Do you believe you're an addict? V I'm an entity on a journey not a label....

[Eveleivibe]

Hiya,

We've had some brief discussion on this n this subject has caused me a lot of controversy in the recovery community over the years simply because I will not have my experience placed onto a one word label, "addict."

Do those of us whom have experienced addiction by going through it or seeing a loved one go through it, I'd like to hear your views please.

To those with no experience of addiction, your opinions also matter here too if you'd like to opinionate on the subject. All is welcome n will hopefully generate some interesting discussion.

How do you feel that the label, "addict" benefits or has negative implications for individual(s) or society as a whole?

Evey

 

[curious_24]

I'm a codeine addict.

Deep down I still think I could probably stop tomorrow, cold turkey, if I HAD to - but I know that's just the addict part of my personality trying to rationalise what I'm doing.

I'm spending way too much money on the stuff, I have a baby to take care of (Although she's treated like a princess and wants for nothing), my sex drive is all but gone, I'm psychologically fixated on codeine, etc, etc. If that's not the aforementioned "good reason" then I don't know what is.

The sad thing is, I don't really want to stop yet. This alone makes me very worried about the future.

 

[Shambles]

I am an addict in the sense that I have been addicted to several substances over the years and very clearly exhibit deeply rooted addictive tendencies. I see nothing negative about the word itself as it is purely descriptive. I also define myself as male because I identify as male and am fortunate enough to have the equipment to fit that identity. I also define myself as being of north European descent because I am of north European descent. I define myself as middle-aged because all averaged age ranges of people of my general background and locale suggest that I am in the middle period of my likely lifespan.

I could go on (and on and on and on and...) because we all use "labels" for reasons of practicality and convenience - as well as accuracy and relevance. I could insist that I was not an addict in the same way that I could insist on telling people I was an aboriginal Carib woman in my late 80s. In both cases I would be mislabelling myself and essentially lying to myself and those I "insisted" upon.

I would suggest the problem is not with "labels" so much as perceptions of what "labels" mean. I don't see the "addict" label as being negative or derogotory in any way whatsoever. Quite the opposite. To me it suggests that a person has enough self-awareness to have come to terms with a condition which affects them in much the same way a person may tell people they have been diagnosed with *some condition or another* whilst another person may choose to avoid seeking possible diagnosis whilst still accepting they display all the symptoms of that condition but perhaps feel better if there is some possible doubt about it. That latter person may function just fine but chances are the former person will be the one getting the treatment and support required to learn to deal with their condition so is almost certainly more likely to achieve more desirable outcomes.

There is no shame whatsoever in being addicted to something. All it means is that your brainchemistry works just fine when it comes to the dopamine system - or perhaps works a little "too well" due to overstimulation of that "reward" system via artificially enhanced means whether they be through chemical substances or behavioural factors. One of the vital steps towards "recovery" (ie learning to deal with one's addictions) is to accept that you are an addict. Denial simply keeps you locked in to existing patterns of behaviour. Change requires acceptance followed by working to a goal.

 

[BlindHelperMonkey]

To me this suggests that you may not be completely ready to drop down from 4mg yet. Please try to bear in mind that it is not a race - there are no "winners" or "losers" there are only people who stick at it and those who don't. As with any other medication, sometimes a person needs a little more, sometimes they need a little less, sometimes they need a longer course of treatment, sometimes a shorter course suffices.

If a person had to go back to get a second course of antibiotics to fight off a chest infection, or a person who had to go back to get their hayfever meds dose raised a little, or a person who was in plaster for a bit longer than the fella next in line was when they broke a bone at the same time you wouldn't think of them as being "weak" or as having "failed" in any way would you? This is the same thing.

All that stuff about "weakness" and "failure" is from people who consider addictions to simply be a flaw in a person's moral character - the same kinda people who believe depression is cured by stiffening the upper lip and cramming down emotions even further below the surface, or who believe that AIDS (alongside whatever the most recent natural disaster happens to be) is a deity's judgement on the prmiscuous, the chemically hedonistic and/or the sexually "deviant". In other words, the opinions of the uniformed, the bigoted and the ignoramus.

Again, I would strongly recommend speaking honestly with your keyworker and/or doctor or whoever you feel most able to open up to. Be asked to be referred to a different keyworker if there is one you get along with and trust more than the one you usually see. Whilst I totally understand the apparent need to keep some pills in reserve "just in case" (I do it too at times so am on no high horse here) this is also a sign suggesting the person is not quite yet ready to let go enough to drop down in dosage with confidence. It does get harder the lower you go because the relative amounts being cut out increase each time. This is a flaw in the system in my view and it ma be worth speaking to your keyworker about being tapered more gradually - perhaps 3mg rather than 2mg. These kinda doses can be worked out as bupe also comes in the form of Temgesic (identical to Subutex in all but name - if your keyworker believes Suboxone is anything other than a shallow marketing ploy for the uneducated they should try to develop more knowledge of their area of supposed expertise... but, yeah, good luck with that ).

you misspelled promiscuous

 

[Shambles]

I'd label that as a typo but either way you appear to be in especially inscrutable forn tonight. I do hope this is not the beginning of a trend though cos my typing is frequently very slack indeed so this could take some considerable time

 

[ponch]

I think there is a scale/range of addiction disorders, similar to the autism spectrum.

Just because one guy is injecting fentanyl directly into his eyeball and smoking rocks the size of golf balls compared to your bottle of linctus a night doesn't make you any less of an addict just a less severe/different type of addict.

I am not physically dependent on alcohol, I can go for days without drinking and it doesn't really bother me but sometimes, particularly on stressful days I can be left gasping for a beer or 2. I'd say that was addictive behaviour and therefore I am an addict/borderline addict.

tl:dr an addict is an addict is an addict.

