L O V E L I F E
Bluelighter
In the past decade or so, I have figured out that it makes absolutely no sense for me to shave, shower, get dressed, coordinate a time, get directions to the theatre, drive to the theatre, find parking, stand on multiple lines, pay for tickets, pay a dollar per ounce for a soft drink I'll have to hold in my bladder for two hours, and then have to spend said two hours remaining in my seat, often inches away from a stranger I have no interest in sitting near, and while admittedly, said seat might be somewhat comfortable, it cannot possibly rival the comfort of being in my own bed or on my favorite couch with my feet up and three pillows behind my head, if I so desire.
And all the while, when I watch a movie from home, I am able to watch the exact same film (although, admittedly, sometimes seven or eight months later than I otherwise could have - and can you imagine the horrendous impact it would have had on my life if instead of having originally watched my all-time favorite movie when I did, that I would have instead watched it seven months later? Talk about a tragedy!), while not on a ten-thousand inch screen, on a crisp high definition surround sound 57-inch screen, and at the same time, be able to:
Take a piss without missing a scene;
Randomly slide my hand down my significant other's pants without risking being ejected from the theatre;
Smoke a cigarette, if I was so inclined;
Smoke something else, if I was so inclined;
Pause the movie for a few minutes, so that my viewing partners and I can share either a humorous or prescient take on the movie so far, or an anecdote that seems to fit at that particular juncture, without either missing part of the movie, or having all of the white people in the theatre get upset with us for talking during the movie;
Pause for an hour or two so we can enjoy an actual meal (as opposed to pounds of butter-soaked popcorn and jujubees) without missing any of the movie;
And a host of other conveniences one can obviously enjoy if one chooses to watch their movies from the comforts of their own home.
As far as counter-arguments, I can think of these:
Sometimes, it's nice to actually get out the house (and away from the kids, I would suppose);
The screen is bigger and the sounds effects are better;
The fact that by seeing a particular movie seven months earlier than if you waited for cable/satellite/dvd, you are now eligible for additional water-cooler conversation.
Also, there are many folks who can't afford an expensive television set, and I shall concede that the difference between watching a movie in a state of the art theatre and on a twenty year old 19-inch Zenith is enormous.
All of that said, I shall ask:
In this day and age, is it unreasonable for me to suggest, that unless I'm missing something, or unless my likes and dislikes are further from the norm than I suspect, that for the vast majority of people who can afford to live in a reasonably comfortable apartment or house and who own a reasonably good quality television . . .
. . . that this decision is a no-brainer . . .
. . . that I would expect that the vast majority of these people would think to themselves "you know what - times have changed . . . and in this day and age, it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever for me to ever go to the movies at the theatre?
Thoughts?
And all the while, when I watch a movie from home, I am able to watch the exact same film (although, admittedly, sometimes seven or eight months later than I otherwise could have - and can you imagine the horrendous impact it would have had on my life if instead of having originally watched my all-time favorite movie when I did, that I would have instead watched it seven months later? Talk about a tragedy!), while not on a ten-thousand inch screen, on a crisp high definition surround sound 57-inch screen, and at the same time, be able to:
Take a piss without missing a scene;
Randomly slide my hand down my significant other's pants without risking being ejected from the theatre;
Smoke a cigarette, if I was so inclined;
Smoke something else, if I was so inclined;
Pause the movie for a few minutes, so that my viewing partners and I can share either a humorous or prescient take on the movie so far, or an anecdote that seems to fit at that particular juncture, without either missing part of the movie, or having all of the white people in the theatre get upset with us for talking during the movie;
Pause for an hour or two so we can enjoy an actual meal (as opposed to pounds of butter-soaked popcorn and jujubees) without missing any of the movie;
And a host of other conveniences one can obviously enjoy if one chooses to watch their movies from the comforts of their own home.
As far as counter-arguments, I can think of these:
Sometimes, it's nice to actually get out the house (and away from the kids, I would suppose);
The screen is bigger and the sounds effects are better;
The fact that by seeing a particular movie seven months earlier than if you waited for cable/satellite/dvd, you are now eligible for additional water-cooler conversation.
Also, there are many folks who can't afford an expensive television set, and I shall concede that the difference between watching a movie in a state of the art theatre and on a twenty year old 19-inch Zenith is enormous.
All of that said, I shall ask:
In this day and age, is it unreasonable for me to suggest, that unless I'm missing something, or unless my likes and dislikes are further from the norm than I suspect, that for the vast majority of people who can afford to live in a reasonably comfortable apartment or house and who own a reasonably good quality television . . .
. . . that this decision is a no-brainer . . .
. . . that I would expect that the vast majority of these people would think to themselves "you know what - times have changed . . . and in this day and age, it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever for me to ever go to the movies at the theatre?
Thoughts?
