• LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

Dormroom/roomate Q's

vanity_lol

Greenlighter
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Sep 30, 2008
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So I'm heading off to San Francisco for college as a freshman. I'm going to be rooming in the shittiest of the dorms, with one other random person. Can anyone give me some insight to life with another roommate. I cant fall asleep if there is a TV on or something, little things like that worry me about a roommate. Also hitting the bong, can I do it in the dorm safely, not hotboxing it but just a few rips. Finally what if my roomate is a sketch, what are my options for smoking. also what if i wanna bring a bitch over to bang and my roommates there, we gotta work that out? haha so many Q's just share your experiences
 
The things you worry about are completely rational, but the one thing I can really only suggest is talk it out with your roommate when you meet each other and set boundaries and rules from the get go.

As far as smoking out in your room, get a feel for how your roommate is first.

All in all, show some respect, and you should get respect back.
 
I doubt smoking in your dorm room will work out. Some people in my dorm tried it when I was a freshman and they got caught by the RA's... you can smell it all the way down the hall. Either open the window and get a really good fan or stuff the cracks in your doors. It's not worth the risk IMO. Just smoke at parties or outside in your car.

I agree with Rogue Robot, a lot of this stuff you will just have to talk about. I had a roomate who went to bad fairly early so I would just watch DVDs on my laptop with headphones as not to disturb her... so maybe if your roomate likes to stay up late he can do that.

There is usually some kind of code for wantting to have a girl over... tie a bandana around the doorknob or something so he won't come in, then go remove it when you're done :)
 
Smoking in your room really depends on the dorm. You have a shitty dorm for what reason?

There's always the "party dorms" where the RA's don't really give a shit what you do and there are tons of dorm parties, and the other dorms where they watch you pretty closely. My ex bf was in one of the party dorms and he smoked from his room every day multiple times... everytime I walked down that hallway I could smell weed and nobody really gave a shit.

Some dorms also have REALLY sensitive fire alarms, however-- my friend set hers off by taking a very hot shower. So you'll have to get a feel for that once you're there.

Having girls over you have to work out with your roommate. I would say off the bat sit down and talk about EVERYTHING-- having girls over, playing loud music or watching TV late at night, study hours, having friends over, sharing food, how clean you're going to be (who's going to vaccum, can clothes be all over the place, blah blah). I know some dorms now make you sit down with your RA and go over specifics beforehand, but I strongly urge you to do it BEFORE you start living together and not figure it out as you go. If you just make rules from the get go you won't get on each other nerves but feel awkward about saying it, it becomes much more awkward to say "uhm, I don't want to share food" when you've been living together three months and become friends. And tiny shit, like the other person never vaccuming, will escalate into make you want to murder them in their sleep after six months. :)
 
What college was that? I'm attending SFSU and will be living in the Residence Halls, not shitty, I just mean low on the totem pole compared to the others. Are the RA's there 24/7?
 
My ex was at Berkley.

I don't know that much about the SF State dorms unfortunately (despite going there, hah, I've never lived in the dorm). I'll ask around and see what I can dig up for you.
 
So I'm heading off to San Francisco for college as a freshman. I'm going to be rooming in the shittiest of the dorms, with one other random person. Can anyone give me some insight to life with another roommate.

Honestly, it can be anywhere beteween meeting your new best friend, or making your new worst enemy. Did your University have you fill out any type of compatability testing at all for roommates? If not (or even possibly if yes), then it really is moving in with a complete stranger.

I got lucky, and got single rooms my first two years of college. But my third year, I stuck with a really bad roommate randomly (didn't know the guy beforehand). He talked in his sleep, was a SLOB in the truest sense of the word, was a huge alcoholic and in general just kind of had a serial-killer twinkle to his eye.

I cant fall asleep if there is a TV on or something, little things like that worry me about a roommate. Also hitting the bong, can I do it in the dorm safely, not hotboxing it but just a few rips. Finally what if my roomate is a sketch, what are my options for smoking. also what if i wanna bring a bitch over to bang and my roommates there, we gotta work that out? haha so many Q's just share your experiences

Little things like this, you need to just lay out ground rules on day 1. 99% of people will understand this and not be offended (for example, the background noise thing). Sure, you may have to compromise in some ways (college life is NOT like staying at a Hilton), but so will the other person.

I will say, though, that if your roommate is not down with you smoking or posessing within your dorm room, it would be extremely disrespectful for you to do such. Not simply due to imploliteness, but because if you get busted, he can potentially get punished as well. And given that he didn't do anything wrong, that would be unfair on him.
 
[<snip> - HR still applies to this forum, and HR also includes not putting people in danger of being arrested or kicked out of uni - RR]

I did this all my freshman year and things worked out perfectly. You gotta be able to look people in the eyes and talk shit when you're high though.
 
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SF State dorms if they are anything like the res housing at Chico State they will be very anti-drug. Best to discover the rules when you get there and then smoke outside on the street. They can't punish you if you come back high.
 
All of the advice in here is really good. The most important piece being the communication with your roommate.

During my sophmore year in the dorms, I had one of the coolest roommates I've ever lived with, and we were so completely opposite. He was a freshly returned Mormon missionary who didn't smoke, drink, swear, or ever get with a woman. The reason we got on so well was the respect we had for each other and the communication. The first day we sat down and talked about living together, and at that point I was scared shitless of what the year was going to be like with this pious Mormon,I was honest about what I do, my drug use, all of it. We agreed that I wouldn't use anything in the room, no need to put my roommate at risk for my actions when he wants no part of them. That was easy enough for me to respect. Next, we worked out what to do if I had a girl in the room, but agreed it would be better to go to her room or somewhere else (it's a dormitory, there aren't many places it hasn't happened). The year went smoothly, and there were no problems between us. I seriously pissed off another neighbor so much that he tried to have me arrested, by telling the police I sell drugs out of my dorm room. When the police came searching, my roommate verified that he had never seen me selling drugs or bring them into the room (why not leave them in the car, I never drive anyway). He saved my ass from going to jail, all by his honesty and me living up to our agreements.

moral of this blabbing: talk to you roomate.
 
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