Drug Effects

[alienxalienxali]

So this may seem a little odd but I've had the effects of ecstasy explained to me in person by a handful of people and tonight I got stuck in a yt rabbit hole of people explaining how it felt to them. I've always had this thought? concern? in the back of my mind about the way I am on any drug, I just don't ever seem to get the full effects. Like with ecstasy, I don't get that super happy, euphoric, needing to connect feeling, I just feel like I smoked a lotta weed and sex feels better when already doing it, I almost feel like I'm observing everyone else doing it? Same goes for any other drug really. Coke, alcohol, molly, x, shrooms, acid- i feel the effects of course but theres this big part of me that's still very sober feeling, like no matter how much I do. So I was just wondering is there a reason for this? Is there something wrong with me?

I have C-PTSD as well, I was told from a very unreliable source this may factor in, but there's that bit of information as well

 

[Red Dragonfly]

While there are common effects of a certain drug everyone reacts differently. Mental illness problems can have an impact on the reaction too.
Here is another thought: I relate a lot to the "others experiences are better"- thing and it's not just about drugs. Sounds to me like it also could be FOMO, fear of missing out. Would you feel the same about your experiences if you didn't hear about others' experiences? I mean, your experiences are likely different from others though everyone' s different but do you think you should be unsatisfied with your experiences if you couldn't compare them to others experiences?