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Doctors who use are sometimes better doctors?

You are so right about the rehabs being against methadone. The most recent facility I was in did the same thing.

They told me I could stay there and do it right because my only other option was a terrible life going nowhere stuck on methadone.

Well I went on methadone and it’s been the best thing I could have done for myself. I’m still using and it’s not perfect but I’m actually holding down a good job and not scheming, cheating, and stealing all day long which is so unsustainable.

I’ve been on it (and employed) for over 2 years. I don’t see dependence to a drug in and of itself to be a bad thing.

I am seriously worried though about “something happening and not being able to get my dose.

Something like a major earthquake here in sf or something.
 
justdifferent said:
To make my point I'll have to generalise a bit, and would like to emphasise that of course there's plenty of doctors who are addicts or just users.
That aside, at least in Australia, there's an increasingly witless ideology - especially with younger doctors. One example is the notion that the best doctors are personally naive -as in inexperienced - about both addiction and recreational use of habit forming meds. This is meant to make them the most responsible prescribers, mysteriously. So they'll blithely dispense all manner of mind altering drugs - especially anti-depressants, and of course anything that's "new" is always heavily pushed. They idiotically rely on marketing "information" - ie can't distinguish an advertisement from an impartial study. They're big on power trips, and just tune out when interacting with addictive patients, as if addiction was definitely not an illness, but a moral failure.
Eg: right now I'm meant to "weaning" off Tapentadol. They've been giving me Tapentadol like lollies for weeks and just REFUSE to discuss symptoms I may have, or even suggest non-chemical ways of making it easier.
The pain specialist who treated me for bad shoulder fracture two years ago had a strategy of a few days on oxy, then a few days on Bupenorphine, then back to oxy if I was still in a bad way, then Tapentadol, then bupe again...my pain was very well-managed and I found I had no significant w/ds. He'd evidently put some thought into managing pain without establishing a physical dependence.

Anyway, I'd be glad to from people who've used Tapentadol long term (ie over months) and how they went with w/d. Or even users who haven't w/d yet.
Online I've read of very spooky w/d symptoms like Restless Leg Syndrome, "rigors" (shivering?)
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well, my personal doctor whos given me high-dose opiates to manage chronic pain, aswell as stimulants, and benzos grew up in the hippy-era, and always inquired about anything new to my regimen, he knew about my heavy-crack use which he reluctantly disregarded due to me using that over heroin to substitute the fact that he couldn't prescribe me anything more than i am already on, but these younger doctors i find are fast to dispense non-narcotic medications that have recreational value, just to avoid having to write the narcotic script which really pisses me off, its as if anyone given a narcotic will not use it appropriately which i'm at the very least able to say, as an opiate-dependent user of high-dose multiple opioids/opiates daily that i've very rarely used my pain medications in pursuit of a high because i don't see the value in wasting pain medications but that doesn't go to say i dont realize the recreational value is there

The real 'better' doctors have probably experienced and know what theyre dispensing to a certain degree and will prescribe what they feel is appropriate based on clinical or personal experience, it's best you find a middle aged doctor that you don't need to worry is going to retire, that gives you atleast what you absolutely require and stick with them.

Doctors are increasingly becoming paranoid of writing narcotic scripts which is beyond fucking stupid, i'd bet that maybe 2/10ths if even use what they absolutely need in an innappropriate manner, but when one has excess, ofcourse the options open for what to do with the excess but that doesn't really matter because there always will be someone diverting somewhere somehow whether its a stimulant, benzo, opioid, Doctors should be better educated on how to get to know a patient so that they can prescribe narcotics without worry, i had zero problems discussing my cocaine usage or any other use of drugs along with what i was prescribed because i trusted my doctor never to cut me off, and if he were to instruct me not to do somthing, you better believe id follow those instructions to the letter.
 
At least 88-97 per cent of the volume of diversion and especially that hitting the clandestine and semi-clandestine supply chains is by pharmacists, wholesalers, importers, exporters, and manufacturers, as well as government inspectors and compliance officers -- that is just economics and Production & Inventory Control 301 -- the margin of uncertainty is that a lot of pharmacy burglaries are considered if not top secret at least the equivalent of restricted or confidential -- the cops and DEA use the same obscurantist approach they do with all information about opium for fear of giving people ideas, like the people going around the country opening up a pharmacy in a storefront, ordering the inventory, then loading up a lorry or van the Sunday night before opening and splitting. Since it is in the dead of night, they really are not riding off into the sunset.

