drug epiphanies.. do they stay with you?

[custard]

On the weekend I went up to a musical festival and had one of the best experiences of my life. Of course, drugs helped with that.. and I also had the best acid trip I've ever had. (3rd time taking it.) I remember feeling so incredibly alive, so connected to the earth, the sky, energy, I danced like crazy and couldn't stop.. and I just remember thinking while I was high "this is what life is. I have never felt I understood the planet or felt this alive until now. Now it's all clear. This trip has/will change my life" etc etc. Hard to sum up exactly what went on in my mind as the memories are hazy.. but that brings me to my main point:

How well do you guys remember 'drug epiphanies' when you have them? What I mean is, when you're high out of your mind on any drug, and you have amazing realizations, changes of perspective, your mind is blown for whatever reason.. do you hang onto these thoughts days and weeks later? Or do they fade from your system rather quickly, and life goes back to being what it was? I felt that this trip and this experience had changed me so much, had opened my eyes to so many things, had taught me how to really live and appreciate the planet in new ways... but as each day has gone by since the weekend.. these thoughts fade more and more, and feel only like memories, while everything around me goes back to being what it was. It saddens me.. as I really thought my perspective and insight had changed in a permanent way, but maybe each trip, no matter how incredible, is just a trip.. Thoughts?

 

[Flickering]

On san pedro, I experienced deep respect for love in all its forms. Until then I'd found the whole concept of relationships pretentious and pointless, and couldn't grasp why people get depressed when they break up, or obsess over someone else. But now I understand it a lot better. I also realised that I'm a capable of love as anybody. Though I haven't been able to access that feeling again directly, the knowledge of it remains, and I know there's some way to unlock it even after losing hope that I ever would. I also realised that blaming people for even the worst crimes is just a hateful waste of energy, and that while some people need to be stopped for the sake of others, vengeance and our eye-for-an-eye attitude is only a perversion of nature in its perfect detachment. I was on the verge of realising this sober, but san pedro really showed it to me, and it's stayed, and I've stopped fantasising about murdering child molesters and despots and the man who misled me spiritually and stole all my money a few years ago.

Psychedelics open things in your mind, but once they're out of your system, those windows are closed again. What you're able to do with those memories depends on so many things. Watching the epiphanies disappear is a sad thing indeed, but be patient. The real stuff, the stuff you need, will stay with you in time. Part of why we lose these revelations, I think, is because we enter a state of mind that's so set apart from our day-to-day circumstances. Once we're slammed back to reality and we're no longer euphoric, all the things stopping us from achieving that state of mind get in the way again. That's why for most people, it takes years of meditation to truly learn the important stuff, not an acid trip or two. Keep working at it, you'll get what you need when you're ready.

 

[QuasiModo]

My first LSD experience was the catalyst for me quitting opiates, I suppose I found the motivation to stay sober through an "epiphany" I had on LSD but I couldn't pin point a moment during it where I thought "damn I need to get sober", I just dropped the L and the next day did not use opiates. It has stayed with me as even years since then the seldom times I have tried returning to opiates they reacted with my system as a poison. I was no longer able to derive pleasure from them.

It has only been a few days since my last psychedelic experience but I can clearly remember the tone of my introspection. I would say the feelings of the experience are gone but the notes of the introspection remain. The lessons arent lost but easily accessible when needed in sober, waking life. The important thing to keep in mind when looking for inspiration from psychedelics is that these compounds are teachers, this experience is ancient. They can motivate and enrich your psyche or tear it to pieces and leave you in shambles. Your reaction to these epiphanies will decide the former or the latter.

 

[Tommyboy]

Ibogaine is used for treating drug addiction due to the "epiphanies" that people have on it. In my time viewing videos and reading articles on it, the amount of time that is sticks with people varies, but it certainly can last over 6 months.

It is really up to the person though. I recall one time when I had taken mushrooms, I was about ready to throw my bowl on the ground, and really didn't want to smoke weed again. I kinda talked myself out of it the next weekend, but if I had gone into the trip wanting to stop smoking weed, I think that it could have lasted a lot longer.

 

[Ismene]

as I really thought my perspective and insight had changed in a permanent way, but maybe each trip, no matter how incredible, is just a trip.. Thoughts?

A peak experience is by necessity a momentary thing. That's not making any less of it - it's something magical and a beacon of hope in life. But the idea that you can get out of bed at 5am on a monday morning and go to work in the pissing rain with some kind of "mystical psychedelic mindset" just doesn't work.

But it can obviously help depression if you know that for a few hours you can have such a wonderful time, I think that's the best way of looking at it.

Edit: And I don't think this is anything limited to psychedelics - you hear a lot of people say "Oh, psychedelics are temporary, to be high permanently you have to study the way of the Buddha". But if you read about how the Tibetan Buddhists lived - they studied Buddhism all day for their entire lives but when one of their slaves stole a goat from them there was no atitude like "I learned in meditation that we should have no attachment to possessions, peace be unto you" - they just held him down and cut his hand off. They broke that son of a bitch in two.

The people who face everyday life with any kind of epiphany mindset are few and far between.

