Already addicted to benzos
Shit man, ween down from daily use and spread out your benzo consumption so you can enjoy them again and they it's more cost effective taking this approach as well. I usually people to avoid becoming obsessed with just one drug. It's better to vary what you take, in my opinion, so as to avoid drug dependency, never mind that fuzzy, bullshit term, addiction, to etymology of which means literally "spoken for" – that's why "diction" is in its roots. Kick that dependency / bad habit before it compromises your freedom, and don't play into societal expectations regarding recreational drug use.
but that was a 0.1g shot IV.
That's too much, particularly with little to no tolerance and via direct injection. No wonder. That's far too intense to enjoy. Think about it like this → the difference between Adderall (amphetamine sulfate, et al.) and Meth (methamphetamine.hcl) is relatively small in terms of pharmacodynamics. Chemically meth is the n-methyl derivative of amphetamine. They only differ by one carbon and two tiny hydrogens attached to the nitrogen atom. The exact same differences exist between MDA and MDMA. So when you consider how many mgs of Adderall doctors typically prescribe to patients – and how 90 mg spread out over the day is considered a hefty daily dose – it seems unwise and unhealthy to shoot up 100 mg of meth. Even if you have an initial rush you're going to have to deal with being spun the fuck out and useless for hours and hours after that. And there's also the increased chance of having a life-altering, crippling stroke which is a real threat to people mainlining copious amounts of crystal meth.
It's like if once a lunar cycle on the full moon a big group of us get together a throw a full moon lunar rave event and everyone takes 20 mg hits of the drug, Colour, aka 4-hydroxy-methylethyltryptamine or 4-HO-MET. Most people take one or two hits, and some daring types take three, even four hits, four really being a challenge. Yet for some reason, at each party, you consistently take eight hits all at once, a whopping 160 mg chugged down with a few gulps of our favorite non-alcoholic beverage. And you survive each time, but not without dealing with an overwhelming and exhausting experience until you convince yourself that you must just not like psychedelics and can't understand why others say they do.
What I'm saying is: try taking less and via a different RoA. Give your poor veins a chance to recover if you're mainlining a lot. Chances are you'll be alive a lot longer than you might expect to be, and you only get this one body, just one mostly hairless chattering primate homo sapiens sapiens. The final set of teeth on those things, for example come in kinda early, and then you get four more "wisdom" teeth that are often impacted and formerly a much bigger cause of human deaths…
Not even morphine or Xanax could put me down after 5 days awake I began to go into a psychosis.
Yeah, anyone will if you let your dopamine deplete and combine that with sleep deprivation. Meth. You're doing it wrong.
So who knows maybe it wasnt meth or it was like super meth.
No, it was meth. Most people wouldn't swallow down three back-to-back 30 mg IR Adderalls followed by an addition 10 mg dose of it for the road. Most people would expect to feel like hot wet garbage if they took that much. So trust me – this is essentially doing the equivalent or worse with a more potent drug. And I'm not trying to come down on you like some self-righteous Dudley Do-Right prick, either. I'm an avid fan and user of recreational drugs, a self-styled psychonaut (corny as that sounds), former clandestine chemist, and civilized peace advocate interesting in defunding police departments, decriminalizing drug possession, and eventually ending the so-called Drug War and repealing global drug prohibition. I'm something of a heathen Libertine (though I'm no Marquis de Sade or anything), so believe me when I say, "take better care of yourself; you'll be glad you did later while those around you who might not heed that type of advise wither away in ignoble atrophy, never knowing the satisfaction of long-game, long-term gratification that comes after a spell of self-discipline life balancing.
Either way, let us know how it goes, and also remember it's ok to ask for help. All of us are only human – babbling monkey beasts with ridiculously protracted terms of infancy, childhood, and adolescence compared to other mammals.
