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Do you believe in karma for cheating exes, players, homewreckers, etc.

Lysis

Lysis

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Apr 13, 2008
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I was reading another thread, and this question came to mind. I have a hard time believing in karma, but I've gotten paid back 1000x times over for my one indiscretion, and I recently had a karma experience with an ex. The ex dumped me like garbage (2 days after I got fired from my job..not fun and not cool...could have at least given me a week FFS). This was two years ago.

Anyway, he expressed an interest in getting back together. I tried and tried and tried, but between not trusting him to do it again and him waiting so long to express interest in me, I basically did the same thing to him that he did to me 2 years ago. I didn't mean to, and it wasn't a vindictive act. It just happened. He tried and tried to get me to go out, and I kept telling myself to do it, but the spark was gone and he ruined it with what he did. Basically, I treated him the same way he treated me and lots of other girls before and after me. I again emphasize that I didn't do it on purpose, and I was crazy about him 2 years ago. He just ruined it altogether with how he treated me before. I could tell from how he acted that he was going through the same mental madness I did and his exes went through wondering what happened. It wasn't until he started asking me out even after I blew him off that I realized what was going on.

My one little indiscretion I made about 8-9 years ago has made me wonder if a lot of the train wrecks I encounter are my karma. I cheated ONCE and I will never do it again. The guy I cheated with cheated on me, and I lost like 30 pounds from stress, found myself going crazy and basically made myself ill. He cheated with my friend to top it off. I thought that was my karma, but I have often asked myself if it continues. I apologized in tears to the guy I cheated on. Even though he didn't come back, I felt like I had done the responsible thing and faced what I had done and did the spiritually right thing by telling him what a POS I was for what I did and asked for forgiveness. We still talk today, and I think he has forgiven me. I will never EVER cheat again.

I am wondering if there are any stories out there where the ex gets back exactly what he/she gave. I feel like I have, and I've encountered 2 people now who have gotten back what they did to me. I don't wish it or feel like I want bad things to happen to exes, but I'm beginning to have a strong feeling that people who toy with others' emotions get it back.
 
i think if you would have asked me a few years ago, i'd probably say i definitely believed in karma, but these days, i find that rarely do people get what they deserve... and even more telling - good, innocent people are victimized too often.

i think certain events that some attribute to karma are just shitty (and sometimes coincidental) circumstances, y'know?
 
Yeah, that's really what I believe. It's very possible I'm just experiencing some coincidences. I just think the experiences feel so much like "Yeah, you're getting back what you deserve." This could just be depression in the latest breakup. I keep going back and forth with the karma thing. Sometimes, I completely don't believe in it at all, and then some weird things happen and I start thinking maybe I'm wrong.
 
I absolutely believe in karma seeing as how it's noting in the slightest bit mystical, it's simply cause and effect. My attitudes about relationships and friendships got me to where I am (totally lonely except for my jobs and immediate family) and I continue to be punished for my actions (friends cancelling plans on me last minute, losing touch with me, never responding to my offers of hanging out).
I don't mind it though, it doesn't depress me to the core like it used to. I just turned 21 and I realize that I have lots of growing up to do quickly. I can finally go out to clubs and bars, and now that I actually have a good reserve of money set away I can show the right girl or friend a good time and not have to cut corners cause I'm so broke. I want to forge a real cicle of friends this time around, not just the random people I happened to hang out because we went to the same highschool so my lonliness doesn't even really bother me all that much anyways.
What you do effects how you feel in more ways than the obvious, and how you feel effects how you think in more ways than the obvious, and how you think effects what you do, etc.
That's all Karma is, in a nutshell, to me anyway.
I don't believe in some mystical energy judging our actions or anything like that.
I haven't kept close contact with any of my EXs so I don't really know how they're doing in life, but I'm sure they are where they deserve to be, just like I am.
I don't think I ever met a person who wasn't where they deserve to be actually...
Even if you consider the cases of "undeserving celebrities," they had to sacrafice something to get where they are, just like anyone else, and they don't even necessarily live the best lifestyle anyway.
 