There is no way individual patients without massive co-ordination could divert enough of the stuff. Any patient "scamming" them has at least a semi-legitimate use for it like hoarding against future problems or helping a friend or family member.

But when the amount dispensed annually all through the USA drops by 40 per cent in six or seven years and all this poison takes some of its place, we all know that the DEA Office of Diversion Control and everyone else can control things pretty well and just opt not to, for whatever reason. It is, of course, to get more business for rehab, private prisons, and government-run prisons. Then there are the demented few looking the other way or worse about the fentanyl and shit.

Ever wonder why the prison personnel unions are against any kind of drugs legalisation? Not to mention all the people getting fame and fortune and power from slav . . . er, I mean drugs and alcohol rehabilitation?

I used to get such a kick out of going through customs & excise in the US landing from Europe with an 89-day personal-use supply of nicomorphine, dihydromorphine, and/or dextromoramide, all Schedule I . . . all legal so fuck you DEA
 
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Quere said:
Yeah the US decided to 'help' the rest of the world, not by asking other countries what they could do to help and then providing it but by enforcing their terrible puritanical rules on everyone else (it doesn't matter whether they want it or not, because we know best!!!).

The thing I can't stand about abstinence based philosophies is the fact that they can't play nicely with anyone else, just like medieval christians, they are the one true truth and anyone who doesn't believe what we do is a heretic!

When I was in one of these awful fucking 12 step rehabs, we'd be sitting in our 'therapy group' and it comes to my turn to talk:

I don't think I can cope with life off opioids, if there was some gear in front of me I would do it for sure.

Well then we can't do anything for you, why don't you just go out and relapse if opioids are so great. You'll go straight back to how you were, You'll be in the gutter with a needle in your arm within 48 hrs!!!

Ohhhkay. Well, I highly doubt that I would instantly go from fine to in a gutter just because of the administration of an opioid...
I mean I was addicted to opioids because they were fun and allowed me to function by reducing my depression and anxiety to tolerable levels not because they make me black out and wake up in gutters..
But anyway there's this thing called maintenance treatment with buprenorphine or methadone, I feel like I would do much better in such a programme and you guys keep saying you can't do anything for me.

(The whole room murmurs and chuckles smugly as though they've heard this a thousand times and only an idiot would see any kind of future in maintenance treatment.)

Just go out and use!!!

But surely being administered opioids under medical supervision would be a much better option than if i 'just go out and use'?

Everyone who goes on methadone stays on it forever and they all live together in shitty flats and inject their methadone and still do illegal opioids and none of them have jobs or achieve anything in life, is that what you want??!!! (This was the unilateral consensus of what awaited me if I went on maintenance treatment, they had to save me from the unthinkable, getting 'tricked by my inner addiction' into a lifetime of methadone addiction, unemployment and inevitably homelessness)

And here I am thinking, wow they really hate methadone! This doesn't really tally with all the medical information and research I've read on the effectiveness of maintenance treatment! Where do they get this terrible impression? What I realised is all these people had met methadone patients but what they failed notice was how they came into contact with these methadone patients. Of course they all met while using drugs, what business would a methadone patient who responded well to treatment - got a job, quit using - have hanging out with using drug addicts? None, so it stands to reason that all the methadone patients they had been exposed to were the minority, the ones for whom methadone treatment had not been particularly effective, who were still using drugs, unemployed etc

Confirmation bias anyone?

Being the self assured drug geek I am, I trusted my own research over their hysterical prophesies of doom at the hands of "the liquid cuffs"!!!!!!

And boy am I glad I did because all their rhetoric turned out to be nothing more than stigma and ignorance and maintenance treatment has been a game changer for me over the years.

But yeah my experience of 12 step organisations was that they prop up their extremely poor success rates in pretty much all empirical data by branding every alternative (and actually effective treatments) as 'not real recovery' or 'trading one addiction for another' and when their programme fails someone (like with me) they put the blame on the patient, because the programme is infallible!!! As they say in AA/NA "if the programme's not working.. it's because you're not working the programme!!!"
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What I have been reading about alcohol rehabilitation, much of it propaganda of course, is a tangled mess when it comes to relapse rates and so forth, but I get the impression it is well north of 80 per cent, and one statistic I have heard is that 2 per cent of people who go into rehab for it get off and stay off and are unscathed, with about 4 per cent staying off but having to deal with organic CNS damage -- which can be caused by chronic intoxication and circumstances causing malnutrition, but also the abstinence syndrome. Naturally, being made desperate enough to drink Sterno, hand sanitiser, hair-spray, Aqua Velva, mouthwash and rubbing alcohol and eat shoe polish is not healthy.

