Well, there have been two phone calls within the last week that started with those words. My reaction was shock and surprise.
The first was: 'Didja hear Stewart died?'
Fuck, man. Stewart was this dude in NA in my area who I didn't know very well but respected greatly.
He was a tall, Muslim dude who had 19 years clean. He was fuckin' hardcore, man. He didn't fuck around with nonsense and had this air of patience about him. He never forgot those days when he was shooting dope and living in an abandoned car in North Philly.
He taught me how to give a REAL hug (not one of those worthless, insincere 'pat you on the back' hugs. He would say something along the lines of 'either hug me like you'll never see me again or don't hug me at all'.
The second time was: 'Didja hear about Dave? He died last night.'
I'm affected by this. Dave worked at the local homeless shelter and I could really relate to him. We shared the same issues with rage and violent reactions. We always seemed to share the same type of issues at the same times. He was one of the few dudes in NA that would call me to see if I was doing okay.
Dammit, Dave. You had a fuckin' heart on you, brother. I remember that you confided in me just two days ago about the dude who died in front of you at the shelter. It wasn't your fault, man. You called the ambo, you performed CPR and you gave the dude comfort. The State Hospital is huge man, it ain't your fault the ambo went to the wrong building.
I remember your stories of being in the gangs in the 70's and 80's. I was impressed that you knew I was skin but still hung with me and didn't care what color I was. I respect that you had the willingness to associate with a newcomer like me.
Haha! I can't stop smiling about how, only a few months ago, you said 'I had to make him leak, Jeff, I had to.' (he was referring to his addict brother who was threatening violence on their mom. He grabbed a handfull of pens and jabbed them in the dude's forehead! LOL!!!!!!)
Dude, I considered you the black version of me. I already miss the stories of all the nuts you used to hang out with.
Well, you guys don't have to deal with the bullshit anymore. I selfishly miss you both. Maybe someday I will have the qualities I admired about you.
I only wonder... who will be the third?
The first was: 'Didja hear Stewart died?'
Fuck, man. Stewart was this dude in NA in my area who I didn't know very well but respected greatly.
He was a tall, Muslim dude who had 19 years clean. He was fuckin' hardcore, man. He didn't fuck around with nonsense and had this air of patience about him. He never forgot those days when he was shooting dope and living in an abandoned car in North Philly.
He taught me how to give a REAL hug (not one of those worthless, insincere 'pat you on the back' hugs. He would say something along the lines of 'either hug me like you'll never see me again or don't hug me at all'.
The second time was: 'Didja hear about Dave? He died last night.'
I'm affected by this. Dave worked at the local homeless shelter and I could really relate to him. We shared the same issues with rage and violent reactions. We always seemed to share the same type of issues at the same times. He was one of the few dudes in NA that would call me to see if I was doing okay.
Dammit, Dave. You had a fuckin' heart on you, brother. I remember that you confided in me just two days ago about the dude who died in front of you at the shelter. It wasn't your fault, man. You called the ambo, you performed CPR and you gave the dude comfort. The State Hospital is huge man, it ain't your fault the ambo went to the wrong building.
I remember your stories of being in the gangs in the 70's and 80's. I was impressed that you knew I was skin but still hung with me and didn't care what color I was. I respect that you had the willingness to associate with a newcomer like me.
Haha! I can't stop smiling about how, only a few months ago, you said 'I had to make him leak, Jeff, I had to.' (he was referring to his addict brother who was threatening violence on their mom. He grabbed a handfull of pens and jabbed them in the dude's forehead! LOL!!!!!!)
Dude, I considered you the black version of me. I already miss the stories of all the nuts you used to hang out with.
Well, you guys don't have to deal with the bullshit anymore. I selfishly miss you both. Maybe someday I will have the qualities I admired about you.
I only wonder... who will be the third?
