Dope Fiend Behavior

I'm sitting here on the sofa watching my dog sniff through a plastic bag with non-food items in it. He was told and shown that there was nothing edible in it but, the junky in him doesn't believe the cold hard facts and still digs his nose in there looking for 'just one'.

His behavior reminds me of how I was when I was in Colorado and my connect was living with me. Dude got busted one night at a bar for possession. I had bought some powder from him earlier that day and I had just run out when I got the call that he was in jail. So... what did I do? I went into his stash and pulled out a nice rock (just one, mind you). Well, that didn't last long so I went to get 'just one more'. A day and a half later I had done the entire bag (just a tad under an ounce).

This was another beginning to the end. Since he was in jail and I had already done his stash, I needed more. I proceeded to methodically go through his things (being careful to insure it looked like nothing had been disturbed). I found a gram in a pocket of his suitcase. It was rather crispy and he probably misplaced it a long time ago. I was EXTREMELY happy until that bag quickly ran out.

Next, I went through his medications. He had a double lung transplant 2 years prior and had TONS of medication. I never heard of half the stuff since I was never into pills but, thanks to Pill Identifiers online I was able to find some goodies to keep me pleasant.

Just one, right? One more never hurt nobody, right?

Its funny, my dog and I have a lot in common. I try not to dope fiend anymore. I put the drugs and alcohol down awhile ago but sometimes that same type of behavior creeps into my life and I gotta be aware of it.

I don't have to live like a fiend anymore and it feels good.

 

Oh man, he must have been PISSED when he got out.

It's interesting, but you're exactly right in comparing the two behaviours. In your dog's case, he's learned a strong association between plastic grocery bags (and probably to an extent bags in general) and food. In your case, you had an association with your roommate and the drugs that you needed to get by. Having never gone through what you have, this is mostly academic for me, but from your posts it sounds like a lot of the recovery process (once the physical addiction is gone) involves breaking these often very strong associations.

 

I was able to pay him back but that was the beginning of the end for me. Paying him back earned his trust and I was able to get massive fronts. I was even allowed to weigh out my own bags when he wasn't around (needless to say I was honest at first but quickly weighed them MUCH heavier than they should have been).

When I left CO I was in debt to him for about 8k. It was up to 13k at one point but I sold a bunch of my things (52" flat screen tv, expensive watches, etc)

Makes me sick thinking about it but I don't ever want to forget that time period. I can go RIGHT back to that spot with just one prick of the pin. Ugh! Fuckin' disgusting