With narcotics the relapse rate for morphine, and heroin which is a more efficient delivery system for morphine, is commonly reported as 98 per cent and maybe it is even higher. I am guessing that the lowest relapse rate is probably around 50 per cent for pethidine, which is very unhealthy especially for the nervous system when used continuously and at high doses. But I have to wonder if single-agent or predominant pethidine addicts are at all common. I would be surprised to hear there are 1000 in all of Europe and 200 in the States . . .

The thing is, when supply-chain problems are obviated, it is actually very hard to detect even someone in the equivalent of the One Gramme Club on morphine and if anything a stabilised narcotic user -- who in the case of someone on maintenance is taking narcotics for medicinal reasons under doctors' supervision just like chronic pain people -- are less inclined to crime than the general population because of the sedative, euphoriant, and empathogenic effects of narcotics, and they have a motivating effect as well. Also there is the low toxicity of morphine and its derivatives especially, which, as I have said before, people can be on -- and at a fairly steady dose -- for decades to just over a century, like a bunch of famous doctors, surgeons, and scientists I have mentioned in other threads, my own grandfather on morphine for almost 70 years, and a neighbour on it for just under 102 years before dying of old age and in very good health. They also looked young for their age, as people say I do as well after being on narcotics for several decades.
 
HoldBack said:
You are so right about the rehabs being against methadone. The most recent facility I was in did the same thing.

They told me I could stay there and do it right because my only other option was a terrible life going nowhere stuck on methadone.

Well I went on methadone and it’s been the best thing I could have done for myself. I’m still using and it’s not perfect but I’m actually holding down a good job and not scheming, cheating, and stealing all day long which is so unsustainable.

I’ve been on it (and employed) for over 2 years. I don’t see dependence to a drug in and of itself to be a bad thing.

I am seriously worried though about “something happening and not being able to get my dose.

Something like a major earthquake here in sf or something.
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I have been on methadone for 10 years and while it was great for maintenence , I too was scared of something happening and not being able to get my dose and I have quit going to the clinic and its been over a year ,so you also must keep in mind that the w/d is something fierce and doesnt go away in a week. I have been struggling for the year I have quit methadone, and it is very hard for myself and it is taking everything I have in me to not go back to the clinic simply I am scared of not being able to get my dose and going through that w/d . I have tried suboxone and it is not working for me. I really wish I could just get a low dose of clonipin for a few months and see if that will help me any. But I just wanted to tell you to factor in that methadone has a half life ,and the longer you take it the worse it will be to get off of it.
 
Nicomorphinist said:
What I have been reading about alcohol rehabilitation, much of it propaganda of course, is a tangled mess when it comes to relapse rates and so forth, but I get the impression it is well north of 80 per cent, and one statistic I have heard is that 2 per cent of people who go into rehab for it get off and stay off and are unscathed, with about 4 per cent staying off but having to deal with organic CNS damage -- which can be caused by chronic intoxication and circumstances causing malnutrition, but also the abstinence syndrome. Naturally, being made desperate enough to drink Sterno, hand sanitiser, hair-spray, Aqua Velva, mouthwash and rubbing alcohol and eat shoe polish is not healthy.

With narcotics the relapse rate for morphine, and heroin which is a more efficient delivery system for morphine, is commonly reported as 98 per cent and maybe it is even higher. I am guessing that the lowest relapse rate is probably around 50 per cent for pethidine, which is very unhealthy especially for the nervous system when used continuously and at high doses. But I have to wonder if single-agent or predominant pethidine addicts are at all common. I would be surprised to hear there are 1000 in all of Europe and 200 in the States . . .

