*Idn if it's possible to edit thread titles, but if someone could fix that typo...*
This is my first post on blue light, I've known about the forums for a while and figured I'd post here if I ever felt like reporting a trip, as simply recalling it through text and getting feedback can be helpful in deciphering the more riddling experiences.
Anyway, about a week or two ago my pot dealer kindly gave me about one trip worth of dmt that he had synthesized, knowing I had never tried it. I graciously accepted and waited about a week until it seemed like the right time to dive in. I've befriended lsd and mushrooms in the past, and there are some definite similarities and during my dmt trip there was certainly a sense of eerie nostaliga, but I couldn't put my finger on when I had been there before.
So I decided to roll a joint with it, put about a thumbnail of grass at the tip of the joint, and filled the rest with grass/dmt. Also had a carb in the joint. I turned my lights off and had no music playing, sat on my bed and began. I began to feel it about half way through the joint, but maintained and managed to smoke the entire thing. Immediately, the same ego that had been the catalyst of me wanting to be able to smoke the entire thing, started dissolving at a very fast rate. My thoughts or voices or whatever began telling me a familiar line reminiscent of "THAT part is over now, it's starting, THAT part of you is dead now as it has no place here." So I let go of that ego and laid on my back with my eyes closed. I may have had OEV's but never tried as it seemed pointless and ego driven to try. I knew I was smoking this stuff to learn something rather than to entertain myself. After closing my eyes and laying down it becomes a little difficult to recall the trip linearly, but I certainly remember the peaks and general themes. It started with kaleidoscopic patterns but quickly became something much more symbolic. The trip consisted of good and bad waves, I can most easily describe this by detailing what was going on during either type of wave and which emotions evoked that type, (though it's more like the emotions were evoked by the waves rather than the other way... ANYWAY.) Positive waves entailed images of women very reminiscent of Alex Gery's artwork, starting with just women, then evolving into hetero sexual imagery, then evolving into pregnancy and conception, then evolving into family unit imagery all with strong feelings and associations of chaotic and wild but still "A OK (everything is ok)" type sexual love similar to but on a higher level than good acid waves. During these parts, time became exponential and eventually led to spiraling infinities that were not quite circular as they were progressing (like a spiral.) These good waves led to unbelievable peaks at which points I would be riding some sort of truth knowledge loop that worked out into two thoughts both contradicting the other but at the same time holding a grand truth. It was the acceptance of the grand truth being infinitely ambiguous along with the acceptance of not knowing, not needing to know, and (most difficult) not wanting to know that allowed my deepest reaches. I also noticed that while going through these tunnels, I would fall off of them whenever I let my right brained notions dominate the left ones (I imagine it could happen in the opposite manner, I just happen to lean on my right brain a little more than my left.) Both polarities had grand notions representing them, the right tended to be very egotistical, some sort of "ALL of this is in MY head" type of thing, where the left would catch up with some sort of "then ALL of this cannot exist if you TRULY believe that." followed with a final notion of "wait, It's impossible for me TO believe that." These of course, were not my exact thoughts, just the best i can do to give somewhat of an example. The negative energy aspects of the trip, had a lot to do with ego. It was represented by ambition, competition, fame, masturbation, homo sexuality, and narcissism. These things had their appeal and resonated with a different sort of "fun" feeling quite different from and not as "good" as the love euphoria from the good waves. In the end these negative waves of course led to negative "peaks" which were... "unpleasant." Though after the fact I believe the best technique for deep journeys is to accept both the negative and positive as integral and necessary forces with one being no better than the other. And that the goal is to always try to stay exactly in between the two and achieve "neutral spiraling euphoria," where your able to tap into very high understandings of things. Another thing to mention is that there was one point right after a negative wave leading into a positive one, where I was confronted by four versions of me all with a unique personality. My mind kinda scrolled through each one until landing on a particular personality which seemed to be a "good one," this personality manifested into the women, sex, conception, family symbolism thing. This personality also seemed truest to myself especially from childhood. So if I gained anything out of this besides... "yea dude, your stuck for now, you can visit here but you can't stay, go have a kid and we can work on dying." It was which of my personalities is the most wholesome.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_dmt
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
roacode_vaporized
roacode_inhaled
This is my first post on blue light, I've known about the forums for a while and figured I'd post here if I ever felt like reporting a trip, as simply recalling it through text and getting feedback can be helpful in deciphering the more riddling experiences.
