Dont want to go on, but I got to

trll

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 25, 2010
Messages
81
Location
London England
Just dont want to go on any longer I feel utterly spent out.
All I am experiencing is loss loss loss.
If I dint have my kids I think thay I would call it day. I am done in. Been a day of total rejection.
I took a variety of diffent pills and smoked some H. Now I dont care if I wake up or not.
But I know me kids need me so i just gonna stay on the computer all nite and see what i feel 2morro
 
"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly more than we could ever ask, Father, I ask you, in your grace and mercy do not let this person do anything to cause themselves any harm.
No matter who, what, where, or why you have much still to do. Your words remind me of me.
Someone shared with me this and it saved me from disaster.
"If you do not know God this is a good time to try". I did I asked Him to help me, He did, He is there for you also and I promise you He will never leave. He is there for you, just ask Him, He will help you. Then you can get busy doing it is what you are suppose to be doing.
 
Hope you're doin' okay now..........
I'm not clear on the details of your situation but you've said you have kids-
Like you have said, your children need and depend on you......
Think of them and the example you want to set for them.
I'm sure that you would want your children to work through the hard times and stay strong. <3
Please keep usposted on how you're doing.
 
time for some healthy living, buy a juicer, a bag of carrots, celery etc i garuantee you will feel better if you feed yourself some soul food, its my answer to most things these days,it will give you clearer mind and help you work out your own thoughts,promise
 
"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly more than we could ever ask, Father, I ask you, in your grace and mercy do not let this person do anything to cause themselves any harm.
No matter who, what, where, or why you have much still to do. Your words remind me of me.
Someone shared with me this and it saved me from disaster.
"If you do not know God this is a good time to try". I did I asked Him to help me, He did, He is there for you also and I promise you He will never leave. He is there for you, just ask Him, He will help you. Then you can get busy doing it is what you are suppose to be doing.

I can only understand the term god as nature.
And as such, whether i live or die is of no consquence, the universe will turn as it should for the benifit of all life on earth, it is not related to any individual.
I am happy for you that you have your belief if it helps you. but for me its fiction, and i cant beleive in somthing unreal. its just not there, i cant believe what i dont believe. it would be a hypocritcal lie. thankx for your thought to reply with all the good intentioons you have,
all the best bx
 
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Hope you are doing alright today?

Thank you yes more positive, I have cut out all people who were taking my energy, all negative stuff. Am physically very low and exhausted. I have found very little professional suport available.

Last 2 days alot of crying which probably good.
My kids need me and there fathers not around I have to do my best.
My eldest and I still recovering from his fathers suicide so I know in my heart I would destroy him if I left. But mad as it seems I cant help feeling envious that he no longer has the burdens I have.
My nieghbours wont give us a minites peace, house is cold and damp, teens all wanting consumer goods a cant provide I have money troubles, health issues, other family members in desperatly hard times, and doing my best not to self medicate and tired tired of it all. Is it wrong to ask the universe for a couple of $£ X 1000, to fix some of it?
THis too shall Pass,
Bx

Thanks to you all for being there for me these last few months, I think this support is getting me through.x
 
Trll

Hang in there my friend. Honestly, your children need you more than ever. I know it's hard and you must be thinking "why have I been dealt this hand" but I think you are strong and you can overcome it. Have you talked to a physician about your fatigue. Is it just mental fatigue? Could there be an underlying condition? Maybe you should pickup hobbies to get your mind off things. Even something as simple as painting, pottery, or arts n crafts. They're all something you and your kids can enjoy and theyre high involvement tasks, meaning you will help activate your mind and take it off things that are bothering you.

I know it takes a lot to muster the energy or drive to do something like that, but its honestly an amazing remedy. Helps you take your energy and turn it into productivity. Hope I helped!

Stick with it. You are stronger than you realize.
 
Don't ever try to take your own life, as much shit there is in life, good things will happen
 
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