• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

Do I tell my partner what I fantasise about

C

Cocobutter91

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
Messages
1
I have been with my partner for 8 years now and she has always been open with me (not sexually but everything else) I on the other hand haven't and recently opened up to her about problems ect, I have fantasised in past and still do about having a bisexual threesome with her, no other girl but her, I don't fancy males or find them attractive in any way what so ever but it's just the fact of trying it that turns me on, bare in mind only with my girlfriend as I still get turned on by her and very aroused when I'm with her, this threesome I imagine is the most wildest thing. Do I tell her about this or not?, do i try to act upon this or not? Or shall I just keep fantasising about it and keep it to myself? If I was to tell her what should I say? I know she wouldn't tell anyone as she is secretive when it comes to things like this, she told me what turns her on when we was drunk one night but she Deni's It now (I think because she's not comfortable talking about things like this) please can someone help
Me and not give me a stupid answer.. Thanks p.s am I bisexual or not or what? I could never have a relationship with a man as I'm not into that and I know I never will be nor like I said, I don't find males attractive
 
Last edited:
What do you plan to achieve by telling her? If she's not comfortable about talking about it, she probably wouldn't be comfortable doing it either.

Appreciate what you've got and stop wasting time and energy on these wankerish fantasies.

P.S. Are you trying to convince us or yourself that you aren't bi?
 
If you can't have a relationship with a man, then you're not into guys, so you're not bi.

Why not tell your partner your fantasies? Nothing wrong with it. Maybe she's secretly thinking the same thing. Maybe she's not. Either way, you'll know. If you've been together for 8 years, even if she doesn't like the fantasy herself, it's not like it should change anything.
 
Don't tell her straight up (word for word) your fantasies in one setting. You need to do this over time without telling her directly at once. If you tell her AND ask her what she thinks; she'll probably turn the idea down with respect to you.

You should give her clues over time and gauge her reaction. You should slowly allow her to do things over time that will one day turn into your fantasy.

Start by maybe allowing her to dance with other men in front of you. Doing things like this... Over time, she'll catch on. And if she likes the idea, she'll play along. You just have to start really slow with it. Just keep it really light & innocent at first... In doing so, she won't feel like a slut or like she's disrespecting you.

Alcohol or drugs can help the mood :) Communication will be a big key factor, but you don't have to tell her everything at once.. Let this play out for a while. It's more exciting like that.
 
421 said:
What do you plan to achieve by telling her? If she's not comfortable about talking about it, she probably wouldn't be comfortable doing it either.

Appreciate what you've got and stop wasting time and energy on these wankerish fantasies.

P.S. Are you trying to convince us or yourself that you aren't bi?
Click to expand...

I don't think he is bisexual at all. I'm not sure how you got that conclusion.

This is bad assumptions & bad advice...
 
Last edited:
and not give me a stupid answer..
Click to expand...

Sure can

am I bisexual or not or what?
Click to expand...

Why do you ask?

You know I am sure your girlfriend would be flattered to hear repeatedly that you don't fancy men but you would go wild if there was one sandwiched between you. She might say no, she might say yes, but what is the purpose behind the question?

and not give me a stupid answer..
Click to expand...

I'm a pessimist she might say no, but I'm rooting for you buddy!
 
There's nothing homosexual about wanting your girl to get 2 dicks at once?

Tell her the thought crosses your mind and turns you on, and leave it at that. No point trying to pressure someone into a threesome, but she may warm to it if you just pleasantly (you could make it a playful topic of it as opposed to an "I need to tell you something" thing) mention it, whilst being clear you're committed to it.
Does she partake in any drugs? Asking when she's horny could get you.. raw answers.

Also as llama said you've been together for 8 years. I don't care if you take any of the following advice (who knows how good it is anyway)
but after that length of time you should be able to open up about sexual desires (idc if you're gonna ask her to shit on you and stomp on your balls, it's been 8 years)
8 years man. be open.
 
8 yrs huh ? Same here and I'm opens with my gf about girls I find hot to porn and fetishes lol idc and if she cares she can just say ew babe and that's that but we get along and it'd be a joke ..wouldn't hurt me ..

you should know your s/o enough where if you tell her something you have an idea of how she will respond ..

if you think she'd truly think different of you then your living a lie with her ..if you feel a certain way like wanting a 3 way and that's not impulsive but actually want..why hide it that's u/part of you ..

