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Drug addicted wife

Jire147

Jire147

Greenlighter
Joined
May 10, 2016
Messages
1
Hi everyone! My wife is 35 years old and she is a drug addict. She doesn't use it often, but when she does she doesn't know when to stop. After taking the drugs she will be in a condition where she can't hold her head up falling asleep. Does anyone here have faced a problem like this? One of my friend suggested to do the alcohol addiction treatment (www.bellwood.ca/programs/alcohol-and-drugs-treatment/ ). I just don't know where to go. Any advice will be appreciated. Thank you.
 
Can't hold her head up and falling asleep sounds like nodding off (opiates) to me.

Someone once said the extent that you can help someone depends on how much they want to help themselves. Not sure where I remember that from but it's been true in my experience.

I'll let someone else with more knowledge provide a better answer than I can give re: treatment programs.

Best of luck to you and your wife.
 
She sounds pretty hard core already. I would get her into a inpatient detox where she can be monitored and detoxed safely. They will take good care of her and make sure there are no medical complications.
 
And after that first step for staying sober it will be good if there is long term help available such as counseling, therapy and support groups. I would suggest you to get some guidance and help for yourself too. It is a hard thing to see your loved one in that kind of situation and it might be some rough time for you both at first until there is a solid foundation for staying sober.
 
Starting_over's comment "the extent that you can help someone depends on how much they want to help themselves" is spot on.

You should talk to her and tell her that you are worried about her use and that it infects you in a negative way. The reason that I started in treatment was not because I was hurting myself, it was because I was hurting my family and others who cared about me. That is why I suggest that you tell her how her behaviour it hurting you and how you worry about her. The next step would be professional help. This is not a task that you should take on alone. It is hard and requires help. I hope the best for both of you. And as kleinerkiffer told you, you can find more information in The Dark side or Sober Living on this forum. It is a good start to find information about have others in your situation helped their relatives suffering from drug abuse.
 
Look into bupenorphine usually obtained at a suboxone based opiate replacement therapy treatment at a chemical dependency treatment facility (rehab or better known as detox)
 
My best advice is to remain open and communicative with her. So, when she is ready to stop the process can be handled most effectively. Remain non judgemental and empathetic as possible. Confrontation and isolation are conditions that are not helpful. Try your best to maintain loving support

her use may be affecting you more than you realise. It may be beneficial for you to seek help. See a counselor or join a support group even if she isnt ready for treatment

id like to be able to give more precise advice. It would be helpful if you shared the background and more details. If you would like to message me, that would be okay
 
Jire142 - have you discussed her problem with her? If yes, how do those conversations go? Do you know what she is using as it does sound like opiates have been in that condition from other drugs as well. Do you use any substances yourself? We need more information to give you a decent answer. I will add, if she is on opiates sending her to a place for alcoholism may not be what she needs. Look forward to your response.
 
What is she using, and how much? That will help determine the amount of help she would need to stop. Before that can happen, you and her need to have an open and honest conversation about her using. Communication is incredibly important, even if she isn't ready to stop.
 
I was/am the addicted wife, my husband uses no drugs at all, doesn't even really drink alcohol though he's been around (and works with) addicts all his life. I had many many years clean from before we were married right through having our children and it was only when we had finished our family and something traumatic happened (actually a string of things) that I fell into aeduction again and it took hold quickly.

It sounds like she is using opiates or maybe benzos/alcohol or all 3. That was me. I lied a lot, tried to hide it but he knew, everyone knew.

Where is she at in regards to talking about it/willing to do something about it? Even admitting she has a problem? This is key to knowing what to do I guess. If she knows and admits she has a problem then support her and make every way possible for her to get treatment. It's hard but try not to judge. Most of us don't set out to hurt anybody (except maybe ourselves) but it's exactly what we end up doing.

There are many paths she could take - short term detox and therapy, long term rehab and ongoing therapy, 12 step programs, suboxone plus therapy for either a short term detox or longer term maintenance if she feels like she is likely to relapse. Diffeeent things work for different people.

In my early 20's I did a longer term rehab, I did get some useful tools out of it though I relapsed and was in and out of the rooms of NA and only stayed clean to have my first (and subsequent) children. At that point in my life I had many years clean with the support of NA.

This time around i did a short term detox, I did feel like I needed rehab again but with 5 young kids and a business it wasn't an option. I relapsed and ended up on SUBOXONE and a very long and ongoing Benzo taper. Nearly three years in im still on maintenance, struggling but 'clean' apart from my Meds and the occasional weed I've recenlty started using (though have decided to give that a break as I can feel the pull of dependence.). While 12 step programs worked for me in the past, being on Suboxone they aren't an option for me now so im doing therapy.

The main issues for Husband have been trust. He was really good while I was going through my addiction and getting clean but a couple of years on all the mistrust and judgement came into play and it was so so hard living under suspicion everyday when I wasn't doing anything wrong at all. I saw the problem and fixed it, the ball was then in his court to deal with his trust issues as I had done all I could do. Addiction is messy and as the other party I guess you walk the fine line of supporting and enabling which isn't easy.

Best of luck, if she's using BENZOs particularly, don't suggest or let her go cold turkey as It is extremely dangerous. If 12 steps appeal to you. There are meetings such as NARanon for family members of addicts to get support from others going through the same thing.
 
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