do drugs do this to you to?

X

X2K

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 23, 1999
Messages
485
Location
san antonio, texas USA
so lately, I have started doing coke again, maybe every other day or so and going into it, i am definatly hesitant but I do want to do it though.. oh wait my back ground is 5 times in patient rehab for coke, last time in was december 1997, so its been along time since being out of control. but so I know that what i am doing is limited as i only do it with my sister & co when i drive an hour to see her. but so i go to be a good sister, knowing that we are gonna do shit, but i am really dissappointed in myself when i start hooving that first line. then though, everything is all better and my attitude each line thereafter is fuck it, i am in control its no big deal, but so then hours and hours later, when we are all tryin to go to bed, ill be laying there alone, all wired and gritting my teeth, and i practically cry everytime because i seriously have no reason for why i did it. Dont get me wrong, I like the high, but sometimes i just get dissapointed in myself and dont want to go down the tubes again.. sorry for babbling guys *iloveyouall* but i am just wondering if anyone else gets like this or has a similar reaction. thanks for reading all the way down to here..
much luv to you all x2k
 
i have sort of a similar reaction with pot, which i've been smokin everyday for a few years...i know that's nothing like what you're going through, but i hear ya.
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:)**LIFE'S SHORT, CLENCH HARD!!**:)
 
thanks ErEctor, I actually do it with everything (i.e. pot, E, smokes, alcohol, food, etc.) glad to know though that you kinda know what is happenin with me.
plur.. x2k
 
that's why drugs are illegal
cause they make u lose control of your life
 
it used to be like that for me about a year and a half ago. Pretty much from thursday through to monday it would be speed and ecstasy, and then speed throughout the week with acid ever now and then just for something different.
I was heading down a one-way street to destroying my life and i wouldn't listen to anyone. It was like this for about 4 months, but luckily i went away to uni and dried out for 6 nice months and was able to get things in perspective and realise that i was pretty nearly an addict
frown.gif

I still worry sometimes coz i definitely do have a tendency to over-indulge. But i think the major step is in realising there is a problem, and then the next step is solving it. I'm not suggesting give it up all together, but a fairly substantial break followed then by _moderate_ drug use is the way to go
smile.gif

luck to ya!
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vert
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Awareness is a state of mind that most people choose not to be aware of
 
I have been through what you're dealing with. I was more wigged out on meth than coke, but I consider myself addicted to both. You can email me if you ever want to talk. I won't even feed you 'this is why you should quit, look what happened to me, yatta yatta..' Just yanno, if you ever need to vent or something. I wish you luck in either keeping hold of that control or breaking free of it, whichever's your ultimate aim.
Much luv,
~*~ Ashke ~*~
 
*steps onto his soapbox*
I recently gave up coke... I was only doing it about once a week... or every other week... It was reaking havok on my body... and my life. I would be perfectly happy if I never did another line again... and it's hard to say no... but that is exactly what I say.
I realy don't mean to sound down on you... but if you have been into, and out of rehab TWICE for the shit, why would you even concider going back? just becasue you THINK you are in "control"... It's like an alchaholic having just a couple of drinks...
Let me assure you that the bad feelings you get while doing that first line, and after it's all said and done, clearly indicate that you are NOT in control.
I am the same way with the shit... I feel realy bad about it after... and sometimes during the first line, and ESPECIALLY when I am comming down. That is why I gave it up... well, one of the reasons.
Coke isn't worth it... period.
I realy think that you need to steer entirely clear of that white shit.
If it means removing yourself entirely from the situation, until you can learn to say no. Do it. Trust me... it's worth it. YOU are worth it.
Coke is an awful drug... it does awful things to people. and people do awful things to themselves by, and while, doing it.
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"Hold me,
Feel me, NEVER LET ME GO!
Show me,
Need me,
cuz I want you to stay,
at least until,
THE BREAK OF DAWN!"
 
thanks everyone that responded, and thanks especially ashke for not kinda downing me, i guess that was whta i needed to hear, i just didnt want to hear that.. a lot of other things factor into my whole situation being that i only do shit with my family and going to see them means doing shit. and also i would say that i am in control, being that i am not using everyday, all the time. its just recreational 3-4 times a week. oh well its off to school.. have a great day everyone..
*much luv* x2k
 
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