Anyone want to share their personal stories of being addicted to PCP, MXE, Ketamine, DXM, nitrous, or any other dissociative? How did your habit start: Did it progress from experimenting once a month or so to daily use gradually, or did you basically start doing it all the time right off the bat? Have you managed to get clean? If so, how. Did you experience any withdrawal symptoms? What was your ROA, and how fast did your tolerance go up? How high did it get?
Dissociative (NMDA Receptor Antagonist) Addiction
- Thread starter DroneLore
- Start date
Why are you asking?
I am addicted to ketamine; although it was somewhat worse last year then it is now I would probably still have to call it being addicted. For me it started by trying ketamine after being very curious from a more psychedelic point of view as drugs I did before that were mushrooms, LSD and nitrous oxide, from then on it became a once every two to four weeks kind of thing, occasionally two times in one week too but sometimes a month or more would pass; I had no tolerance at all in that time a gram would litteraly last me four or five months. I tried it the first time very early 2009; around spring 2011 usage had gone up to every two weeks or even week and tolerance had gone up to a gram only lasting about a month. Somewhere around then I decided to try and use ketamine every day for a week as an experiment of kinds; an experiment with addiction in a way actually. After that I got the brilliant idea 'lets get 10 grams; that'll last me almost a year'; which in reality lasted me about a month, that's how fast tolerance was rising by this point. All of that summer I did ketamine daily most of the time occasionally taking a one week break or so but it had gotten quite daily by the end of it with tolerance up to nearly a gram in a dáy. Then there was this two week period in which there was no K; was a huge discussion about it in the bluelight europe subforum too since that was apperantly all over europe; when it returned tolerance had gone down due to the two week break but I instantly started doing it daily again. Then later that autumn 2011 I first experienced K-cramps; holy fucking shit that gave a new dimension to pain.
I'll skip ahead time since you can assume I did ketamine atleast 2-5 days a week for quite some time, sometimes brief periods of daily or nearly daily. Móre then a gram in a day started to become normal; with records of up to 5 grams in a day and K-cramps started comming more often too. Around summer 2012 I did ketamine every day around 3-4 grams for a month and ended with peeing blood and a hospital visit weigting only 43 kg at 1.76m (I had also done some speed that summer); after that I decided never again absolute daily use; it was constant K-cramps (which I had atleast once a month anyway) and then just doing more K on top of it to cover them up and starting to get bladder pain and then doing more K to cover that up to eventually snortings grams in a day while watching yourself fall apart nearly litteraly. Very fucked up stuff. So yes then early autumn 2012 I went back to just weekend use which still consistent of doing serveral grams every weekend but no more K-cramps and for a while no bladder issues either. Those did come back but that was around midwinter and around then I did fentanyl for a month; and soon after that went to costa rica for a month where I did no K at all; since I'm back I háve been doing it on the weekends but the compulsion of the addiction broke. Its not as compulsive and I've taken a good look at issues in my life since for me doing K was for a big part just about escapism; and I did not know what I was fleeing from but basically I was trying to be an escapist from my life itself; I changed the plans I have for the future but really I don't want a life without dissociatives. I do not want a live without ketamine. I really know for a fact that I WANT to do it atleast once a month, although maybe not every week and it would be wonderful if I would be capable some day to keep it around and not do it all, now I have to get me some more every time I want it since I can't keep it lying around and nót do it; but just being strict in not buying too much at the start of the weekend makes it doable.
By the way always nasal (I do think I may have a tiny hole high in between my nostrils, I'm not sure and I'm sort of scared about that) but other then that no harm has come from how heavily I abused it the past few years; my bladder and kidneys are both healthy and fine, I've only had K-cramps once since like oktober and especially since that sober months in costa rica, even though I do ketamine about every week its nothing like it was, I'm hoping to get down, just by will power, back to once every two weeks because tolerance wise, that'd be a bit healthier.