The thing is, when supply-chain problems are obviated, it is actually very hard to detect even someone in the equivalent of the One Gramme Club on morphine and if anything a stabilised narcotic user -- who in the case of someone on maintenance is taking narcotics for medicinal reasons under doctors' supervision just like chronic pain people -- are less inclined to crime than the general population because of the sedative, euphoriant, and empathogenic effects of narcotics, and they have a mbyotivating effect as well. Also there is the low toxicity of morphine and its derivatives especially, which, as I have said before, people can be on -- and at a fairly steady dose -- for decades to just over a century, like a bunch of famous doctors, surgeons, and scientists I have mentioned in other threads, my own grandfather on morphine for almost 70 years, and a neighbour on it for just under 102 years before dying of old age and in very good health. They also looked young for their age, as people say I do as well after being on narcotics for several decades.
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Yeah the idea of a person being specifically and consistently dependent on pethidine seems rather unlikely, I had heard back in the day, Dr's would sometimes develop pethidine addictions as it was easier to get away with prescribing than morphine etc.

Over here I've only heard mention of pethidine use from two oldschool homebake heroin cooks I knew and they said they only used it when they couldn't get anthing else

The truth is 90% of what society sees as opioid addiction is just the negative consequences of our crappy attempts to get rid of them
 
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Quere said:
Yeah the idea of a person being specifically and consistently dependent on pethidine seems rather unlikely, I had heard back in the day, Dr's would sometimes develop pethidine addictions as it was easier to get away with prescribing than morphine etc.

Over here I've only heard mention of pethidine use from two oldschool homebake heroin cooks I knew and they said they only used it when they couldn't get anthing else

The truth is 90% of what society sees as opioid addiction is just the negative consequences of our crappy attempts to get rid of them
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and what do a lot of these people know about it anyways -- 95 per cent of the population will never see a sample of heroin first-hand, probably 98 per cent do not know its chemical name and relation to morphine, and know even less about hydrocodone and morphine and other medicinal narcotics, and it is obvious from how easily the lies spread by the rehab gangsters and prohibition types that the state of science and medical knowledge in the general population is worse than abysmal . . . the bit about three-quarters of heroin habits starting with a narcotic prescription is the most egregious -- I know there was not a methodologically-sound experiment, or any experiment, done to get that figure, and with all the teeth being pulled out, injuries, surgery, dry coughs and everything, the large absolute quantities of narcotics used in the US mean that probably 75 per cent of the population as a whole has received a narcotic script at some point. And they throw out that statistic about most of the world production being used by the US and a few other countries -- well, ask the chronic pain people and people with physical war injuries not being treated properly, plus those who have found out the ancient truth about how well narcotics work against anxiety, panic disorders, and depression inter alia, amongst other people how much "over-prescribing" there is . . . the truth is that there is nowhere near enough for medical uses around the world, and the truly sane countries like Switzerland, Austria, the Scandinavian countries, the Netherlands &c are tiny population-wise, and Canada is small too, so of course they won't show up in that execrable lie of a statistic --

"There are three types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics"
-- Mrs Pontius Pilate, April 33 AD
 
The really bad news about all this, as we can see from this thread, is that when the gangsters and Jim Jones types and corrupt government officials and academics and co-opted doctors exhaust narcotics* as a bogey-person, they need another target to keep rehab and gaols and prisons full and the dough rolling in, and that target is going to be benzodiazepines. The big lie about the Fatal Three or whatever (narcotics + benzodiazepines + carisoprodol) is already about two to eight years old I think.

---
* Or will there ever be such a day? Part of this is the fault of the citizenry for swallowing the lies so readily, and think of how many people you probably know who for some reason get annoyed or worse with people who are nice and sweet and co-operative and get along with everybody -- it is not just the powers that be which benefit from people fighting with one another who don't like what narcotics do to people.
 
I imagine they would be more *sympathetic* doctors to patients on pain meds or anxiety meds etc.
My G.P had his home broken into as a teenager and his parents and sister were killed. He (obviously) suffered PTSD and panic attacks afterwards and became addicted to diazepam and other benzodiazepines in the 1970's. I think this is a BIG part of why he put up with so much bullshit from me and would issue me early scripts when I "lost a strip" and continued to prescribe my oxy and lorazepam even when my dad TOLD HIM I was also buying my own stuff online and sometimes shooting up my pills.

He did eventually stop me, but he gave me a 24 hour supply (of the amount I TOOK, not what I was prescribed) and got me a place detoxing in a methadone clinic literally the next morning. I really don't deserve him.
 