I'm not saying you should flaunt it or tell everyone lol but she's yours for 8 yrs?! You trust her? She trust you? ..what's the worst that can happen ?

she may laugh or say no but if you make it clear why you want it she won't lose respect or see you different unless maybe a little freakier which could get her to be more open too..

at best she does it..

in the middle..she's open to it but it never happens..but at least you know where you stand TOGETHER on a subject like this and she should appreciate I that you're that open with her and trust her not to hurt you ..which can lead to other good things ..I mean chicks love when we show some emotion (if done right..don't walk up crying and begging of course lol) .

if you 2 are happy and yada yada ..after 8 yrs man why should you be ashamed of anything with her ? She might be ashamed when she doesn't do her hair or wear make up around you or maybe was ashamed at one point N I bet you didn't care n she doesn't care as much to at all anymore ..that's how relationships work you build trust ..

when I say building trust I dont just mean won't cheat or kill Eachother lol(ok dramatic examples) but I also mean careful with Eachothers feelings ..heck ppl don't know why they want or like most things in sex.. But if you deny it you'll have to hide it forever and it's a sign you're afraid to open up to her (she'd never know but it can pile on you could start thinkn like this about a lot of things) why go down that path?

Perhaps try joking about it to open up a conversation maybe have a few drinks or whatever to lighten the mood and lift some stress off yourself ..

then mention something involving it either a friend or you or some porno you watched this happened can you imagine if we did that?... Now using that way usually means she'll play it off even if she likes it but at least you started a dialogue..

you must at least start talking about it ..minor hints and such if you feel one talk one big reveal is too much .
 
Shrooms00087 said:
Sure can



Why do you ask?

You know I am sure your girlfriend would be flattered to hear repeatedly that you don't fancy men but you would go wild if there was one sandwiched between you. She might say no, she might say yes, but what is the purpose behind the question?



I'm a pessimist she might say no, but I'm rooting for you buddy!
Click to expand...

To the sort of last part..I'm a pessimist who tries to be optimistic but here's the thing 8 yrs ...if the trust is there you should be A&B,e to tell your S/O anything ...

My gf was a prude only 2 guys before me (really 1) , against drugs and so on .. I've gotten her to do lots of drugs (no H or needles) bc she trusts me (besides weed I think that was a matter of time/availability) ..gotten her to find out what she likes kink wise she didn't even know until we did it lol .. Told her what I like and my type of girl (she's not my typical type but she hot lol I like short darker higher puerto/Italian types ..she's blonde , blue eyes , around 5'4" blue eyes ) ...we usually do whatever now and talk about everything from embarrassing things to fun loving things .. She queefed once ..pretended it never happened just bc it bothered her so much lol ..

I always think negatively but eventually if the trust is there you should think f it what's the worst that can happen ..then realize that won't bc it's too negative (like in this guys situation her leaving would be the worst right ?)

be a realist with the pessimism ... 8yrs thrown away bc he wanted to can we curse? ..bang her lol while another dude did ? 3way ended their relationship ? After 8 yrs ,.

unless those 8 yrs were BS and the relationships fake he'll only find it opens everything up in a good way and shows her how much he trusts her and so on ...now if she does for some reason leave she was prolly leaving for other reasons too ..that's like saying your afraid of jerking off now bc you're married even though she never cared b4 .. If she loves him and he trusts her the worst that can happen is she says no and thinks it's weird or gross but doesn't mean she thinks he's gross ..maybe have a weird side is all and that's part of him so he could at least be open with her about it ....

not ot being open just leads to more things you hide out of fear of what will happen (every one does it ..even in very trusting relationships bc no one likes to be embarrassed so our ego protects us to an absurd point ..)
 
I wasn't trying to get in to any philosophical nature of the act. I merely wanted to tell a joke.

The main point is you should be free to discuss this with her, and at the same time, realize it isn't a huge deal.
 
Shrooms00087 said:
I wasn't trying to get in to any philosophical nature of the act. I merely wanted to tell a joke.

The main point is you should be free to discuss this with her, and at the same time, realize it isn't a huge deal.
Click to expand...

Ok sry didn't mean to type so much I was sort of speedin from my script .

