Hey camjua.. im sorry your struggling.
I've been through every treatment you can imagine, been on tons of psych meds.. Have seen 6 different therapists. 8 different psychiatrists... Etc.
Am a recovering addict with no real future in sight. Etc.
Nice work on getting clean.. the drugs really end up being a symptom of the addiction in the end. If you want share some of what your struggling with. Also if you want share what made you want to take the substances in the first place and what benefits you got from them in thew beginning.
But even so who gives a shit? In 200 years no one will remember me... All those effected will be dead. And to imply life is about enjoying yourself is silly. Because we all die eventually and in the end it doesn't matter. In 300 years... Unless you become famous.. You'll be forgotten completely as though you never existed. You don't know that people would miss me. I hate my family and they hate me. I have pretty much no friends..
Getting down to the unanswerable question here.. the point of life? Your absolutely right.. we arent here to see if we can make some everlasting mark on this blue ball or history. As you pointed out very few leave anything at all and many people are forgotten before they are even gone. So the point of life certainly does not seem to be what we accomplish or what mark we leave or who left the biggest castle.. because as you truthfully pointed out we are only build sand castles on windy beaches and they have no chance to survive.
So if all our worldly endeavors are lost and forgotten, if they are recognized or acknowledged at all, often before we are even gone, then what we create and leave behind must not be the point.
Whats the fucking point then?
The point of life is the experience of it, the lessons it teaches us, and the way it changes and effects us.
The people who have realized that the point of life lies within ourselves also ended up leaving some of the most widely wondered at, studied, imitated, and even worshiped sand castles.. one might even suggest they might not be made out of sand.
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
Buddha
It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
Buddha
For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?
Jesus Christ
If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
Jesus Christ
Our life is what our thoughts make it.
Marcus Aurelius
Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.
Marcus Aurelius
You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
Marcus Aurelius
Life is a big amusement ride, one minute we are on top of the world the next we are scared shitless.. at times we can see everything clearly while other time we cant see a fucking thing.. some time the suns at our back with a breeze in the air, but at other times we get all spun up and puke. We all get off this ride unscathed going holy shit was that fucking cool. The ride never stops moving and changing and we never know whats going to happen. We get to choose what the ride feels like as thats based off our thoughts and we control our thoughts. Don't get off early.. you have no idea whats in store for you.. no body does.