Mental Health DPD Experiences

EphemeralOutlet141

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Dec 11, 2014
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Depersonalization Experiences

For people who have suffered depersonalization/derealization, how did you know you had it? Lately I've been noticing those words being used in a few threads I was scrolling through and curiosity took hold of me so I read up on it. It's really scary how close some of the symptoms match up with my personality and feelings. Most people say it happens to them after smoking weed or doing other psychedelics, and I just had a rather traumatic experience with weed as well as other unusually strong anxiety and panic before and after. Anxiety is a regular thing in my life, but this was so much more intense.

Before I go ahead and jump to any conclusion or self-diagnose myself, I want to know how past or present sufferers were first introduced to it and how you got rid of it. I took a test dealing with it and scored uncomfortably high.
 
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I was told by a psychologist in high school what it was called after I described that sometimes my surroundings dont feel real and I got it from marijuana. He just told me its called derealization and depersonalization and that anxiety, depression and paranoia increase together.

Take it as a sign that you can not do drugs, looking back I seriously think it is related to psychosis, you can get better from DPD and Derealization in time. But I think the next step after that is psychosis, I just wish I was told that at the time.

Psychologists have a major tendency to down play things to boost your confidence in life, and this has fucked me up each time(I am borderline though) I have seen one so dont take that as a sign that you are okay.
 
Time changes. Your connection to your surroundings and the things they mean to you becomes stretched and warped and maybe you can't remember why they matter. You're floating through the world, not a part of it, but above it or through it and it's parting like the red sea for you. It feels like you're looking in from outside the glass, unable to absorb any of it or connect to it in any way.
Sorry to get all poetic but it really is the only way I can describe it because it feels that way. The world just feels like it should be (or is) spinning around you slowly, and your logic and emotions split and the empathy just slides into the underglow until all that's left is you, analyzing, wondering apathetically and absently if it matters and what any of it means.

If you're lucky, you come back. If not, you keep sliding, and you wake up covered in food wrappers or track marks or somewhere you've never been before with no idea how you got there and 18 text messages from freaked out friends.
 
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