doubting myself again

[Mellabopper]

am i jealous?
of those who you know better than i?
those with whom
you have shared memories
i have yet to accept the fact
that your life existed without me
and after me
it will continue
am i just a passing phase?
why do i keep questioning myself?
filling my mind with doubts?
and i challenge everything dear to me.
why?
why dont i feel
that i'll ever be
good enough
for you
because you are amazing.
dare i say perfect?
and i
i am me
no match for you
you could do so much better than i
but then, i pray
why are you with me
or are you even with me?
WHAT ARE WE?
why dont i feel that i can ask?
fear of putting on on the spot?
of scaring you away?
that's the last thing
i want to do.
i dont want you to doubt me.
because then i could not live
with myself
and i'd be left
broken
and alone
again.
12-15-00 (written at 12:10 am)
Mellabopper
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~*~*~ meat is no treat for those you eat ~*~*~
animals are for petting!
"does anyone know where we are? because i think i dont have a clue"

 

[ShelleBear]

Wow. thats all I can say. Like you once told me "how scary it is to see your thoughts written by another"
Shelle

 

[bc]

perfect is something i wish i could be.
but perfection does not exist.
nobody, and no thing
can ever be perfect.
because perfect means unchanging, immutable, eternal.
but perfection can be glimpsed and held
for a short time at least.
a person can be perfect for another, at a time.
you, and me, right now...
is the closest thing to perfection i know.
i'm going to miss you over the next 4 weeks, but you have nothing to doubt, or worry about.
i'm not perfect, but you and i, are.
bc
------------------
bc-
**Proud to be an Official member of the Stuck-Up/8-Up Crew**
"Fuck PLUR! it's all about hardcore ass fucking!!"
We'll make great pets...
"drug suppliers, typically wearing 'Ecko' brand sweat shirts shuffle around the dance floor, chanting softly, 'want some pills? k?'" - Shu Shin Luh, The Chicago Sun-Times

 

[Mellabopper]

... i'm gonna miss you, too

...
Mella
------------------
~*~*~ meat is no treat for those you eat ~*~*~
animals are for petting!
"does anyone know where we are? because i think i dont have a clue"

 

[cherub]

mella,, i know how you feel right now !
I been doing that same thing?
sometimes it is so hard to just be trusting afraid of everything around you is very hard at times.
you really kinda took those thoughts in my head that been there the last few days.
thanks
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Just takes one angel to change a life
~~~~CHERUB~~~~
Aka: Mommyhen
~I still belive in your eyes~-Gigi D'Agostino
~~~I can be your Wendy, and you can be my Peter Pan. And we can fly to Neverneverland~~~