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Benzos Doctor didn't re-fill Valium on me and I'm out all weekend, what should I do?

BourbonMac

BourbonMac

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 14, 2022
Messages
1,266
I take 15-17.5mg a night depending on anxiety levels, even sometimes 20. I got careless lately because I was having severe abdominal pain for days and if I'd just kept it at 15mg like I should've I'd have enough to last at least until Sunday. I won't be able to get it re-filled until Monday. I sent in the re-fill request Wednesday when it was eligible and even called the office today which I usually do on Friday to make sure he fills it and he didn't and ignored everything else I've had to say going on with my health.

I've had an ok relationship with him but as time goes on he's seeming like an increasing weirdo. He tried to cold turkey me off gabapentin months back, I kept fighting against it telling him that's a bad idea, and he did this to me with Valium last July. I'd been on it for 6 months though, I went back on it after not too long and have been on it ever since so my risk of withdrawal is higher and I'm not really sure what to expect. My anxiety is through the roof lately due to a lot of things and I could use it more than ever. I could take extra gabapentin, I also have phenibut capsules and some kava but I'm not sure if any of these would reduce the risk of a potential seizure come Sunday or something. I just can't believe this shit, I called, they said yeah we'll have him send that out for you and he didn't. I think he did this on purpose, really, but I don't know. It did seem busy but to forget something like this is a huge fuckup.

One of the strange things is that he keeps trying to get me to go to this local sauna/steam room thing because hot showers help with my crippling tinnitus, he talks about it constantly and has gone as far as to say "maybe we'll cross paths" or "you may see nude men in there" and that's just... idk man, idk. He's shown signs of basically coming onto me for awhile now and he gradually kept telling me about the steam room until eventually being outright "I'll be here on X day on X time" as if that's supposed to make me want to go. He always was a little touchey feely during physicals... friends of mine who saw him also noted the same thing. I don't mind if he's gay but this is too much. That aside I'm just pissed he's ignored everything I had to say otherwise about my health lately. Stomach pains, chronic headaches, worsening tinnitus. It's like none of it matters to him anymore because I don't want to go to the steam room.

But yeah... I don't know if kava is a good substitute for valium at the moment. I did clean my aluball thing out which was quite moldy from sitting full for months but there appear to be remnants of old dry kava, I took a toothbrush to it the best I could but it seems just stained. I don't see myself sleeping very well the next few nights. Phenibut I know is more similar to gabapentin and I generally don't really like it, I loved it last December but one day I was like nah this drug is too inconvenient, takes too long to work and makes me feel like shit the next day. I'm aware it's a bit more similar to a benzo than gabapentin though, but even kava and benzos both work on gaba-A? I forget if it's A or B...
 
Dude sounds like you can give your doctor a handjob and get any fucking script on the planet.

I’m straight and would kill to meet a doctor like that and probably do whatever he wanted to lock up my dream scripts.

Anyways you ALWAYS have a back up emergency supply of a drug youre dependent on. You never tap into that back up supply.

Sounds like you’re gonna have to break the law . Test for fent and be safe
 
No way I'm going to the streets for this, I don't even know anyone who sell anything hard.
But yeah, you're probably right, but he's super ignorant about a lot of drugs. "Oh this doesn't have withdrawals" he'd say with literally every antidepressant that I took.

So CVS is like... oh yeah, we got a request but we didn't hear back from your doctor. Fuck this guy. He's witnessing me in a tremendous mental crisis and he really decides "oh I won't fill it this time, let's see what happens" but yeah you're right, I should've stuck with 15. I just couldn't help it when I had nights of intense abdominal pain and valium is the only thing that helps when it gets that bad and I have a bit of tolerance so I'd take 20mg on those nights.
 
Well I actually have one 5mg left. I guess I'll do cimetidine and 2.5 for the next 2 days and just have none on Sunday. This should increase the half-life and I do have gabapentin, L-theanine, valerian root, kratom, weed. I should be OK... I can't believe I overreacted this much. My knuckle is fucking destroyed. I don't think it's actually broken but I broke a blood vessel to the point where it's golf ball sized. Work will be rough tomorrow, at least I have 3 days off after, but I'd already partially chipped bone off this knuckle so I don't imagine the healing process will be great. It's been a frustrating year... lots of self-harm which I just hate to see the scars of. I never thought I'd be someone who'd do that but sometimes you just get pushed that low.
 
BourbonMac said:
he keeps trying to get me to go to this local sauna/steam room thing because hot showers help with my crippling tinnitus, he talks about it constantly and has gone as far as to say "maybe we'll cross paths" or "you may see nude men in there"
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What the fuck that's weird as hell, is this an internist?

