So I was taking about 8mg Suboxone daily for about 6 years. In that time period I had a family... Lost my family... The financial burden of paying out of pocket for a sub doc and meds probably didn't help but I refused to take anything else around my children. They were the only thing I have found that kept me clean. I did take Subs during that period. Although I used to always take "breaks" from my subs constantly before I had my kids. Take tons of oxy and then go back. Wish now that I just would of came off the subs while I still had a family but.... Feel like they stole my personality in a large way. Also sex drive...
So recently I really just wanted off the strips. Very badly. I decided not to taper cause I just wanted off quickly. On March 3rd I went from taking 8mg a day to nothing. I never withdrawal from meds like anyone else I know. Once came off 1mg klonopin daily for 2 years with no withdrawals at all. Took 100s of MGs of oxy daily and never went into full withdrawal without it. Mainly just the mental parts from opiates. Like craving and depression.
Stopped taking March 3rd. First week I'm not sick at all. Just feel like an emotionless zombie. Very depressed and unmotivated to say the least. Second week very similar. Did not feel any physical withdrawals. In the last week or so I have been having bad diarrhea. I'm a month in right now. Can my sub withdrawals still be getting worse after one month???? Still crazy depressed and more unmotivated than I can explain.
I tried not to read much about Sub withdrawal before I came off. My mind can make things worse I think if I expect certain things to happen. I do know that sub withdrawal can last much longer than other traditional opiates. Yet I assumed the extended withdrawals were mainly mental. I am just now feeling sick after a whole month. Could that just be unrelated??? Truth be told even after my years of opiate use I have never went into full withdrawal so I don't even know what it feels like. Right now I would take the physical withdrawal over this mental shit in a second though. This is hell but not at all what I expected. I have felt suicidal and just emotionless. Keep waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel. I have gotten this far....
i recently got off of Suboxone and went straight to Morphine - about the 3rd week in I started having some symptoms, but they went away in a few days. I think you’re having the same and they will go away in a few days - May start up again and last shorter and shorter until they’re gone.
We’re here if you need to talk. You’re never alone. Sending my love and support!
Any other opinions would be greatly appreciated.... even if it's not what I "want" to hear.... kind of losing my mind... made a terrible decision and have been binge drinking lately.... which is apparently worse on my body than any "illegal" drug I have ever taken... I have done everything before but always kind of looked down on alcohol due to my family history... never drank before and alcoholism runs in my family.... also alcohol always was undrinkable to me before and would make me sick... not now though... what kind of fucked up shit is that???? I would rather it go back to just making me sick for my own good... Yet for some odd reason now alcohol doesn't effect me negatively after 37 fucking years!!!! I wish it did... before I would just get sick on the smallest amount of any alcohol.... with my addictive personality this will be the end of me... alcohol is worse than everything and I hate it!!!!
I think I need professional help and I'm running out of time.... I'm not myself.... I know nobody that would ever understand any of this for real.... I have NOBODY to talk to about this and am in a hell I see no logical good ending to... I shouldn't be alive now really.... any REAL advice that could possibly help me.... tell me the truth.... it's almost like I'm sublimally trying to kill myself.... yet I need to stay alive for my kids now....
Btw I will soon be in withdrawal from klonopin my sub doc prescribed.... currently 1mg a day.... I will pick up my last script of 45 1mg tablets soon.... I want off of everything as drugs have ruined who I was.... I have came off klonopin once before with no withdrawals at all... I am pretty sure I won't be so lucky this time after like 6-7 years of taking it daily... I was already beyond depressed before any of this.... now I am losing my mind... i never get to see my children due to their terrible mother..... they are my only motivation through this.... I can handle withdrawal I think.... it more seems to be that I picked the worse time ever to do this with already crippling depression.... seeking help sounds easy but I can't motivate myself to do the simplest thing.... I am a former hardcore drug addict and I can't even motivate myself to procure drugs that I know will make me feel better.... what's wrong with me?????? Please help me.... even typing this is a chore..... anyone who has been in a similar spot before???? I am alone and have nothing.... help me now and I will forever be in your debt...i don't meen to sound like a pussy... yet I at least at this moment feel like I would do anything to stay alive for my children... tell me something real!!!! Sorry if I sound like I'm being a bitch or morbid.... I do not care anymore...... help me...
The short answer is no, your withdrawal syndrome should not be continuing to worsen like this. It's out of the ordinary. But, it's pretty normal for the withdrawal syndrome to last a very long time and you might just be psyching yourself out.
It sounds like you are in withdrawal. I think it can come on harder. You say that you are loosing your mind.
I think the worst thing you could do would be to come off of clonazepam 1 mg a day right now.
Don't do it. That is dangerous stuff. You absolutely have to taper down the right way on benzodiazepines.
I think you should go back to the suboxone. Get yourself stabilized again.
The alcohol is a lot worse. You don't want to do that to your liver and internal organs.
Go to the doctor and ask for help. Life is too short to feel that bad for so long.
If you really want to do this, then do it the right way. You don't want to throw your body into shock and stuff.
You could cause some permeates damage.
I hope you feel better real soon. Take it slower.
May you re gain your balance.
Hugs
Thank you for replying to my post... truly... yet I have no money.... no insurance.... I cannot make myself do the simplest thing right now.... cannot afford to pay out of pocket right now for any doc.... much less my 180 a month sub doc and 300 dollar meds.... i woke up today feeling delirium I believe... yet I still have enough mind to realize it still... I am pretty sure I just chose the wrong time to do all this withdrawal stuff as I was already depressed more than I could ever explain... I pride myself on my intelligence and being logical yet I am making terrible decisions right now... I wish I had someone in my life currently that cared enough to see this and intervene but I do not... i would gladly admit myself in a psych ward right now but even that seems to be an impossible task currently... without insurance I'm not even sure they would take me anyways... truly feel alone and stuck... like actually alone... like to think I have a strong mind to overcome anything but this is different... this will not end good if I continue on the same path.... right now I am out of klonopin but cannot make myself go pick up my last script... I cannot make myself do anything and have NOBODY to make me.... just getting worse each and every day.... my mind is starting to slip also... I'm afraid it's about to be gone...
