Does Addiction Go Away

[villian]

you conquered your addiction by buying another pill and using again? 8)

 

[8L4YN3]

Who has the answers? i know i dont. And i dont think anyone else does either. How to deal with ones addiction is personal preference. I dont care how many AA or NA meeting i attend, in the end, all i take from it ways OTHER people are dealing with their xyz addiction. It doesn't benefit me in any way, but again, that just me.

So i used a blue yesterday, 'testing myself', and let me say off the bat, it really wasn't that great. I mean hell, fuck yeah i felt good, i mean it is opiates, but the feeling wasn't good enough to throw my life away. Part of the reason i feel this way is because i woke up this morning with no withdrawl symptoms. Its like, the only reason toward the end of my addiction that i was using was just to dull the uncomfortable withdrawl symptoms so i could live a day pain free. Since i have kicked the physical part, and now its a mental game, yesterdays use really wasn't that rewarding. I realize now that it wasn't the feeling of being high that fueled my urge to use, it was to feel not sick and thats it. I am glad i used once more, i actually feel like i have conquered my addiction once and for all. However, now i am starting to get those 'i can use it once more' thoughts, which i knew would come. I just have to tell myself to fuck off.

Oh come on man, pull your head out of your ass. You're clearly justifying using again to yourself.

Almost like you think it's indeed a positive thing to do for your addiction as it is giving you some point of reference of which you can gain deeper insight into where you really are in terms of your addiction.

And also, another positive from using, might be that you feel that life isn't to be spent in fear of relapse into daily use.

But the truth is this state of mind can be acheived without 'proving' to yourself that you're able to not get hooked again, by using opiates recreationally again here and there...

And inevitably what happens after you dont relapse into daily use after a few uses is that you feel false sense of confidence that you are right now and delude yourself with shit like 'in the past i only used to not be sick' and what not. And think now that i'm not addicted physically i dont have any real reason to use the next day so i just wont... Slowly but surely the length of time between uses gets smaller as you get increasingly complacent... Until you realise whats happening, and you fix yourself up from this, or alternatively you end up back where you were before, probably much deeper than before.

You're lying to yourself mate.

 

[eldesperado]

I don't think most serious "addicts" continue to use drugs because it "feels good"(i.e. they just can't get over the euphoria, instant gratification...like a kid that can't stop eating candy or something)... I think they continue to use because it's a way of coping with deeper self-destructive tendencies that would be too difficult to deal with if they were sober... doing drugs is a way of hiding these feelings so you never have to deal with them... create a new "struggle"(i.e. the up's and down's of drug addiction)... and battle this "addiction" instead of dealing/battling with the deeper issue(which is inherently much more difficult)... maybe this goes back to an inability to cope with the world in some way as a kid growing up or something(when you were sober all the time)....granted we all have trouble coping one way or another... some people are just more sensitive to it then others.

So, to address the question, "Does addiction go away?"... Yes, once you realize you need to deal with the bigger issue... because you were never an "addict" to begin with.... the problem is... a lot of people develop a perverted, romantic attraction(and addiction) to just being addicted to drugs...and they become lost in a perpetual cycle of sobriety/use... and the promotion of the "victim" of "addiction" in AA/NA just helps to breed this nasty cycle(thus AA/NA and all the rest of em are truly unethical organizations).

Physical exercise should be mandatory, for young people at least, when dealing with post-addicts in a treatment setting... I don't know if any tests have been done, but once a new "habit" is developed(exercising/eating right).. it'll be hard to break... if you go back to doing drugs... on some level you'll feel guilty for breaking the workout habit(which is at least a healthy one to have).... and contrary to AA/NA meetings... a workout habit builds a "strong" sense of self(you overcome yourself physically and mentally each day/each new workout)... vs AA/NA where you're reminded of your "weak" self constantly.... Thus, when you break the workout habit(by using), you're literally breaking away at your "strong" self... and a new "weak" self is being imposed...which will feel like shit...because no one actually wants to feel weak/powerless.... unless, of course, if you're in AA/NA, where "weak" self tendencies are reinforced with the idea that you're a perpetual victim and powerless to the "struggle" of "addiction"(which isn't the root cause anyways...it's self-destructive tendencies at a deeper psychological level... where working out is literally a self-creating endeavor)...

Sorry for the rant, I'm just so sick of these people that say you're gonna be an addict for life... it's bullsh*t.

 

[adicabrady]

I had to respond to Scotty.I've had addiction problems for years.I remember times I would be clean for a month or two and figured I could do it just once.I would do it and not even want more the next day.So I would do more a week later and be OK.Sooner or later,I always wound up with a habit again.

The one thing I know about my addiction is that it is a tricksy bastard.Now I am not a heroin addict but a government supported addict.I do their legal drugs like Suboxone and Xanax.I am glad I don't wake up dope sick but I am still controlled by drugs.From reading Bluelight,I have finally seen how much my personality is dulled by the drugs.I am afraid to stop because of the withdrawal.

It does feel like a shame to me that I will probably die without ever really being truly me.

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

I say take drugs, and then leave em. If you want to do nothing in life and veg out and follow the well beaten path, what's wrong with taking drugs?
If you want to do something remarkable, be sober and fully in your own mind in order to maximize your productivity and mental capabilities.
I can't stand AA because of how much they focus on alcohol and how much they focus on their problems.
Why can't people focus on the good things in life and talk about those?
I spoke up in AA, but I felt like I was reading an unwritten script. It's phony. I wonder how many other people contribute to this phoniness just out of mob psychology? The Big Book was lame an unimpressive, and I hate talking to addicts who just repeat unscientific and cliched bullshit. I definitely don't think addicts are experts in addiction just because they were addicts. I'd rather go to a comic book convention to be honest. At least they're living life!