 

[spudgun]

I'm a codeine addict.

Deep down I still think I could probably stop tomorrow, cold turkey, if I HAD to - but I know that's just the addict part of my personality trying to rationalise what I'm doing.

I'm spending way too much money on the stuff, I have a baby to take care of (Although she's treated like a princess and wants for nothing), my sex drive is all but gone, I'm psychologically fixated on codeine, etc, etc. If that's not the aforementioned "good reason" then I don't know what is.

The sad thing is, I don't really want to stop yet. This alone makes me very worried about the future.

I'm in the exact same boat, curious. I've been addicted for about 4 years, with periods within that where I've got off it for a time. It's never as difficult as you expect to get off, just feeling a bit run down and low and insomnia and these symptoms are offset by the positives , e.g. heightened music appreciation, increased libido, renewed interest in external stimuli generally, but I just can't find the motivation to, especially since I split from my long term girlfriend a couple of years ago (no doubt the codeine played its part in that - killing the libido and making me have to sneak off to the chemists all the time).

I was seeing this girl at the start of this year and I had nearly quit, but when that didn't work, I went fully back into it. I've been getting more risky with it as well, like not bothering to filter packs of N+, just boshing it with ranitidine.

The problem is I've become a bit reclusive. It feeds on itself, this addiction. it makes me ok with just my own company, so I become isolated, and then I need to keep taking it to deal with the isolation. I'm going to need an impetus to get off it and I'll be lucky if one magically appears in my current circumstances. The positives for my life of being off it ought to be enough, especially as all it does these days is make me feel quite nice for about an hour, but I'm too much about instant gratification.

 

[Eveleivibe]

Thank you everyone for your responses. It's an interesting read. Shambles you really do have a good way with words n personally I've not noticed typos but anyway whoever notices typo errors on forums / char. We're all trying to type our responses out as fast as we can so as on to the next thread / post participation. Oh yea chill out over analysing people's spelling / grammer people there's more important things to concern ourselves with.... Now where was I? Yea you've got me thinking a lot lately with your posts, Shambles. Thank you.

I'm in the exact same boat, curious. I've been addicted for about 4 years, with periods within that where I've got off it for a time. It's never as difficult as you expect to get off, just feeling a bit run down and low and insomnia and these symptoms are offset by the positives , e.g. heightened music appreciation, increased libido, renewed interest in external stimuli generally, but I just can't find the motivation to, especially since I split from my long term girlfriend a couple of years ago (no doubt the codeine played its part in that - killing the libido and making me have to sneak off to the chemists all the time).

I was seeing this girl at the start of this year and I had nearly quit, but when that didn't work, I went fully back into it. I've been getting more risky with it as well, like not bothering to filter packs of N+, just boshing it with ranitidine.

The problem is I've become a bit reclusive. It feeds on itself, this addiction. it makes me ok with just my own company, so I become isolated, and then I need to keep taking it to deal with the isolation. I'm going to need an impetus to get off it and I'll be lucky if one magically appears in my current circumstances. The positives for my life of being off it ought to be enough, especially as all it does these days is make me feel quite nice for about an hour, but I'm too much about instant gratification.

Be careful with that. I went from an excuted fascination of cold water extraction after reading about it on another forum, to not bothering at all as I was scared of losing the codeine. I remember finding cwe illegal because it was a "forbidden pleasure" so to speak. But then I just stopped as I wanted, n thought I need as much codeine in me as I could.

I love this forum. I love how I don't have to be ashamed that I was addicted to codeine n went on suboxone n know I wont be mocked for it or preached at. No one has ever done that to me here in EADD n I feel that I can be totally me in discussing my addictions n struggles here, without added stress or drama.

I really do love you people heaps heaps xxxx

you misspelled promiscuous

Did you get my PM I sent awhile back?
-----

OK lets have some more responses. Hoping that, as well as generate discussion it may bring in new members who do tend to post questions like this on Google (I know I used to )
Evey

 

[Sammy G]

An addict? Christ, no.

 

[JimmyW]

What's an addict??

 

[ponch]

The real question here is Jimmy W a poorly disguised Sammy G alt? Hmmm....

 

[Sammy G]

I was wondering the same. We'll just monitor his behaviour for signs of rakish charm and poor innuendo.

Or set gardenlane on him.

 

[JimmyW]

Bastards!!!

Didn't take you long to see through that one...Only managed three posts before being rumbled..... I'll try harder next time.

 

[JimmyW]

I was wondering the same. We'll just monitor his behaviour for signs of rakish charm and poor innuendo.

Or set gardenlane on him.

Fumbles through dictionary to find meaning of "rakish".....

 

[One Thousand Words]

I start the work day with a cup of tea. My days off I don't even miss not having one.

Drugs and alcohol are nice but I go weeks without even a spliff and the last hang over I remember was meeting up with a couple of bluelighters in New York last year.

Given the opportunity I like giving it a nudge but I'm a user, not an abuser

 

[JimmyW]

I begin most days injecting Krokodil into the large vein in my scrotum but I can stop anytime I want......

 

[One Thousand Words]

I hear your dick is so small you dribble piss on your balls. I hope you alcohol swab that scrotum before you inject

 

[JimmyW]

I hear your dick is so small you dribble piss on your balls. I hope you alcohol swab that scrotum before you inject

Yeah well...I though I'd grown a new pube the other day until I pissed out of it...what a disappointment that was.

Unless you fancy swabbing my balls for me?....

Oh no hang on a minute.... Your not a bird? Always thought you were for some reason....