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(@Lysis) that's sort of an interesting perspective. when you internalize it, it sounds terribly depressing: "i'm must have been a bad person and now i'm getting what i deserve." or, when it happens to someone else, even hateful: "that person is terrible; they got what they deserve." i don't know; i sort of understand the philosophy behind karma, but it sounds a bit negative.

i know i'm a good person and i try to make decisions to the best of my ability, but i'm human, i make mistakes and this is life and sometimes it's fucking tough. i prefer to believe the shitty stuff that happens is life teaching me a lesson - not punishing me for making a bad choice somewhere down the line.

for instance (and i'm only using examples), if you cheated on your boyfriend and then he cheated - perhaps that was because the relationship was unfulling for the both of you. or if you lost your job after you cheated, i think that has more to do with the economy or your work ethic or whatever (again, these are purely just examples) than the fact that you were unfaithful.

i think the guilt you felt after cheating was punishment enough... and probably enough so that you wouldn't want to do it again.

you're a smart, successful, beautiful woman, Lysis. you don't "deserve" for shitty things to happen to you - but, like everyone, sometimes they do.

either way, these are my personal thoughts on the matter. if you believe in karma, i certainly respect that. i'm just trying to relay my non-karma believing perspective of your events.
 
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I think shitty people just draw shitty people toward them eventually until that's all their left with in their lives, even if they're clever enough to trick decent people into putting up with them for awhile at first. Then it's just a matter of time before they get fucked over just like they fuck other people over.
 
Sort of but it's more like since these people are into cheating or being a total player/user of people they're never going to find a stable relationship with anyone and eventually they'll find themselves all alone since they won't realize that nobody wants to have a relationship with someone that's going to eventually cheat on them or just use them and move onto the next person.

I have a friend that did seem to show an interest in dating me when he became single, but I said no thanks because when we first met he was in a long term "monogamous" relationship with his partner and he told me how he did once cheat on his partner.

I figured that if I ever did get into dating or having a relationship with him (my friend) that what's to stop him from eventually cheating on me? I want a monogamous relationship. I did try an open relationship with an ex when I was younger and I tried a "relationship" with myself and 2 other men at once who were already a couple and both did not last, work, and were not nearly as satisfying as a monogamous one on one relationship is for me.

I've seen lots of men get cheated on and wind up having an open relationship full of jealousy/insecurity that does not last and they only do this because of having a partner that's into cheating. I'd rather avoid all of that drama and just stop having a relationship and sex with someone if they're going to cheat on me and then claim that they want or "need" an open relationship when it was previously monogamous and not open at all.

edit-I'm fine with being friends with my friend that I wrote about but I don't want to take it further than that.
 
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this thread caught my eye coz i happen 2 be reading deepak chopras 7 laws of spiritual success - just a little pocket book and first of his stuff iv read - i find his description really straightforward - We have choices all the time, and thats where we can make a difference - like that Sliding Doors film; we can make conscious choices and actions that bring happiness and success to others and i add ourselves too at the same time;

its the unconscious choices that we sometimes try not to own as being our own choices - like we can choose 2 get really pissed off and take revenge on an abusive ex who tries to get bk in r mended life and cause havoc - coz it makes us angry at an almost instinctive level - or we can choose how 2 react and decide to ignore the idiot like he dont exist! ;) as he obviously hasnt moved on - and i call that his karma coz now i understand i am in control of my life and can choose my reactions to others actions instead of dancing to them pulling our strings! - it shows i have matured emotionally - its a lot about handling our emotional lives, i think anyway
 
I 100% believe in karma

And I've gotten even with a few men in my time to save karma the hassle.... but really, if you're a good human being with good intentions, you will get broken yes but if you work through those experiences correctly then you will hit the jackpot when it's time...and be sure to stay as far the fuck away from other peoples' shit as humanly possible <3
 
I’m not sure I believe in karma either, though nice in theory it doesn’t seem like everyone gets exactly what they deserve. But how do you measure that? I think it’s possible that there are immeasurable positive and negative energies that we hold onto and dish out. But if that’s the case, it’s still unpredictable.

To me it sounds like you got way more negative back than you deserved anyway, and I thought karma kept things pretty even. It might seem like you did the same thing to him as he did to you, but they’re different situations.

I don’t think you have to believe in karma to practice it, though. It’s also the Golden Rule, and hopefully it’s common sense… you do unto others as you would have them do to you. So I don’t totally disregard karma… I’ll say stuff like, “that’s karma for you”. Because it’s nice when people treat others with respect and you want to keep this idea alive.
 
Through experience, i really can't say i believe in this idea of Karma. Like Fawkes, i've seen too many shitty people push ahead and have life seemingly served to them on a platter, while decent folk toil away and are victimised every day.