Fortunately the dose is low and the half-life is long, so I don't think seizures should be a concern, maybe just some discomfort?
 
Are you 12? Punching shit out of rage and not going to a steam room to see your doctor there naked for interesting prescriptions. Like take some phenibut that and the gabapentin should help decrease the seizure risks. Just giving you shit man it’ll still be rough but hopefully it’ll be ok with just the 5mg each night.
 
I wish. I didn't even act like this at 12. I've never once hurt my knuckles in such a way from punching shit, I don't even know how I didn't break my laptop screen, or why the hell I punched it to begin with. Swelling has gone down some but it's all purple and puffy.

I only have one 5mg, so I split it to 2.5mg tonight, 2.5mg tomorrow and again taking cimetidine to increase the half-life. I can't tell if I'm already feeling discomfort or not, I mean I'd think it's way too soon for that. Maybe taking the 5mg tomorrow would've been wiser. I'd rather avoid the phenibut, it was fun for the brief period I took it. Stuff just takes forever to kick in and I feel very strange and it tends to worsen my already chronic tinnitus.

I'll have to just stick with a little extra gabapentin for the time being. Kind of tempted to just finish the 2.5mg now honestly, it's a higher priority for me to rest well tonight, I work tomorrow but have Sunday - Tuesday off and I'd get my re-fill Monday most likely. And I guess I could try kava tomorrow or something, my aluball has some stains but I don't see that being harmful, I cleaned the shit with the hottest soapy water and a toothbrush.

negrogesic said:
What the fuck that's weird as hell, is this an internist?

Fortunately the dose is low and the half-life is long, so I don't think seizures should be a concern, maybe just some discomfort?
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If a PA is an internist then I guess so, I'm not familiar with the term. It is odd though... the guy is like a gang of bloods of red flags and I've begun to realize that more over time.
 
Like I said was just giving you shit man I highly doubt you’d be anywhere close to 12 lol. At the very least the phenibut would make it all more comfortable for you but if you don’t like it no biggy the Valium has a long enough half life you really should be fine and if you’re taking a little bit extra gabapentin then your seizure risk would go down anyway. Never tried kava but whatever works for you. Hopefully the time fly’s by and Monday will be here before you know it and you have your script.
 
Yeah, I'm supposed to be 30 in December. If I don't crumble before then at least... lots of health issues.

Kava can give a very benzo like buzz but with no withdrawals or tolerance really, it can cause mega dry skin though and tastes like feet. In any case, I guess I'll use this as a sign to take less Valium in general, it was hardly doing anything anymore. I'll go from 15 to 10.
 
BourbonMac said:
Yeah, I'm supposed to be 30 in December. If I don't crumble before then at least... lots of health issues.

Kava can give a very benzo like buzz but with no withdrawals or tolerance really, it can cause mega dry skin though and tastes like feet. In any case, I guess I'll use this as a sign to take less Valium in general, it was hardly doing anything anymore. I'll go from 15 to 10.
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I just went on a kava binge for a couple of weeks and it caused dry skin and awful symptoms. It does seem to work similar to a benzo though so might be something to use in an emergency but I wouldn't advise staying on it long-term. Good luck.
 
It's safe for long-term use but yeah the skin can be a big issue. I'd planned on doing some tonight but suddenly I have a godawful stomachache and it probably wouldn't work out well... that sucks. Just like any of the doctors in that office not checking the patientportal over weekends or when they're not in the office. It's no different than checking an e-mail.
 
I think I remember reading something about kavalactones (spelling) being bad for your liver in long term use scenarios so it also may be something to look into if you plan to use that long term. I could also be mistaken though it has happened before.
 
Some people don't metabolize it well or something, I think the same goes for kratom but it's probably more of a risk with kratom. Many people have used kratom for decades and their livers are fine but this is more common with kava users. Everyone in Fiji drink it all the time, their alcohol use is lower than many parts of the world as a result.
 
It's a shame my stomach is in such bad shape because a) valium helps with stuff like that for me and b) I can't take kava as a result. I'm beginning to feel withdrawals, intense restlessness, anxiety, kind of like i'm having a bad mushroom trip or something... I suppose all I can do is dose the gabapentin higher for now. I can't imagine how rough tomorrow will be based on how I already feel. Also feel like I'm going to puke and I haven't thrown up in 18 years (well, once 6 years ago with a bad hangover but I'm talking ordinarily. Even with high alcohol consumption I'd never puke when I used to drink).

This bites. I have some weed in a jar from december 2021 that seems to be just fine and didn't know if I should smoke it. I tend to hit dab pens but flower gets me way higher and it's fire stuff.
 
