers, you should definitely take those with some sort of antacid for the pain. And if you want to get off the opioids and you're really struggling, don't hesitate to have a conversation with your doctor. Usually they'll try to help.

If anxiety is a major issue for you, I would highly recommend looking into kava root. It's an herbal supplement, and the Fijian prep is pretty strong. It's amazing for anxiety, and it doesn't have ANY negative side effects on cognition, so you won't have the foggy feeling you get with weed or the slow feeling you get with Benzos. I tried it for pain, and while it didnt help me in that regard, I was shocked at how well it worked as a sleep aid and as an anxiolytic. There's also a lot of research that's been done on the safety of kava since there were concerning case reports, but there aren't any significant side effects unless you get a poorly prepared batch AND it's concomitantly used with something hard on the lives.

Thank you. I'll definitely look into the kava root.
Do you happen to know if prolonged use would have any negative effects on the brain or cause withdrawl? I feel like everything you said seems too good to be true, I mean there must be atleast a few adverse effects following the use of this substance. I think as if though if I have something such as a substance to rely on for coping with the stresses of life, I will never be able to face my problems head on. I guess I have been hiding behind drugs for too long.

What is a positive life? After getting out I was foolishly fond of being RXd benzos. My life in general has suffered greatly because of my own stupidity. Benzos are going the way of barbs and you can't have a significant diagnosis with them anyways anymore so best of luck on the grey market. but doctors know that we are mostly addicts and now follow their booklet advice on how to deal with us.

In my opinion, a positive life is where im happy with my current sitiuation and am able to accept it. Getting a good education and job, making my parent's hard work mean something. Cherish my loved ones. It seems so distant of a time in which I was actually truly happy. Maybe when I was 2-4. The rest of my life until I was about 12 and got into weed, I just remember as being a challange that I couldn't handle, kids looking at me wierd because i'm overweight and ugly, having to CONSTANTLY watch every move someone makes, deciphering every little word a person would speak to me, inorder to find some hidden meaning behind what they are saying and how they are acting, that show they actually care. Even my best friends that i've known for years don't want much to do with me it seems. I guess it's time for change, new people to give me some sense of requited care.

Using percs or Vicodin to alleviate a cold is just your brain trying to trick you into getting it's candy. Once you've been addicted there is no turning back and you CAN'T go back to using your DOC for anything other then pleasure. The rewards don't outweigh the risks and as other suggested I say get some mental help and nip this in the bud young man as you can still have a productive life.
Just another addicts opinion!!!!

Yeah, I realized it was a pretty stupid idea to use that type of medicine for something as miniscule as the common cold. If I get the flu or something like nasty bronchitis mixed with athsma or the leg pain flares up are the only causes I will use opiates for. Never more than once a day, three days maximum, every 2-3 months. Hopefully that would keep on track of not slipping into an opiate induce frenzy.