 

[D n A]

If I have time I like to try and write down or record my epiphanies. I've had some downright hilarious ones while smoking weed, and very insightful ones while taking 2c's and LSD. Mushrooms just turn me into a silly fool.
They're fun to read or listen to later.. sometimes these substances can really expand your mind, and make you use 110% percent of it (so to speak). I think up things that are just stunning, and seem so obvious at the time, and I wonder why I can't see these things when I'm sober. I feel so oblivious sometimes. I guess we just get too absorbed in reality to realize that some of our greatest thoughts and theories are invented in different dimensions, away from the stress and conformity of everyday life where we think that the way that we live is normal.

..Am I high?

 

[Flickering]

I think up things that are just stunning, and seem so obvious at the time, and I wonder why I can't see these things when I'm sober. I feel so oblivious sometimes. I guess we just get too absorbed in reality to realize that some of our greatest thoughts and theories are invented in different dimensions, away from the stress and conformity of everyday life where we think that the way that we live is normal.

That's exactly how it is for me. It's like, if I could just keep this uncluttered clarity of thought and emotions after this trip, I could lead a healthy, productive, confident, meaningful, perfect life. It would be so easy. Any masterstroke thought that comes tends to make me think, seriously, I'm tripping? This doesn't feel like being high, this feels like being normal. This is normal, and ordinary life is a low.

 

[Termino]

I've had quite a few epiphanies on various drugs. Some of the intellectual aspects have remained, but most of the emotional aspects have faded away. And I think it's just these emotional aspects that make psychedelic epiphanies so very powerful. Nevertheless, I do think that having such experiences has given me a glimpse beyond the veil and has helped me in my personal spiritual practices.

 

[MrGrunge]

It depends. I'm currently re-working my life according to an epiphany I had on a high dose of DXM, and so far it's turned out quite well. That being said, most of the revelations I have while under the influence of drugs leaves me as soon as the trip is over. I've noticed that my memory of the trip is really affected by whether or not I was able to sleep afterwards. REM sleep helps move move memories from short-term storage, to long-term storage, so if you don't get any sleep after a trip (which is extremely common), chances are you won't remember much and any epiphanies you experienced will practically vanish. I know some people like to keep trip journals to prevent such a thing from happening, but it takes a certain amount of discipline to focus and write while you're enjoying your trip (especially with dissociatives).

 

[custard]

That's exactly how it is for me. It's like, if I could just keep this uncluttered clarity of thought and emotions after this trip, I could lead a healthy, productive, confident, meaningful, perfect life. It would be so easy. Any masterstroke thought that comes tends to make me think, seriously, I'm tripping? This doesn't feel like being high, this feels like being normal. This is normal, and ordinary life is a low.

@Flickering and DnA: Yeah, that seems to sum up how I feel perfectly. Everything is so goddamn clear when you're tripping, you think you can really live life fully and properly and with truth and meaning, and then a couple days later you snap out of it and these powerful moments are just fragments in your mind. At what you said earlier though Flickering - wise words - thanks for the advice. It's difficult to have thoughts and experiences that feel so real and 'right'.. and watch them just drift away while you try so hard to cling onto them. But I suppose it's true... it's gonna take many trips, experiences, and introspection to change my perspective in a more permanent way. And the transition from being high to being sober is so drastic that I guess it is really hard for our minds to bridge the gap and retain everything fully.

@Termino: You also make an interesting point. It's much easier to hang onto the intellectual aspects than the emotional ones.. but the tricky part is I find it all very intertwined. That's how I feel now.. I can remember technically and logically some of the thoughts and discoveries I had while tripping, but without emotion, it doesn't mean anything to me; it doesn't feel real. I feel like I'm just following the instructions of a past version of myself who I feel very disconnected to.

@McGrunge: I haven't noticed the sleep aspect making a huge difference on how much I remember from my trips. I'm a k-lover, so I know how hard it would be to do 'functional' things such as writing what you're experiencing, (although art is great fun on dissociatives) but perhaps I'll give that a try next time I drop acid, and see how it turns out. Another thing to think about is how long you are high for. Usually when I indulge it's not for more than a day straight without sleeping, but I do remember getting some incredible ketamine one time that somehow kept me awake for days and with much more energy than I usually have on k. I was probably high for about 5 days straight, and I do remember being incredibly affected by that trip for a long while after. Near the end of it, I even forgot what being sober was - I thought I would permanently be high. So I wonder if something to experiment with, in terms of retaining epiphanies in sober life, is just staying high for longer. When I put it in perspective and realize I have spent about 1% of my life high and 99% sober, it makes sense how difficult it is to connect the two realities when one is so dominant. Not that I'm advocating becoming an addict or anything of the sort, but it's only logical to assume that spending more days in a row viewing life from a certain perspective would give you stronger grounds to reconnect with that perspective in later days. Any 'drug-binge' stories to relate anyone?

And I'm curious, (if you feel like sharing) what was your DXM epiphany? I remember k helping me a lot with letting go of life's anxieties and stresses, and just being able to accept people and their actions without getting too stuck on things. It also helped me punish myself less for my own fuckups.