Anyway, about a week or two ago my pot dealer kindly gave me about one trip worth of dmt that he had synthesized, knowing I had never tried it. I graciously accepted and waited about a week until it seemed like the right time to dive in. I've befriended lsd and mushrooms in the past, and there are some definite similarities and during my dmt trip there was certainly a sense of eerie nostaliga, but I couldn't put my finger on when I had been there before.
So I decided to roll a joint with it, put about a thumbnail of grass at the tip of the joint, and filled the rest with grass/dmt. Also had a carb in the joint. I turned my lights off and had no music playing, sat on my bed and began. I began to feel it about half way through the joint, but maintained and managed to smoke the entire thing. Immediately, the same ego that had been the catalyst of me wanting to be able to smoke the entire thing, started dissolving at a very fast rate. My thoughts or voices or whatever began telling me a familiar line reminiscent of "THAT part is over now, it's starting, THAT part of you is dead now as it has no place here." So I let go of that ego and laid on my back with my eyes closed. I may have had OEV's but never tried as it seemed pointless and ego driven to try. I knew I was smoking this stuff to learn something rather than to entertain myself. After closing my eyes and laying down it becomes a little difficult to recall the trip linearly, but I certainly remember the peaks and general themes. It started with kaleidoscopic patterns but quickly became something much more symbolic. The trip consisted of good and bad waves, I can most easily describe this by detailing what was going on during either type of wave and which emotions evoked that type, (though it's more like the emotions were evoked by the waves rather than the other way... ANYWAY.) Positive waves entailed images of women very reminiscent of Alex Gery's artwork, starting with just women, then evolving into hetero sexual imagery, then evolving into pregnancy and conception, then evolving into family unit imagery all with strong feelings and associations of chaotic and wild but still "A OK (everything is ok)" type sexual love similar to but on a higher level than good acid waves. During these parts, time became exponential and eventually led to spiraling infinities that were not quite circular as they were progressing (like a spiral.) These good waves led to unbelievable peaks at which points I would be riding some sort of truth knowledge loop that worked out into two thoughts both contradicting the other but at the same time holding a grand truth. It was the acceptance of the grand truth being infinitely ambiguous along with the acceptance of not knowing, not needing to know, and (most difficult) not wanting to know that allowed my deepest reaches. I also noticed that while going through these tunnels, I would fall off of them whenever I let my right brained notions dominate the left ones (I imagine it could happen in the opposite manner, I just happen to lean on my right brain a little more than my left.) Both polarities had grand notions representing them, the right tended to be very egotistical, some sort of "ALL of this is in MY head" type of thing, where the left would catch up with some sort of "then ALL of this cannot exist if you TRULY believe that." followed with a final notion of "wait, It's impossible for me TO believe that." These of course, were not my exact thoughts, just the best i can do to give somewhat of an example. The negative energy aspects of the trip, had a lot to do with ego. It was represented by ambition, competition, fame, masturbation, homo sexuality, and narcissism. These things had their appeal and resonated with a different sort of "fun" feeling quite different from and not as "good" as the love euphoria from the good waves. In the end these negative waves of course led to negative "peaks" which were... "unpleasant." Though after the fact I believe the best technique for deep journeys is to accept both the negative and positive as integral and necessary forces with one being no better than the other. And that the goal is to always try to stay exactly in between the two and achieve "neutral spiraling euphoria," where your able to tap into very high understandings of things. Another thing to mention is that there was one point right after a negative wave leading into a positive one, where I was confronted by four versions of me all with a unique personality. My mind kinda scrolled through each one until landing on a particular personality which seemed to be a "good one," this personality manifested into the women, sex, conception, family symbolism thing. This personality also seemed truest to myself especially from childhood. So if I gained anything out of this besides... "yea dude, your stuck for now, you can visit here but you can't stay, go have a kid and we can work on dying." It was which of my personalities is the most wholesome.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_dmt
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
roacode_vaporized
roacode_inhaled
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sounds like you had a real positive experience. good stuff.
