Dreaming about using

[Serotonin101]

Very much the same,of late I often dream about being at parties taking MDXX and it can feature randomly in other dreams. I haven't taken the stuff in years but I do look back on those days with rose tinted specs, the freedom and happiness have largely eluded me since.

I too wear those specs. I remember hugging my best friends and honestly feeling loved when we said we loved eachother... MDXX filled that "void" lots of recovery places and 12 step fellowships mention, the best "filler" out of all the substances I've used. I try to believe I can feel even a little bit of that love, empathy, and belonging, but deep down inside I know biologically, neurologically, it's impossible, otherwise such drugs would not be so desirable. I do love all you people here on BL especially TDS, I just got my 6 months clean on the 5th of July, and when I go to my homegroup tomorrow and they ask "How'd you do it?" I will mention the support I got from my BL (mostly TDS) family. This junkie is very grateful tonight. No matter how down any of you feel, Sero here loves you and is always here for you. =)