SoCalShordie
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2021
- Messages
- 1,377
Had a fucked up dream last night. Some of you know, I lost my best friend last month to H/fent overdose. I’m pretty good at compartmentalization & stuffing this kinda shit way down deep. Last night I had a dream I was in some kind of hotel room or something with Elle. She was laying in the bed dying, overdosing. Two others were there. 911 was called. But the floor was covered with blue roxies & white Xanax bars. Covered. I was afraid for Elle but I was ashamed that my own demons overtook me and I ended up on my hands and knees crawling around on the floor to pick up all the pills I could. Some i popped into my mouth, some I stuffed into my pockets. I remember feeling shame and sorrow and all kinds of fucked up. I awoke feeling absolutely hollow. None of this happened in real life, I’ve been clean off opiates & benzos for some time. Wondering why I had this dream. I can’t stop thinking about it.