For the most part I can finally say I'm clean...again. I spent a week at my mom's and pretty much kept myself locked inside the house and cut myself off from everyone then let myself get dope sick as fuck. It's been about ten days since I took dope or suboxone and I feel pretty normal, plus I look healthier...
However...today I'm going back to the basement at my grandparents. I have been anticipating this the entire week, going back means I can get dope...easier at least. I have even had dreams about getting rigs and shooting up, plus I might get paid my $150 from watching the kids two weeks ago (my aunt is such a slacker when it comes to paying me) so it's not like I couldn't afford a half. It's so tempting.
The only reason I don't want to is because I am finally starting to get back into a normal routine. I am up by 8am now instead of barely going to sleep by that time. Plus today I get to go to apply at this job a homie told me about. I'm praying I get it too.
I really just don't know what to do, well I know what's right. But what I want and what I need are two completely different things...guess it's just the junkie inside of me talking.
However...today I'm going back to the basement at my grandparents. I have been anticipating this the entire week, going back means I can get dope...easier at least. I have even had dreams about getting rigs and shooting up, plus I might get paid my $150 from watching the kids two weeks ago (my aunt is such a slacker when it comes to paying me) so it's not like I couldn't afford a half. It's so tempting.
The only reason I don't want to is because I am finally starting to get back into a normal routine. I am up by 8am now instead of barely going to sleep by that time. Plus today I get to go to apply at this job a homie told me about. I'm praying I get it too.
I really just don't know what to do, well I know what's right. But what I want and what I need are two completely different things...guess it's just the junkie inside of me talking.