The compulsion to do more once properly deeply addicted is insane; I snorted it off the floor, have many times searched my room for hours if there wasn't the tiniest remaining bit; if I have money I wíll typically get more ketamine, unless its early midweek; and if I get offered I can't ever say no. That last also goes for nitrous oxide; I just really love dissociation; really really love it; the K-holes are my favorite and the absurdistic way of thinking, how it feels on the body, I just love it. Its really, really my drug of choise in that aspect.
I am addicted to ketamine; although it was somewhat worse last year then it is now I would probably still have to call it being addicted. For me it started by trying ketamine after being very curious from a more psychedelic point of view as drugs I did before that were mushrooms, LSD and nitrous oxide, from then on it became a once every two to four weeks kind of thing, occasionally two times in one week too but sometimes a month or more would pass; I had no tolerance at all in that time a gram would litteraly last me four or five months. I tried it the first time very early 2009; around spring 2011 usage had gone up to every two weeks or even week and tolerance had gone up to a gram only lasting about a month. Somewhere around then I decided to try and use ketamine every day for a week as an experiment of kinds; an experiment with addiction in a way actually. After that I got the brilliant idea 'lets get 10 grams; that'll last me almost a year'; which in reality lasted me about a month, that's how fast tolerance was rising by this point. All of that summer I did ketamine daily most of the time occasionally taking a one week break or so but it had gotten quite daily by the end of it with tolerance up to nearly a gram in a dáy. Then there was this two week period in which there was no K; was a huge discussion about it in the bluelight europe subforum too since that was apperantly all over europe; when it returned tolerance had gone down due to the two week break but I instantly started doing it daily again. Then later that autumn 2011 I first experienced K-cramps; holy fucking shit that gave a new dimension to pain.
I'll skip ahead time since you can assume I did ketamine atleast 2-5 days a week for quite some time, sometimes brief periods of daily or nearly daily. Móre then a gram in a day started to become normal; with records of up to 5 grams in a day and K-cramps started comming more often too. Around summer 2012 I did ketamine every day around 3-4 grams for a month and ended with peeing blood and a hospital visit weigting only 43 kg at 1.76m (I had also done some speed that summer); after that I decided never again absolute daily use; it was constant K-cramps (which I had atleast once a month anyway) and then just doing more K on top of it to cover them up and starting to get bladder pain and then doing more K to cover that up to eventually snortings grams in a day while watching yourself fall apart nearly litteraly. Very fucked up stuff. So yes then early autumn 2012 I went back to just weekend use which still consistent of doing serveral grams every weekend but no more K-cramps and for a while no bladder issues either. Those did come back but that was around midwinter and around then I did fentanyl for a month; and soon after that went to costa rica for a month where I did no K at all; since I'm back I háve been doing it on the weekends but the compulsion of the addiction broke. Its not as compulsive and I've taken a good look at issues in my life since for me doing K was for a big part just about escapism; and I did not know what I was fleeing from but basically I was trying to be an escapist from my life itself; I changed the plans I have for the future but really I don't want a life without dissociatives. I do not want a live without ketamine. I really know for a fact that I WANT to do it atleast once a month, although maybe not every week and it would be wonderful if I would be capable some day to keep it around and not do it all, now I have to get me some more every time I want it since I can't keep it lying around and nót do it; but just being strict in not buying too much at the start of the weekend makes it doable.
By the way always nasal (I do think I may have a tiny hole high in between my nostrils, I'm not sure and I'm sort of scared about that) but other then that no harm has come from how heavily I abused it the past few years; my bladder and kidneys are both healthy and fine, I've only had K-cramps once since like oktober and especially since that sober months in costa rica, even though I do ketamine about every week its nothing like it was, I'm hoping to get down, just by will power, back to once every two weeks because tolerance wise, that'd be a bit healthier.
The compulsion to do more once properly deeply addicted is insane; I snorted it off the floor, have many times searched my room for hours if there wasn't the tiniest remaining bit; if I have money I wíll typically get more ketamine, unless its early midweek; and if I get offered I can't ever say no. That last also goes for nitrous oxide; I just really love dissociation; really really love it; the K-holes are my favorite and the absurdistic way of thinking, how it feels on the body, I just love it. Its really, really my drug of choise in that aspect.