I agree reed with that though after 8 yrs nothing too big ..and if you cheated or something (if that's what his panic compares to) the reason that messes things up iris bc it's nothing good for the relationship and causes pain and distrust lol..

basically like this guy said ...it's not a big deal ..at all actually at this point you should at least know how to get a read on your girl even if you're joking about something like if you joke around to get her to slip up what she wants for her bday ..similar concept ..
 
llama112 said:
If you can't have a relationship with a man, then you're not into guys, so you're not bi.

Why not tell your partner your fantasies? Nothing wrong with it. Maybe she's secretly thinking the same thing. Maybe she's not. Either way, you'll know. If you've been together for 8 years, even if she doesn't like the fantasy herself, it's not like it should change anything.
Click to expand...

In order to be bisexual you only have to have sexual attraction to both genders. Falling in love or having relationships or partnerships with both genders is not required.

I am bisexual and can fall in love with both genders; but not everyone that's bisexual is like this. Both of my male ex's are bisexual. The one has had more relationships and dating experiences, and sexual experiences with men but he's sexually attracted to women as he's bisexual. My last ex is also bisexual and he's had more sexual experiences, and dating/relationship experiences with women; but he was in a relationship with me, and recently got married to a bisexual man.

I know some bisexual women who only want sex with one gender, and then they only want a relationship with the other gender.

OP, it depends. If your girlfriend is a lesbian she may get angry, or just find the fantasy to be gross or something that's never going to happen. You know her better than we do. I am not sure if you are male, or female?

I told my last ex a sexual fantasy I had, that later became a reality. He got very angry and did not take it well. That's not the reason why we broke up. Even if I had told him a different fantasy he would have gotten angry, or maybe been jealous? Oh well.
 
llama112 said:
If you can't have a relationship with a man, then you're not into guys, so you're not bi.
Click to expand...

I beg to differ. I adore sex with women and men but I can't maintain a romantic relationship with another woman for very long because they do my head in after a few months.
 
"When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed " - Marilyn Manson ...
I find that sometimes fantasies should be kept as fantasies or you'll get sexually apathetic.
 
You're treading on dangerous ground, my friend.

Unfortunately, the world is NOT as accepting of your desires as we'd like it to be. We've had this thread before, and many people will come out and call me dead wrong ( with zero objectivity or consideration for demographics, but merely thinking with their emotions IMO ) but MANY women will judge you for your physical desire to do anything with another man. I've had a very broad spectrum of women, and many wanted to be VERY sure that I'd never been with a guy.

The most recent girl expressed her desire to see me do something bisexual, or to use a strapon on me. I let her use her strapon. We started dirty talking about doing bi threesome where the other guy and I mess around. She gets off very quickly by talking about this stuff. I enjoyed it very much, and guess what? It now deeply concerns her that I do, to the point that she questions my sexuality. Mature, huh?

I'm sure that there are many girls out there that are very open minded and would love to see your fantasy happen, but my claim is that those girls are the small minority, not the majority.

Once you do something like that, it will follow you, and people will judge you for it. That is a FACT. I'm not here to argue whether or not it's fair, or tolerant, I'm telling you what WILL happen.
 
You say bisexual experience - what is your role, role of the other guy in this fantasy of yours?

Do you and the other guy suck / fuck each other? Do you get off on the idea of sharing your partner with another guy or do you like the idea of maybe getting it on with the guy also ? You can have totally straight three ways !
 
Yeah, I'm wondering to like our buddy Bearlove (Cool name by the way :D)...

Do you actually want to do sexual things with the guy to? OR do you just want to share your woman with another man?

These are two totally different things, and I'd think she'd be more inclined to do the latter. I think most women would be turned off by the idea of their boyfriend doing sexual things with another man, but you never know.

You could make this a whole new thread!
 
Teabag Johnny said:
Yeah, I'm wondering to like our buddy Bearlove (Cool name by the way :D)...

Do you actually want to do sexual things with the guy to? OR do you just want to share your woman with another man?

These are two totally different things, and I'd think she'd be more inclined to do the latter. I think most women would be turned off by the idea of their boyfriend doing sexual things with another man, but you never know.

You could make this a whole new thread!
Click to expand...

Cough cough - Eiffel tower :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top