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Mental Health Do you feel out of place sometimes?

yubacity said:
I have that when i quit the gear and coke and try to hang around normal people it just bores the hell out of me
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You probably know this, but this is because when us addicts get clean our dopamine reward pathway is so incredibly numb from the drug abuse and the addiction behaviour that literally almost NOTHING will cause us to get that dopamine rush of happiness and feeling good. It can take years for it to recover. This is why it's so fucking common for addicts of any kind to seek other addictive behaviour once they've gotten clean off substances, because they're desperate for that dopamine rush.
However obviously the very best thing to do is to just ride it out, go through the motions, keep doing "normal" non-addictive things, and eventually your baseline dopamine "happiness" levels will come down to a normal level, instead of that ridiculously high "rush" level, and normal things will give you pleasure :)
 
n3ophy7e said:
You probably know this, but this is because when us addicts get clean our dopamine reward pathway is so incredibly numb from the drug abuse and the addiction behaviour that literally almost NOTHING will cause us to get that dopamine rush of happiness and feeling good. It can take years for it to recover. This is why it's so fucking common for addicts of any kind to seek other addictive behaviour once they've gotten clean off substances, because they're desperate for that dopamine rush.
However obviously the very best thing to do is to just ride it out, go through the motions, keep doing "normal" non-addictive things, and eventually your baseline dopamine "happiness" levels will come down to a normal level, instead of that ridiculously high "rush" level, and normal things will give you pleasure :)
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It is just so hard my brother im clean now wd have calmed down I have had my day or two of a rush like feeling and im gloomy as fuck and it will go on and on and on until one day my wife will want to go out shopping in London and a meal afterward or even just food shopping at Tescos and ill think fuck it this woman who I love more then my life deserves better ill just do poopy pods have a normal day she deserves it but inside I'm only making excuses to use then the following day back on the fucking brown. These relapses take it out the mind and body as well the last couple of wd have turned my hair at the front white don't help that the wife keeps trying to push me back into life too soon not her fault how can you explain to someone you love to just leave me to it for a few months im cold my legs are stone and I want to wallow in my sorrow .

I hate wd but with the right comfort meds you can struggle through it most of us have done it multiple times but like you said my brother its the fucking brain that brings you back to the table.
 
demonapocalypse said:
Im a college student and hadn't had a genuinely good time in so long that I began to think that there was something really wrong with me that wouldn't allow me to enjoy anything. I try to go out with my friends every weekend to bars and stuff but always end the night feeling like shit, I don't really know why but I think it has to do with me being jealous of the people around me who always seem to be having fun. It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me, does anyone else get that feeling like you just don't understand other people? I get it a lot, but whenever I go out its probably the most pronounced.
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Very often feel out of space.Lonesome somehow
 
hylite said:
All of my life pretty much out of place. Until I found Jesus and that helped so much more now. I'm sorry but that did.
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I believe you. I keep my mind open, really, especially in spiritually, death, afterlife etc.

I'm glad for that for you. But never say sorry, as if to justify, excuse it.
 
demonapocalypse said:
Im a college student and hadn't had a genuinely good time in so long that I began to think that there was something really wrong with me that wouldn't allow me to enjoy anything. I try to go out with my friends every weekend to bars and stuff but always end the night feeling like shit, I don't really know why but I think it has to do with me being jealous of the people around me who always seem to be having fun. It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me, does anyone else get that feeling like you just don't understand other people? I get it a lot, but whenever I go out its probably the most pronounced.
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Yeah, another out of place person here. I'm probably just going to repeat a lot of what people have already said in this thread. "Belonging" is a weird concept really because what is it we're trying or wishing to belong to? If it's just "society" or "life", then that's like looking up at a very big dominating kind of skyscraper made up of many different sized rooms (odd analogy, something a therapist told me once but it sorta stuck) and it's impossible for one person to be able to fill all those rooms at once but that's what we're made to think we have to do.

People are hard to connect with. Fact. And I think in pubs and bars probably is harder than other places. I used to have crippling anxiety and turned to drink and drugs because it made it easier, obviously that came with its own problems and made things worse in the long run, and I was expected to always go and be part of it and I suppose I wanted to as well because it made me feel like I was fitting in and normal. Turns out I do actually like these sorts of places and can enjoy them but I'm still far from normal and still freak out occasionally and still turn to the wrong things to help with that BUT it largely depends on the people I'm with. I try not to care about all the other people who look like they're fitting in naturally and having a good time because in reality they're probably just trying to fit in as much as anyone else is.

I have managed to find a few people who I feel totally comfortable around being me and they've seen the worst of me and are still around for some reason. Ok so it's not many people but they make certain situations much easier to deal with where I'd normally feel out of place or wrong or judged or where anxiety brain would go haywire and not allow me to relax and just "be" in that moment. There's a name for that isn't there that escapes my mind at the moment.

That's what it comes down to I reckon, being comfortable with yourself and knowing what makes you feel connected to something. Most of the time we're trying to fit into the wrong shaped room (back to the odd skyscraper analogy) - those sort of social events might not be what actually ticks your social interaction box. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, that particular stimulus just isn't right for you.

That ended up a lot longer and more waffling than I meant it to. Hope it makes some sort of sense.

It's sorta comforting to know that we all belong in not belonging though right?
 
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