Nope, life isn't really fair at times, but to be honest, it's something i just choose not to think of. I Have a good thing going with me and mine, it can be a struggle sometimes, but i just keep making sure i appreciate what i have, instead of what I don't have and try not think about others that I feel may continually dodge, for lack of a better description, the "universal kick in the guts"; if i do, i just get pissed off, and i really don't want to waste my time feeling that way, when i have got a lot to love (and a lot of love) in my own life - just concentrate on the good stuff.

All i know is that i'm not going to rely on the universe, to make good things happen in my life - i'll just work hard and make it happen myself.

:)
 
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well, karma as a technical buddhist concept simply refers to the laws of cause and effect. The western confusion results in misinterpreting the ego boundary of the 'self' as contained within that of oneself (ie you not the world in its totality). If you construe the world in its totality as the ego 'self' then you can see why karma applies to our reality (if you do something to the world then obviously there will be a ripple effect...a string of causes/effects that follow).

So, I do believe you are sorely confused about the concept of karma. And no I do not believe your confused/mistaken concept applies to our reality.
 
^ That's what i was thinking, but could in no way articulate it like you have :) I've always thought that the word Karma was used in the wrong context by non-buddhists, for instance "Karma will get him/her, don't worry". I can understand, though, how non-buddhists could apply it. It's just not technically correct.

To me, though, as i said above, Karma has nothing to do with the way people treat others - good things happen to bad people all the time and horrible things happen to good, people all the time. However, the reverse is true too :)
 
This is something that I think about a lot. I realised recently that alot of my jealousy about someone I used to care about a lot (which lingered long after my romantic feelings for him did) came from me not liking the idea of him finding happiness with somebody, because i felt he deserved to be punished for what he did to me. I didn't like the idea of him being really happy and in a new relationship, while i was still alone and struggling, after i had always done the best thing by him and he did nothing but hurt me. I realised how spiteful and negative that was, and how it came from my desire to see karma take its course.

I definitely believe in karma strongly but i think it often happens in very indirect ways. For example, several weeks after coming to these conclusions, i had sex with somebody new that I had met, and the sex was extremely passionate and loving, amazing and spiritual. More than it had ever been with the person above. And it made me realise, that this person is incapable of loving to the same degree as I am, and that in itself is his karma- he may be, and probably is, sleeping with and seeing other girls, like usual random girls from the pub etc., but i can almost guarantee that knowing him as i do, he would never (at this stage of his life anyway) be able to have such a passionate, beautiful experience with anybody as I was able to do. And that in itself is like a form of karma i think.
 
I think karma is wishful thinking. We would like to think that someone who hurt us gets hurt in return. Maybe not. That's where manmade instant karma is the cure.
 
Samadhi said:
All i know is that i'm not going to rely on the universe, to make good things happen in my life - i'll just work hard and make it happen myself.
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My sentiments exactly - though I do believe the Universe provides for those who do good things by themselves and others in the long run, also vice versa.

Two men have really broken my heart/spirit in my 30 years (I'm talking about lasting pain, not transitory post-breakup pain). One is doing fine on his own and we are friendly enough given the circumstances. The other cheated on me once, I dropped him, moved cross-country, and 7 years later I found out the woman he cheated on me with wound up cheating on *him* with her ex-husband about 2 years into their relationship. Her ex-husband gave her a nice dose of herpes, the gift that keeps on giving. My ex caught it from her, thankfully, long after he and I split. I haven't seen him in years - we talk occasionally out of necessity (business stuff) and every time I hear him bitch about how he never would have gotten it if he had not screwed things up with me... that he should have realized what he had to save himself a lot of pain and consternation...

I must say, I feel the Universe may be laughing at him.
 
As much as I'd love to broadcast to the world what assholes they are, I try my best to remind myself that the crazy, lying, spying and thieving exes I've had will get theirs without my involvement.
 
i have my own sort of belief in a sort of karma that fits any category of life.

i believe those types of people deep deep deeeeeeeeep down have guilt that is wrecking them, and so theyll continue to have fucked up relationships, which is the payback
 
I searhed for karma. This thread is what I found. I don't believe in Karma but like generic mind said shiity people attract shiity people and so forth. I guess this means I cannot post a new thread about "karma is it real or not?" in the philosophy and spirituality forum :-(
 
GenericMind said:
I think shitty people just draw shitty people toward them eventually until that's all their left with in their lives, even if they're clever enough to trick decent people into putting up with them for awhile at first. Then it's just a matter of time before they get fucked over just like they fuck other people over.
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This. People that are assholes will eventually get treated like assholes, regardless of any cosmic forces.

And besides, I've gotten the short end of the stick enough times already that if I thought about it too much I'd go (even more) crazy.
 
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