I been using hard drugs (not opiates) and drinking for over 20 years. I don't regret nor weep. I take that blast with a smile and a grunt of contention - thats uppers. You sound as if downers is the state of reality you enjoy. Tried em but not my cup of whiskey, whats the fun of going to sleep and waking up long enough to go back to sleep again. As a teenager I slept my life away. 14-15 hours per day. What a loss. Now that I regret and was sober back then too.
Now I sleep 4-6 hours every second day and been like this for years. Thanks to drugs, I spent at the minimum 6 additional years awake in my last 20 years. I may not remember much of those years , lol, but in the photos I sure looked like I was havin a blast. i dunno what kind of crashes you all have but before from crack once in a while i would start feeling a bit hectic, so snorting 1/2 a pill of anti anxiety medicine and a few swigs of vodka or a few beers always averted any discomfort. My advice, consider switching to something that will uplift your mood better and get a change of scenery, you are living in a location that's oppressing u. cheers! NN