• LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

Do you call people by their given name or their surname?

undead

Greenlighter
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And for that matter, do people call you by your given name or your surname name? I've always noticed as I was growing up, that some people are just more prone to call people by their surname rather than their given name and likewise some people are more prone to be called by their surname rather than their given name.

Are you someone who tends to call people by their surname? If so... is there any reason why, specifically? I notice I do it to some people, but not all. And I don't suppose I have a reason why (that I can site, at least). And likewise... some people call me by my surname rather than my given name.

I've always just kind of wondered if there is any sort of psychological reasoning behind it or if it's more of a random thing.

Thoughts?
 
In college and at work, a lot of people would call me by my surname. I found it interesting that people in my office would call me by my married surname but called my husband by his first name.
 
At work it's about 50 / 50 on both counts, just depending on individual preference, it's just sort of established, never spoken about. I don't really have a preference either way, but in a work setting I am accustomed to the surname, elsewhere I'm known exclusively by my first name. The work place that I am in now is a good bit less formal than the last, and accordingly more people use first names. In the past I was in a work place before where everyone would be referred to by the surname, except for the upper management, who were all known by their first names, which was always kind of amusing.
 
I call people by the name they ask me to call them. as for me, i'd prefer to be called by my *chosen* name or its derivative (exarkann or exar), but people think its weird or have issues saying words that have more than two syllables in them... so the derivative of my given name (josh) will have to do.
 
^ With that in mind... what if someone who's name is "Greg," but their full given name is Gregory is asked "do you prefer Greg or Gregory?" in a professional or social setting, for that matter, and the response they give is "either or." Then how do you choose which to use? And is there a reason you'd choose Greg rather than Gregory? More casual/personal/etc.?

I find that I get slightly jilted when someone gives that response because then I tend to think they actually prefer one and if I don't use it... they have an immediate disconnect. I don't necessarily think people do it on purpose, but that it's just a reaction.
 
I would probably call the person whatever I observed other people calling them, more so than even asking, I think in most situations you can kind of pick it up. Like I said I've worked in places that were pretty formal and heavy on the Mr. and Miss and it wasn't even like those that did something else really discussed it,but it just sort of happened.
 
I honestly just call people whatever they were introduced to me as, or whatever everyone else calls them.

As an example: One of my mates is Dan but as a teenager people called him Purdy (abbreviation of his surname) and some of his mates still call him Purdy so now I sometimes call him Purdy too, if the mood so strikes me :)
But mostly I call him Dan.

Only one person ever called me by the abbreviated version of my surname (which is fairly common for people with my surname) but I'm no longer friends with her. But no-one else ever has.
 
Like n3o says, I call them by the name I was introduced with.

I find that in Scotland, calling someone by their surname is a bit pompous, unless of course it is the nickname they use themselves anyway. If someone referred to me by my surname I'd probably correct them & tell them the name I prefer. I've got loads of nicknames, but thankfully none of them are bad so I don't mind any of them. I can't even remember the last time my wife called me by my proper first name.
 
I long ago got into the habit of introducing myself by my first and last name, ostensibly because I hated being called only to find out it was someone else; my name is very common. Ironically, my name isn't even in the top ten now, so youngsters these days who share it will have an easier time than I.

I almost always use first names, saving surnames only for those I'm unfamiliar with / who have superior status. Every calls me by my first name save for one person, who still uses both. :)
 
, but people think its weird or have issues saying words that have more than two syllables in them...

Yeah this is strange. I MUCH prefer my full first name which has 4 syllables, but have spent several years trying to deal with/still sorta disliking the very common one syllable variant. I'm unsure if it's still in the top ten or not, but I guess 4 syllables is a bit of a mouthful. My last name usually get butchered for whatever reason, so I'd prefer it not being used very often. If people would learn to pronounce my relatively easy to pronounce name, I wouldn't care as much.
 
it depends on how i know the person.
a lot of the guys i kknow from high school, i met in football. so we were pretty accustomed to calling eachother by our surnames.
but almost everyone else i call by their given name, unless they were introduced to me using their surname.
 
I don't think I have called very many people by their surname. Only a few, who by choice predominantly went by their surname. No one has ever called me by my surname either.
 
i usually refer to them however they were introduced to me. i never refer to them as a nickname unless they were intorduced to me that way, either. there is a reason i introduce myself to people as michael and not mike.
 
Most of my friends back in Boston call me by last name because I met them when I was in my early 20's when they already know approximately 1,000,000 Jon/John/Jonathans. The only person I asked to stop doing that was my ex when we first started dating because it felt weird to have my girlfriend calling me by my last name (except in reference while talking to our other friends). I generally introduce myself as Jonathan nowadays or in work situations though I don't ever expect my friends will start calling me that. Ha.

Oh and I'm with michael. I always address someone as they were introduced to me unless some variation of that springs from our friendship/relationship. I have a really hard time calling most Bluelighters by their handle after I meet them in person the first time.
 
It depends on the person. I give just about everyone I meet/hangout with a nickname. But after a while, others call that person the name I gave them. At work, people call me the name I gave them. No one really calls me by my birth name anymore.
 
in high school i was always known by my last name or my initials. probably cuz i played sports.

my non sports friends and girls ususally called me by my nickname (andy)

but now ive been introducing my self as andrew. dont really know why but i just felt like it was time for a change. i still call myself andy in my head though. maybe that will change with time.


the reason that we called ppl by their surname (last name) was cuz there was multiples of the same name. we musta had 10 chris's in my graduating class. its just easier to identify a person by their last name cuz its more unique then their first name. another reason is that their last name is more memorable. ie, i went to school wit a kid who had the last name falco. it first name was kinda bland so falco stuck.
 
what if someone who's name is "Greg," but their full given name is Gregory is asked "do you prefer Greg or Gregory?" in a professional or social setting, for that matter, and the response they give is "either or." Then how do you choose which to use? And is there a reason you'd choose Greg rather than Gregory? More casual/personal/etc.?

I find that I get slightly jilted when someone gives that response because then I tend to think they actually prefer one and if I don't use it... they have an immediate disconnect. I don't necessarily think people do it on purpose, but that it's just a reaction.
Lol, I recently found out that between the name choices a friend gave me (full name or nick name) when I met her, no one uses her full name like I do, lol. I chose to call her by her full name because I have/had a bad association with the nickname she uses... Which I still think is kinda weird--I knew one person who was a bitch with that name, so when given the name choice, I chose the name that had no previous person attached... If that even makes sense.

I long ago got into the habit of introducing myself by my first and last name, ostensibly because I hated being called only to find out it was someone else; my name is very common. Ironically, my name isn't even in the top ten now, so youngsters these days who share it will have an easier time than I.
Lately, I've been considering using my surname, as it is a million times more unique than my first name (which has been in the top ten [in the US] for the past couple decades). But then there are pronunciation issues with my surname, even though it's four letters long and only two syllables. *rolls eyes*
 
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