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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

down and out in new jersey

deaf eye

deaf eye

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 9, 2008
Messages
1,631
Location
ktown
right now
i dont have a job, i dont have insurance,im all out of unemployment ~
im couch surfing ,

im wondering if any of ya'll know what options/assistance are out there for me, like medicare medicade ~i really wanna talk to a psychologist or an addiction specialist
i kicked everything else, but i cant shake free from the benzos
can any of yall help steer me back on track,


ive had grand mal seizures from the w/d's and i had charity care at a hospital for a year but i was a dumb ass and didnt tell them i was a benzo addict thinking it would blemish my medical record in the future ~ :\ the dr prescribed me more meds than i could afford to buy and just went back to
to tapering down on my own
but every time once im stable around .50 mg , i'll come across a bunch of sticks and ruin my taper plan
and have to start all over again

i'll apply for jobs and be productive when i got a pill bottle full of xanax,
i'll also do a bunch of dumb shit as well

i dunno its all me and wanting to stop this self destructive behavior ,

sorry for the rambling , i could of averted all this when i had my charity care, and had the hospital steer me in the right direction,. but heck i was scared,

what to do ? what to do ?

right now im on day 3 from putting the breaks on a two week hardcore bender,
i did a rapid taper down to 3 mg of xanax spread out thru out the day
and feeling sketched out real bad,
tomorrow will be better
 
Funny, not in a ha ha way but in an ironic way. My ex bf lived with me in cali and had everything, didn't have to work, all his bills were paid, he was on my insurance, but he had a drug problem along with emotional issues. He has a free pass to get help 100% free of cost with me standing next to him supporting him like I had for the last 7 years. But what does he decide to do? Pack up his little nissan with clothes, pc, etc and drives to NJ. Just to get there to be a bum on a friends couch, no job, no direction, no help.

By you posting this makes me believe you want to get better. You should be able to get some sort of assistance. Treat it like a job, spend 4-6 hours a day trying to find a program, assistance, or whatever you can to help get you back on your feet.

Good luck
 
Hey Deaf Eye-

I've been where you are- hopeless, lost, and desperate. All my ambitions, goals, friends, and family slowly started to lose faith in me. I didn't know what was wrong with me- my life was falling apart. Something had to change, but I wasn't sure what. I tried to change everything I could think of, all to no avail. When I had given up completely and had started to make attempts at my life, I had finally become desperate enough to change the one thing I had been unwilling to stop- using drugs. I reached out for help and life started to get better.

If you think you have had enough of the life you are living and are ready to go to any lengths to recover from the state you're in, you are well on your way. There is a solution. Thousands of individuals far worse off than yourself have been able to recover from their addictions and have found peace and happiness. If you would like to read more of their experiences, as well as learn about a (free!) program of recovery, you can find a wonderful resource here: http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/

Good luck, it does get better, no matter how hopeless you may feel right now you can recover. Message me or keep posting in this thread if you would like to hear more of my story, or any suggestions about what you can do to recover. Everything's going to be okay (even if you don't believe it!)
 
Hey bro, I live in NJ as well, and now exactly how you feel/where you're at. I'm not in the mood to type out my life story right now, but in my county, Social Services helped me out immensely. I got medicaid, full coverage. They also helped me get my disability money squared away since I cannot work at the moment. (Cancer treatment for the last 1.5 years, along with drug problems..Now am on MMT). I don't know what county you live in, but I would highly recommend getting in touch with social services for your county. They sent me to rehab for free, got me hooked up with full coverage medicaid, paid for rehab, pay for MMT, and got my disability money squared away.

I had thought I was fucked and just gonna die, but luckily I heeded the advice of my mom and went to social services.. They practically saved my life. Now if I could find a decent psychiatrist to take over my touchy mental issues and get me back on the proper meds, I'd be doing fucking dandy.

Depression/severe anxiety/insomnia is killing me. Good luck man, just remember ther IS help out there. Feel free to PM me or something if you want to. Tonigh I am pretty useless, but This is all I cna muster up to type for now. No methadone today, so w/d is creeping in.. along with lack of benzos it is gonna be a long evening/night. You bet i'll be there at the clinic though at 6 am when they open to get my fucking take homes, though.

Good luck buddy. Be strong.
 
New Jersey is drugzs. Therefore, New Jersey has many ways of getting out of the drugz if you want to. AA, NA, clinics, PEOPLE, hospitals, illegal and legal drugs (used in detox manner), churches, crime, work without pay, work with pay, shelter without pay, getting a loan from people (mafia, shady, or others),....,,,..NJ is liberal once you go east. I will admit, GABA agonist addiction sucks, and is even more additive in this state. Good Luck!
 
Getting of sooner gives you a better chance than later, but really know this, a cycle of relapsing then withdrawing then relapsing etc. makes the shit much mcuh worse as far as symptoms and duration go. Good luck. It's the worst experience I've ever faced in life.
 
You may look into contacting your county or cities Local Human Services Center (where you apply for food stamps).
They almost always have help for basically everything you listed. They can help you find shelter, food, therapy, and rehab if you need that..........
I looked up Department of Human Services in NJ- HERE IS THE LINK...... I think you can find there people to contact for help.
We have a thread at the top of TDS' Main Page, I did a search through there also for NJ- Mental Health Resources/Treatment Options -
New Jersey is highlighted for you..........
Hope that may help!!
 
^Yeah they are the people that got me back on my feet. I called them social services, but department of human services is the proper name, i guess. In Somerset county, they hooked me up with food stamps, medicaid, free re-hab, pay half my rent, got my disability squared away.. They really do do some good work down there. it is worth the waiting room and the paper work.
 
thanks kindly for the replies, im well right now im down to 1 mg a day in just about a week, .50 twice a day, seems to do the trick with keeping the seizures and benzo twitches at bay ~ im going to wait till i stabilize on that cuz i still feel kinda sketchy, then i will reduce a tiny bit , but im getting more and more sleep each day ~the ear ringing is driving me up a tall tree though ~ i won a scholarship for art classes so thats chill, plus being around mostly sober and positive people will help a bunch im sure,

still havent got my medical stuff strait, but im going to look into hudson county social services tommorow, \

i tried that link to the new jersey mental health resources all ready and it didnt work
i got this message '
Invalid Post specified. If you followed a valid link, please notify the administrator
 
well here i am , 105 days clean from all mind and mood altering substances
had to hit the bad bad bottom,

did the detox thing , did the taper thing, im kind of happy i suffered so greatly , im getting my mind back
im feeling like my old self again,
im smiling
creative ideas and juices are flowing
its nice being on the light side,

have hope , things get better
 
Excellent news deaf eye! I kicked benzos and opiates myself and I know how difficult a process it is.

You seem to be in a really good state of mind.
 
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