Don't Wanna Jinx It but...

...this is day 2 of not smoking. I'm doing it kind of cold turkey.

Yesterday I chewed a piece of 2mg nicotine gum for about 5 minutes. This morning I needed to chew half a piece because I accompanied a friend of mine to a court hearing for moral support and just couldn't hold back the cravings. Well, its not really cravings that are fucking with me, it is more of that on-edge, irritable discomfort that makes me pop a piece of gum.

Tell ya what, I absolutely CAN'T STAND people when I'm withdrawing from nicotine. I've been keeping my phone turned off these past two days for the simple fact that people are annoying. I don't want to hear about their problems, opinions or stories of how good/bad they are. I'm trying to make changes in my life. Quitting cigarettes is one of those changes.

Man, I truly want to punch someone sometimes. I figure in perhaps a day or two, this irritability will go away.

I hope so... I'm starting to question the nature of my character. These past few days are making me think that I am a complete, selfish asshole.

I'm gonna go to my meeting in about an hour, roll out as soon as its over, go home, pop an OTC sleep thing and go to bed with another successful day without cigarettes.

We'll see what happens.

 

Way to go! Nicotine is an insidious drug, and all the harder to quit because of its social acceptability. I remember quitting years ago; I didn't have too much of a habit yet (a pack every day or two, but only for a year), but I still remember being irritable as fuck.

There's nothing wrong with being a bit selfish right now OD. You're making some huge changes in your life, and right now it is all about you. And it needs to be all about you for some time yet so that your hard won victories are maintained. Always question yourself though. In every life there is always room to grow, and complacency is no fun.

Pardon the rambling. I just got my flu shots, and am tired as all hell. Kudos on being smoke free though, seriously!

 

Bleh! I smoked one and a half cigarettes today (so far).
I'm a MUCH nicer person with nicotine in my system.
I'm going to attempt to not beat myself up over it. Yeah, I'm a weak piece of shit for breaking down and throwing those 2 days of miserable agitation away but, if I dwell on how weak I am I'll punish myself by doing things that are much more harmful to me

 

Ah! Oh well, shit happens. Just shrug it off and try again.

Have you considered trying a taper rather than cold turkey?