Ok then, couple of things in that case: like I said earlier being on mushrooms in a confused state of mind can be very troublesome and it demands resolution then and there. This is both good and bad news for you.
The good news is that a healing experience can help with this sort of thing although I would not easily recommend such a decision if all or many other options haven't been investigated first. I am convinced that transformative experiences happen at a moment of serious conflict, but be warned this is a heavy thing to do. Taking the stuff because you want to escape from your reality is what you really don't want to do since the shrooms will show you an amplified and magnified but dynamically distorted version of your reality. It will confront you and do the exact opposite which is not letting you escape any damn little thing anymore!
It can be extremely constructive and developing, but you need to be prepared to act on it when you are virtually forced to make changes. In your life, in your mind, in your view of your life...
The change will not come externally and spontaneously, you still have to do all the work yourself. What the experience might do is catalyze it and show you the way. Think deep and hard before doing any of this because if you are not prepared to do the work it can REALLY put you stuck in an endless sinkhole of the conflict you are basically already in from what I hear.
I hope you are aware of this.
A part of the experience is a renewed look upon the world, fresh lust for life is not uncommon to show itself... but with the depression you speak of I think you are bound to come across it in-your-face style and when that happens the only way is through it, around it is not an option. In all fairness there is a possibility that part of the work gets done for you, sometimes the quarter falls and realization dawn upon you as if predestined, but don't even think about counting on it.
In the case you dose seriously low the first time(s) and approach it carefully the chance of becoming overwhelmed by all of this I described is significantly slimmer. Sometimes it's not so bad if a powerful experience helps you thrust through it well instead of half way, but then an experienced guide is definitely preferable if not downright necessary in your case.
This is a hard decision to make, I can appreciate that though - stuff like this is risky, but there can certainly be rewards. But again: don't be tricked and don't go immediately for the jackpot - instead treat it with deep contemplation, respect and conscientious mindfulness.