So I did a good amount of kava and while it eased my anxiety and put me in a pretty good mood, I still feel restless legs and don't know if I'm going to sleep OK tonight if at all. It's 4:30am here and my legs feel just like they do from kratom withdrawals. I guess maybe kratom withdrawals were worse? But they only last a couple days... It's strange that the withdrawals would present already, it has such a long half life and I took 2.5mg earlier so that should've prevented anything. Just finished an extra 5g so took 15g of micronized which is a generally good dose for it.

But yeah... wish me luck from here. I mean damn I forgot how good kava can make you feel but it's not really doing much for the withdrawals. I'm sure taking 2 benadryl earlier could've exacerbated some RLS, I don't take it too often anymore and took 2 thinking it'd help potentiate the 2.5mg. I've had 20mg Flexeril (dosed an extra 10mg an hour ago), like 600mg L-theanine, 500mg gotu kola, I think 1200mg Gabapentin (might be 1600 but I don't think so). Also 250mg of Valerian root extract, 20mg DXM. Apparently kava doesn't even really bind to GABA-A, at least according to this post and even supposedly lessens the effects of Valium? Although this study showed something I made a thread about awhile back and didn't know how to interpret it

The extra 5mg did seem to take quite a bit of the RLS away, but not all. I'd probably have to dose higher but I don't really want to, micronized unstrained is rough. I'll see how some weed or oil does for me and CBD tea (5mg with lemon balm, lavender and chamomile). I guess water soluble CBD has a high absorption rate. I should honestly cut down the Valium and stick with kava as needed because it works so much better even if it can be hit or miss.

Valium I hardly ever feel anymore so if anything this could be a good little T-break and I can dose lower. I remember when 7.5mg used to fuck me up really bad, now 17.5mg or 20mg I feel pretty much nothing. I never wanted to increase the dose and I don't think my doctor would allow that anyway. I'd love to just use only kava, especially micronized but it eventually makes me constipated and dermopathy is what made me have to stop months back. It took about 2 months until that happened but still, it's not pleasant.
 
If it makes you feel better I don't think you're in any danger if it's only a couple of days. Diazepam has a ridiculously long half-life due to its many active metabolites, and you do/did have an extra 5mg as well. I couldn't read everything but it seems like you only take it nightly as well? That means your body is not used to you redosing around the clock and can likely manage for a bit longer.

Try not to stress more than you need to, I know it's easy to say but try doing breathing exercises for example, and distract yourself with something.


Edit: are you sure that the restless legs weren't caused by something else you took? That's quite a lot of different drugs/supplements
 
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Yeah I'm pretty sure it wasn't caused by anything else, I took all of those after the RLS and the kava in the last hour. Kava, flexeril, magnesium glycinate and gabapentin should all help RLS but they didn't much. The kava the most if anything, and getting baked. I still feel it in there, but I can't feel my body at the same time. Just not sure how I'm gonna end up asleep or how much sleep I'll get... but yeah I'm fairly sure it's the lack of Valium. I thought it was kratom at first and figured I probably don't get nighttime withdrawals because Valium would cover it. I tend to take like 1.5g some before bed either way. I guess it's possible the benadryl helped kick this in because I haven't taken 2 of those in awhile. I did this every night for months but only recently stopped. That was at 11:45 though and it's 5:15am right now. The mild dose of doxylamine succinate could've also contributed but that was later after the withdrawals hit.
 
BourbonMac said:
Yeah I'm pretty sure it wasn't caused by anything else, I took all of those after the RLS and the kava in the last hour. Kava, flexeril, magnesium glycinate and gabapentin should all help RLS but they didn't much. The kava the most if anything, and getting baked. I still feel it in there, but I can't feel my body at the same time. Just not sure how I'm gonna end up asleep or how much sleep I'll get... but yeah I'm fairly sure it's the lack of Valium. I thought it was kratom at first and figured I probably don't get nighttime withdrawals because Valium would cover it. I tend to take like 1.5g some before bed either way. I guess it's possible the benadryl helped kick this in because I haven't taken 2 of those in awhile. I did this every night for months but only recently stopped. That was at 11:45 though and it's 5:15am right now. The mild dose of doxylamine succinate could've also contributed but that was later after the withdrawals hit.
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Benadryl can absolutely cause RL. Is it possible that you were feeling very stressed out and somewhat restless and then took benadryl in combination with other stuff which aggravated that symptom and gave you restless legs?

When was the last time you took your regular dose of diazepam? How long ago?
 
Oh, OK, I did not see this post, I had asked the question in another thread, Mac. Keep yourself well, maybe have a small amount of an RC benzo available in the future to taper.
 
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