We're all just ticking away time here on this earth it seems ridiculously unnecessary to attribute all of your life's woes to one problem, and one problem only, and then focusing on the mistakes you made when you were dumb and in your teens and twenties for the rest of your life.
They say you are dying if you are an addict, well you're dying either way.
Time is the most valuable thing, not the number, but the experience. What have you done in your 2 years, or whatever, of sobriety? Not take in any stigmatized chemicals? Cool, what else? That's all that matters to me.
If you're just gonna laze around and work a job that provided the bare minimum for life then why not get high?
AA is a room full of the living dead as far as I'm concerned. They have no groove, they're all technique, to use my musical background. (Groove being the "why" technique being the "how") That's why I feel so frustrated at the pitifully inadequate methods of treating addictions in our society. An addict like me has to carve out my own path whereas most people just follow well paved roads. That's why relapse is so common.
Well actually there are plenty of addiction treatment programs, they just go by different names. Schools, highly engaging careers, hobbies, music, friends who you partake in these hobbies with. Etc.
DBT or CBT is really cool.
I wish there was something like AA where people are all about getting together and giving out their phone numbers just to talk and hang out, but without all the AA dogma-smegma.
I hope I'm not sounding harsh to anyone. I just read that Peele article and all of it was stuff that I thought about on my own before and struck me as just complete common sense.
People HAVE control over their own choices and addictions, but their predilection for certain chemicals may never go away. So what?

 

[sHR00m]

you can try

ok. it just seemed you hit the nail on the head with me. for me anyway, i want to go out and use a not so hardcore opiate, maybe lick a couple percs, just so i dont fear them anymore. I will NEVER allow myself to fall back into addiction. I have since turned my life around. I am back in college, i am losing weight and working out at the gym 4 to 5 days a week, eating healthier, sleeping better, starting to garner trust back from my family inch by inch. I have too much good goin for me now to just become full out addict again. With that being said, i cannot live in fear of not being able to leave my home due to drugs being everywhere (they really are everywhere dude). i have mad up my mind to use once more. A friend had a few blues and i am gonna take one and have that be the end of it. If i feel hard fucking cravings the next day and cave and get another one, well rehab here i come. If i can fight it and not use again for an indefinite amount of time, for instance like not use for 5 months, then i know i am now strong enough to say 'fuck you' to my addiction and will no longer live in fear of relapse. This way i will know for sure how strong i am exactly. This may sound like an addicts excuse to get high, and it may be, but i will benefit from the experience. I cant be afraid to test myself ya know? at 23 years old, i still havent really figured myself out all the way.

addiction isnt the only thing you should be worried about with opiates. its the change in moral perception (dam if i steal this, i can have a really good evening), the lack of interest (ah... no i stay in bed today, fuck class.), maybe loss of friends and job because of this and many other drawbacks. it has the ability to mess with your head and fuck with your live. of course it really starts to get "fun", when an addiction developes as well.

and btw. to my eyes using a softer opiate have a bigger tendency of underestimating them. especially you, who have proven to fail on them. not that i blame you. some substances just have too much drawbacks to fight them all. opiates are dangerous, on many levels. period.

 

[cire113]

addiction is a disease definetly because it caues biophysiological changes in the brain..

addiction deals with genetics, your environment, and many other factors... but the main problem is how it the brain gets rewired... certain people are predisposed to this genetically.

To the OP... dude your only 20 and you been using for 3 years.. Do not give up and think you need suboxone for life...

Addiction is a lifelong disease for sure...

 

[sHR00m]

true. its a biochemical thing. so are a lot of factors in life. you could call every big problem a disease but it will hardly be accurate. the scientist whos team encrypted the human gene pool himself said that genetic disposition doesnt mean shit. he was truly disappointed how less it really tells us about ourselves. and especially with psychological addiction, the main factor is you believing into yourself. sorting out the problems which led into this and then it might go well, alot of it is just in your head. and intensity truly varies in how you are willing to deal with it. despite all genes against you. of course some drugs have a strong tendency getting you hooked anyway.

genetica are really not that big of a deal. its 3% here, 2% there. nothing compared to other factors in life. question is: is the person able to change his behaviour or not. and why should that be called a disease. people who have food addiction have to learn to eat in a normal manner too. they cant just quit. a therapy is a dogma. if you follow the rules it might work. if it works, fine. but it doesnt mean that its the only way to deal with it. i kinda understand charly sheen. lol

 

[phactor]

I like SMART way more than AA. But what I am for is whatever works.

I'm not sure if it stays forever. I have seen people take time off, and go back to the occasional puff and drink. I have also seen people relapse and be totally fucked by the end of the first week.

 

[chitown rollin]

I agree with Eye. he/she is also an addiction specialist so I would say there is a lot of validity in what they are saying. being in a rehab program at the moment I have a lot of respect for Eye saying that it will go away and that there is other things besides AA. I get so sick and tired of the whole 'disease' thing and people telling me that addiction will never go away. I have been clean around 50 days and though that may not be a long time I experience NO cravings. IMO if you keep on telling yourself that you're an addict it's always going to be tucked in the back of your mind. I dont know about you guys but if I kept thinking about drugs in the back of my mind I would end up getting sad or mad one day and saying something to myself like 'well I'm an addict anyways I guess this is what I am supposed to be doing' lol ... and relapse.

 

[TINK]

This is strickly my personal experience. I started taking opiates at 14. Was hardcore addicted for over 8 years, have been clean for almost 5 years. I don't crave them at all. In fact I have to have surgery and I am extremely nervous about how I am going to deal with the pain. I think everyone has a "reaction" to different things, for me it was opiates for others its weed or meth or whatever. I have not relapse simply because I don't want to be that person again. My life and my health are so much better now and I don't want to go back. But, like I said that is just me. And, that didn't happen over night.