Wonderful day today, though it could be better for me since I believe my 4-y ltr girlfriend is constantly disappointing me, maybe even on purpose 8)
Yesterday evening (like every 5 days of 7) she was too tired to make love, obsessing that her vagina is not clean enough being too lazy to get up and wash it; instead she opted for some stupid chick flick and (at least for me) a rather boring cuddling-only session while watching.
That happens just hours after I was together with her and her parent and basically told in front of them all my thoughts and opinions I exposed on this forum during recent years. So now I believe, even officially, writing is on the wall. The parents characterized me as soulless since as they said I'm blackmailing my own gf that if she does not "improve" i.e. change behavior, style, put more effort into keeping in form and healthy and become more attentive to my true needs, I'll leave her. I believe this is misconception, I'm not soulless but rather realistic and firm about my own expectations and standards. One can blame me for taking so much time to consider and come up with these objections (to which I frankly was not even paying attention years ago), but also not all the objections were present and/or visible immediately. For instance, when I get to date a person, how can I know if she is lazy, has health issues, maybe addictions, OCD,...?? People it takes some time to evaluate that; I might have taken longer than necessary in these years, but this is to blame to a fast paced lifestyle and the fact we did not spend so much time together.
Her parents continued to bullshit about some "soul match" qualities, "falling in love with the soul not the body" etc; and though I can't deny such things do exist, the way to this is by being attentive and responsive to your partner's needs and not just acting all reverse.
Though despite the warnings, she decided to act lazy to make love yesterday night. Also today she took me shopping for some supplies to clean in front of my house. I told her I don't give a fucking fuck about whether the house entrance is clean or not and that she is basically wasting her time and not earning any extra 'points' with me for doing that. She said "but I do care" nonchalantly and proceeded with her idea to waste some of her (and mine) effort cleaning. This is especially fun, since there is a dedicated service doing that and the neighborhoods are not routinely involved in that kind of stuff.
We went to the shop so she buys some socks and I found a pair of sexy lingerie "porn movie style" and asked to try it out; she rushed out of the shop like a maniac with the attendant smiling while continuing to persuade us to try it out. I don't expect for her to take it out to parties, but in-house she could very well wear that.
So she continues to disappoint, but the mightily wisdom of the "lack of better car analogy" suggest it's not yet time to call it quits. Everything in life is valued against comparables, so having imperfect information about other girls and limited resources to explore, I'd probably have to roll over the things for another year and see if any new horizons open, in any sense. In the meantime I could be implementing a strategy to ramp up my proper value and hope that will help to attract more of what I'd love to see and deter those with sub-par performance...What do you think?
One thing I did is a what-if experiment: If I had millions of dollars right now, what would I do?
Well guess, I would be calling for a much tougher game. Money liberates, enriches the mind and help crystallize in reality one's refined tastes, true needs and desires. It gives a lot more than a self confidence; it rises arrogance and promotes over-reaching towards new experiences. It might just be a little push I need toward a better life for myself, and less bothering for you 
I don't know if I'd miss her, most probably yes...If I had a magic wand to transform her into a body and personality my mind desires, I'd certainly do that...
But some people don't want to change, showing their actual selfishness, can't you dress up for the partner you say you like so much?? Can't you possibly accept sexy lingerie I LIKE as a gift, opposed to bothering me to do and buy what YOU LIKE...?
Selfishness, pure selfishness. And I like playing to that, since it in a cynical way validates my views of the world I exposed you here during recent years. Maybe that's why it's so difficult to take the escape route, or maybe not?
Yesterday evening (like every 5 days of 7) she was too tired to make love, obsessing that her vagina is not clean enough being too lazy to get up and wash it; instead she opted for some stupid chick flick and (at least for me) a rather boring cuddling-only session while watching.
That happens just hours after I was together with her and her parent and basically told in front of them all my thoughts and opinions I exposed on this forum during recent years. So now I believe, even officially, writing is on the wall. The parents characterized me as soulless since as they said I'm blackmailing my own gf that if she does not "improve" i.e. change behavior, style, put more effort into keeping in form and healthy and become more attentive to my true needs, I'll leave her. I believe this is misconception, I'm not soulless but rather realistic and firm about my own expectations and standards. One can blame me for taking so much time to consider and come up with these objections (to which I frankly was not even paying attention years ago), but also not all the objections were present and/or visible immediately. For instance, when I get to date a person, how can I know if she is lazy, has health issues, maybe addictions, OCD,...?? People it takes some time to evaluate that; I might have taken longer than necessary in these years, but this is to blame to a fast paced lifestyle and the fact we did not spend so much time together.
Her parents continued to bullshit about some "soul match" qualities, "falling in love with the soul not the body" etc; and though I can't deny such things do exist, the way to this is by being attentive and responsive to your partner's needs and not just acting all reverse.
Though despite the warnings, she decided to act lazy to make love yesterday night. Also today she took me shopping for some supplies to clean in front of my house. I told her I don't give a fucking fuck about whether the house entrance is clean or not and that she is basically wasting her time and not earning any extra 'points' with me for doing that. She said "but I do care" nonchalantly and proceeded with her idea to waste some of her (and mine) effort cleaning. This is especially fun, since there is a dedicated service doing that and the neighborhoods are not routinely involved in that kind of stuff.
We went to the shop so she buys some socks and I found a pair of sexy lingerie "porn movie style" and asked to try it out; she rushed out of the shop like a maniac with the attendant smiling while continuing to persuade us to try it out. I don't expect for her to take it out to parties, but in-house she could very well wear that.
So she continues to disappoint, but the mightily wisdom of the "lack of better car analogy" suggest it's not yet time to call it quits. Everything in life is valued against comparables, so having imperfect information about other girls and limited resources to explore, I'd probably have to roll over the things for another year and see if any new horizons open, in any sense. In the meantime I could be implementing a strategy to ramp up my proper value and hope that will help to attract more of what I'd love to see and deter those with sub-par performance...What do you think?
One thing I did is a what-if experiment: If I had millions of dollars right now, what would I do?
Well guess, I would be calling for a much tougher game. Money liberates, enriches the mind and help crystallize in reality one's refined tastes, true needs and desires. It gives a lot more than a self confidence; it rises arrogance and promotes over-reaching towards new experiences. It might just be a little push I need toward a better life for myself, and less bothering for you I don't know if I'd miss her, most probably yes...If I had a magic wand to transform her into a body and personality my mind desires, I'd certainly do that...
But some people don't want to change, showing their actual selfishness, can't you dress up for the partner you say you like so much?? Can't you possibly accept sexy lingerie I LIKE as a gift, opposed to bothering me to do and buy what YOU LIKE...?
Selfishness, pure selfishness. And I like playing to that, since it in a cynical way validates my views of the world I exposed you here during recent years. Maybe that's why it's so difficult to take the escape route, or maybe not?
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