I read recently that 20 per cent of doctors, nurses, veterinarians, and dentists are narcotics addicts, which would apparently be essentially unchanged from 1900 . . . my experience is that the morphinist and hydromorphone-addict doctors are saints and the nurses can either be that, or they can be like the one in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest . . . especially if they are running into trouble themselves. They want to spread the misery. One of them who tried to make trouble for all of us pain patients wound up getting sacked over the shit she would pull, a lot of it dealing with Hippa violations like discussing patients' cases in the waiting room and the corridor and commissary and other places. Lying to the doctor and relaying false and garbled information to patients was a big part of it too, and given that some of the patients were on benzodiazepines, carisoprodol, sodium oxybate (the CSA Schedule III medical version of Grievous Bodily Harm, Georgia Home Boy) or barbiturates, it could have had particularly serious results.

Whereas the general practitioner I had who was a habitué for medical reasons for 40 years at the time kept me on a longer and longer leash, payed close enough attention to how well the medications were working to discern the need for a dose increase and take the initiative to suggest it, and actually came up with the idea of writing for 20 per cent more than I needed each month so I could start building up a hoard in case I could only find what she called "Chekist and douche-bag doctors" when she retired in three or four years time, because that was the beginning of the fake opioid cri$i$. Indeed that is what happened, so when it came time to find another doctor and things began to go pear-shaped, I just decided not to go back to the US the next time I went back to Austria . . . She got a call from the inspectors once about my large hydromorphone prescriptions, but she gave them copies of over a thousand pages of medical records and some salty commentary and never heard from them again. Goddamn junior detective wannabe flatfoots.

There are probably addicted and habituated pharmacists too, of course. What I wonder is how many lorry drivers, warehouse people, production schedulers, quality assurance people, and others at factories where they make the medicine are in the same boat.

Since it is used to make a bunch of other semi-synthetic narcotics like dihydrocodeine, hydrocodone, hydromorphone, and can be changed back into thebaine rather easily and may be cost-effective in some cases for certain batch sizes of certain products, the United States DEA assigns one of the biggest annual national aggregate manufacturing/import quotas for a Schedule I substance to dihydromorphine, on the order of multiple metric tons . . . but I have never heard of it being found by the cops anywhere nor in the publications of the DEA where they list what they have found. So I assume this wonderful painkiller, which is better than morphine in a lot of respects, must be consumed in-house to the extent that some people are eating the mistakes so to speak. At some point it is distributed in 100-kilo barrels just like any other bulk chemical. I once saw someone accidentally run into a barrel of ascorbic acid with a forklift at what must have been 20 km/h and the thing essentially exploded and the powder went all over tarnation as the incident report stated. The driver looked like a snowman.

By the way, are there any photography experts here who know why the reports that list the quotas for each year and who gets them show that Eastman Kodak uses E and 4-methylaminorex in manufacturing?
 
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ChemicallyEnhanced said:
I imagine they would be more *sympathetic* doctors to patients on pain meds or anxiety meds etc.
My G.P had his home broken into as a teenager and his parents and sister were killed. He (obviously) suffered PTSD and panic attacks afterwards and became addicted to diazepam and other benzodiazepines in the 1970's. I think this is a BIG part of why he put up with so much bullshit from me and would issue me early scripts when I "lost a strip" and continued to prescribe my oxy and lorazepam even when my dad TOLD HIM I was also buying my own stuff online and sometimes shooting up my pills.

He did eventually stop me, but he gave me a 24 hour supply (of the amount I TOOK, not what I was prescribed) and got me a place detoxing in a methadone clinic literally the next morning. I really don't deserve him.
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OMG he sounds like a seriously awesome Dr. We really need more Drs with that level of compassion.

That's really horrible what happened to his family though :( and what happened to him as a result :(
 
Quere said:
OMG he sounds like a seriously awesome Dr. We really need more Drs with that level of compassion.

That's really horrible what happened to his family though :( and what happened to him as a result :(
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He amazing. Any other doctor would have asked me to leave and register elsewhere dozens of times by now. He's even called me on weekends when I've been really ill to see how I am because he was genuinely concerned. He's actually came to my house on evenings and weekends too when he's started thinking I should be in hospital or something.
Actually, having thought about him now, I'm gonna tell him how grateful I am and let him know it means a lot to me. I always get him something for Christmas - like a nice bottle of wine or something - and thank him for all he's done for me etc, but I think I'm gonna make sure he knows next time I see him.

