I totally agree with this. I've been on suboxone daily for 10 years now. I've really became more aware of this lately. I am not ok with it. I know exactly how you feel. I would like to read the book The Anhedonic Adaptation if I can get my hands on a copy. But I wanted to share with you a link that I've found helpful just recently.....
Hedonic adaptation or “the hedonic treadmill” are terms that define how people generally return to the same level of happiness despite their circumstances.
www.verywellmind.com
Wow, that means a lot to me that some can relate! 10 fucking years is a long time!
I bet you have a lot of insight on long term bupe. I'd definitely love to hear your experience.
I feel like my depression was incredibly relieved in the beginning on buprenorphine, but now a days it's worse. I don't know if I should blame the bupenorphine or not.
But I feel like I deal with more pain, pain sensitivity, anhedonia & less "excitement" (for a lack of a better term) in my life. Like I'm dulled down on an antipsyche med or something instead of an opioid.
Don't get me wrong, I love opioids & have found them the best tools in combating my depression issues, but the way bupe is designed to only activate receptors slightly while also having antagonistic properties AND a ceiling effect sounds like a horrible time in the long run. Basically trapped on a drug that makes you feel like crap if you take it or if you don't take it. lol With heroin & certain other opioids, you don't really run into this same problem. Sure you get tolerant to those too but your blood levels drop so much quicker that even when I had a tolerance, just dosing would bring back all the antidepressant effects I needed.
I'm very curious about this book, thank you
@Kellsee . Appreciate it.
I'd definitely love to hear more about how your experience on long term bupe has played out.
Has it fucked with your stomach at all too?
I'm going on about 5 years on it, maybe longer. At times I feel like my intestines don't even work anymore & I'm constantly tired & bored of everything around me.
I was much happier & productive on HEROIN & other opioids like tramadol (which I also took long term & it felt much cleaner & better than bupe at times) than I am on this super long acting half-assed shit that is blocking even my natural endorphins & dopamine, most likely.
I don't know why the US won't allow people to use other opioids for maintenance instead of just methadone or bupe. Or why it's so difficult to get on methadone & have to visit a clinic daily or you're fucked, yet a normal doctor can hand out as much fentanyl to any one else they want with no daily visits.