Do you share your poems with the people you write them about?

[Riley5]

Just curious.

I've noticed that the majority of poetry on this thread is either about being in love or the heartache sometimes caused from being in love. I was just wondering if people shared these pomes with the people. I'm sure many of you share the loving poems, but what about the hurtfull ones?

I'm in a hurtfull stage right now and I guess I'm debating whether or not to maybe email these poems to my S/O. On one hand, I'm sure she would not like to hear a lot of what I write, but on the other hand, maybe it would help things if she knew what was going on. I try to talk with her, but phone conversations turn to arguments and I feel that I can just get the words out better when I write it down and I'm not "on the spot"

So, what do you guys do?

(I couldn't decide if this belonged in words or SLR, but I figured since it focuses on poetry, I would try it here. If it needs to be moved, please do so)

 

[FaerieBum]

I would share my poems with the person i write them about...but i'm afraid he would think i'm a psycho, because of how obvious it would be that i have an unhealthy obsession with him.
I probably will show him eventually though because we are friends...i hope hes flattered and not frightened.

 

[Innocuous]

no, I don't write for other people I write because I'm fucked up. the poems I have shared, mostly by accident... I can't explain it, there's a sense of exposure in that level of expression which I find is never fully reciprocated. It breeds an inequality, a sense of weakness in you for feeling anything and strength in them for being the object of it. So I don't. It would take a great change in me to do otherwise.

 

[Cosmic Mist]

I find that, generally, when i am writing to or about someone i do not share it with them, but with others in my entourage who are unconnected to them.

I generally only write when i am experiencing a very strong emotion, and need an outlet. Writing helps me to clear my thoughts, or clarify my position on a certain issue.

When i have been upset recently (last few years) it has been about my mother, or my ex. Either way i dare not show them the writing until the emotion is well past. This allows me to be far more objective in my judgement and word choice, as well as placing me in a position where i can explain how i was feeling so that they can understand my actions, and in some cases forgive me...

If what you have written is highly emotional, here is what i would do:

Think about this carefully - would you be able to look this person in the eye and tell them straight out how you are feeling? If you can't do it that way, then i believe that it's best to hold off for a while because you may not be seeing the situation objectively. Soemtimes it's not worth the risk.

Go with your instincts - that's what they're there for....

 

[MoeBro]

Everything I've written started on paper. every journal entry, every piece of poetry, no matter how far it got, i wrote on paper
It means that I can take a look at it before I commit to posting and not place it in general public if its too extreme. In fact, I would say that 90% of what I've written that means something to me remains in my little books
I don't want to look like a psychopath do I?

 

[Raz]

Generally speaking I don't really write *about* particular people. I usually write about how stuff affects me, or where I'm at emotionally/psychologically at the time...that's because I'm a typical self-absorbed Gemini.

But no, I don't often let people read stuff when they're close enough that they've become a part of it. Or maybe I should rephrase that...if someone wanted to read it, I'd let them but I certainly wouldn't put it all out there on the table voluntarily...

--Raz--

 

[Riley5]

I generally only write when i am experiencing a very strong emotion, and need an outlet. Writing helps me to clear my thoughts, or clarify my position on a certain issue.

This is my point. When your not in the crossfire of an actual conversation, you can get your ideas out more clearly than if you were face to face.

It's like when your in 5th grade and you have a crush on someone. You want them to know that you like them, but you cant do it to their face because you will be to scared/nervous/distracted and the words don't come out right. So you take your time and write them a letter and then have a friend give it too them or you slip it in their backpack or something. I know this is a cheesy analogy, but i'm just trying to say that sometimes the meaning can be clearer in writing than from speech.

If this is the case (not finding the right word in actual converstation) would it be more benificial to share with the person?

 

[Cosmic Mist]

i see what you're trying to say, however i like to be 100% sure about my position on a given issue before i commit it to a conversation.

I also believe that if the issue is worht so much of my time that i would commit a serious amount time to writing it down to clarify my thoughts, then the person it involves should be told face to face. I don't believe in writing letters - if it's that big of an issue, it needs to be spoken about in real time - it's the only way to do it faily. Any other way is cowardly imho. This is not to say that i think you are cowardly, but simply that i feel more comes from the conversation than the letter. And if half of the battle is just telling the other person, then once you are there it is all downhill from there.

Just go with what your instincts tell you. but don't let it fester inside you - otherwise it will eat you alive.