Yeah, it's a horrible, horrible thing to happen. Especially to such an amazing person.
 
Clinicians tend to be simplistic about clinical practice. Their tendency toward positivistic scientism and atheoretical pragmatism discourages attempts to understand illness and care as embedded in the social and cultural world. Their reliance on ‘common sense’ often masks ignorance of relevant behavioural and social science concepts that should be part of the foundation of clinical science and practice. This is the reason social science needs to be brought into medicine and psychiatry as a clinically applied science that systematically analyzes the clinically relevant effects of sociocultural determinants on sickness and care.
 
justdifferent said:
Clinicians tend to be simplistic about clinical practice. Their tendency toward positivistic scientism and atheoretical pragmatism discourages attempts to understand illness and care as embedded in the social and cultural world. Their reliance on ‘common sense’ often masks ignorance of relevant behavioural and social science concepts that should be part of the foundation of clinical science and practice. This is the reason social science needs to be brought into medicine and psychiatry as a clinically applied science that systematically analyzes the clinically relevant effects of sociocultural determinants on sickness and care.
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Btw I didn't write this -is a quote from a medical journal I just stumbled across but thought very pertinent to the problems I've had with doctors. To put it simply, the "common sense" attitude most of them have not only makes them incurious about the "why" of addiction/using, but also there's this "just snap out of it" attitude - the "commonsensical solution to addiction. Mostly affluent, they often can't grasp poverty, despite all this common sense. Eg recently when discharged from hospital, I literally could not get a doctor to accept the fact that I didn't have a bus fare, nor anyone who could breezily deposit cab fare in my account (or at least no-one except my Dad, who would usually greets requests for help with money with depressing verbal abuse that makes it not worth the pain...)
Further, most doctors really do think they are moral guardians; they take on a role formerly occupied by priests. For eg, a priest might say "just take it on faith" and discourage parishioner's asking questions such as "why is it wrong to have sex with out being married?". At best you'll get a grumpy a answer like " because sex is not for fun but for making babies"....likewise you can't explai to a doctor that you would rather use painkillers to help a mood disorder than anti-depressants without getting morally reproached. Because painkillers are for pain only. Why? Because I say so....
 
HoldBack said:
You are so right about the rehabs being against methadone. The most recent facility I was in did the same thing.

They told me I could stay there and do it right because my only other option was a terrible life going nowhere stuck on methadone.

Well I went on methadone and it’s been the best thing I could have done for myself. I’m still using and it’s not perfect but I’m actually holding down a good job and not scheming, cheating, and stealing all day long which is so unsustainable.

I’ve been on it (and employed) for over 2 years. I don’t see dependence to a drug in and of itself to be a bad thing.

I am seriously worried though about “something happening and not being able to get my dose.

Something like a major earthquake here in sf or something.

Clinicians tend to be simplistic about clinical practice. Their tendency toward positivistic scientism and atheoretical pragmatism discourages attempts to understand illness and care as embedded in the social and cultural world. Their reliance on ‘common sense’ often masks ignorance of relevant behavioural and social science concepts that should be part of the foundation of clinical science and practice. This is the reason social science needs to be brought into medicine and psychiatry as a clinically applied science that systematically analyzes the clinically relevant effects of sociocultural determinants on sickness and care.
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Just came uote from medical journal:
 
ChemicallyEnhanced said:
He amazing. Any other doctor would have asked me to leave and register elsewhere dozens of times by now. He's even called me on weekends when I've been really ill to see how I am because he was genuinely concerned. He's actually came to my house on evenings and weekends too when he's started thinking I should be in hospital or something.
Actually, having thought about him now, I'm gonna tell him how grateful I am and let him know it means a lot to me. I always get him something for Christmas - like a nice bottle of wine or something - and thank him for all he's done for me etc, but I think I'm gonna make sure he knows next time I see him.

Yeah, it's a horrible, horrible thing to happen. Especially to such an amazing person.
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Yeah you should let him know for sure man. That reminds me I needa get me psychologist something for Christmas this year, she's been treating me for free for like 2 years and my partner at a reduced rate cause she knows we're poor. Even when I got some part time work at the start of this year for the first time in a decade she wanted me to keep the money so I had positive reinforcement for working, and she always gets me thoughtful Christmas presents in addition to giving us vouchers for the supermarket at Christmas. Some people are just surprisingly awesome I guess :)
 
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