Despite attempts to recover without help I have failed miserably.

[Mjl8908]

My wife found Suboxone in which I was using to detox from a brief opiate bender. Full story, I was in a work related accident leaving me with a severe tounge laceration and pain that was very hard to manage. I was in the hospital for 3 days. As I had been clean for 5 plus years, my pride told me that I could handle opiate assisted relief. I was mistaken. It ended with me using Suboxone to curtail my withdrawal from the medication that I was "so confident that I was able to handle". I know that my addiction lied to me but the thought of getting high wasnt even crossing my kind. Despite this, the first sign of discomfort after stoping my medication lead to my decision to start taking Suboxone. Of course my mind had been altered and I used the Suboxone much longer than originally anticipated. This app culminated with my wife finding 2 strips that i left out accidentally. My wife was steadfast throughout our 3 year marriage and 5 year relationship that if I were to use, she would leave. I used this as my excuse to attempt to stop without her knowledge. Being honest with myself at this point, I am not confident that would have ever happened. Now, my wife is trying to decide if she wants to stay with me. I do not blame her in any way for this dilema. I am now rapidly cutting my down down with her complete knowledge, but doing so knowing the limbo I have created for myself is difficult. Any words of encouragement or advice is appreciated. I feel as if I am being honest with myself but my sled confidence to successfully do this is very low. I hope I do not get bumped because of the commonality of my issue, as direct support is what I am seeking. If you've made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read, and please feel free to give any input or criticism. I love my wife with all my heart, so I am willing to let her go because she deserves better. I pray for her support and love, but there is no guarantee. I've ran led sufficiently, so I'll hope for a kind word. Thanks

 

[nznity]

Man idk if you've tried this before, but Loperamide+Gabapentin+Clonazepam is the best combo for detoxing on your own. Seriously, it takes away at least 70% of the wds and makes the unberable symptoms berable, for example when i take 20 mg Loperamide 16-20 hrs after my last morphine dose, it takes like 3 hrs to kick in but when it kicks in i'm no longer sweating, alleviates the headaches,stops the dhiarrea and the restless legs 50% at least. If u add gabapentin to this i get hungry, it lowers even more the pain on the legs, the headaches and all of the other symptoms. You're still gonna feel some withdrawal but i can assure you that it makes it bearable, i've detoxed like 10 times in the past 3 years like this when things have gone out of control. Oh and the clonazepam also works for the restless legs, the anxiety and to get some sleep. I don't know if you've tried this combo before but if u haven't you should at least try it. Seriously without these meds i would have never got clean on my own. Stay safe.
NZN

 

[Missgreenewne]

Loperamide is a godsend for withdrawals. I have always wondered why more people don’t know about it.

 

[bdaver]

I'll just say this- you are not alone. Your story is very similar to mine. Ex heroin addict, clean for 15+ years, back injury, prescribed Oxy, five years later I'm in way too deep. My partner wont talk to me and wants me gone. It's very hard on my family. The upshot is I'm 49 days clean and I had another nerve block in my back today and they offered me Oxy to take there and take home and I said no. It was incredibly hard to get to this point and I basically did it without Gabapentin and Lorezapam (I had issues with Lyrica/pregabilin as well as benzos) or without support from the people closest to me. It fucking sucks as the anxiety/depression/insomnia can put you in a place where you want to relapse. But I haven't. You just gotta put one foot in front of the other (I honestly say this like it's a mantra) and focus on the things you can do and not everything at once. Just my two cents. Good luck.

 

[nznity]

I'll just say this- you are not alone. Your story is very similar to mine. Ex heroin addict, clean for 15+ years, back injury, prescribed Oxy, five years later I'm in way too deep. My partner wont talk to me and wants me gone. It's very hard on my family. The upshot is I'm 49 days clean and I had another nerve block in my back today and they offered me Oxy to take there and take home and I said no. It was incredibly hard to get to this point and I basically did it without Gabapentin and Lorezapam (I had issues with Lyrica/pregabilin as well as benzos) or without support from the people closest to me. It fucking sucks as the anxiety/depression/insomnia can put you in a place where you want to relapse. But I haven't. You just gotta put one foot in front of the other (I honestly say this like it's a mantra) and focus on the things you can do and not everything at once. Just my two cents. Good luck.

fuck the pain pills man, you're 50 days clean,Nice milestone you have a long way to go but seriously congratulations on that achievement. Getting clean is always worth it in the end,

Loperamide is a godsend for withdrawals. I have always wondered why more people don’t know about it.

IKR DUDE SERIOUSLY WITHOUT LOPERAMIDE DEALS WITH A LOT OF UNNECESARY PAIN THROUGH THE ACUTE STAGE. all the sweating and the pain in the legs is gone within 3 hrs after a 20mg+ dose is taken. Loperamide imo is mandatory to get clean.
NZN

 

[cj]

Your not alone man! You should be very proud you put 5 years together! You were in severe pain and you took opiates as prescribed. The docs didnt taper you so you tried doing it yourself with a medicine designed for opiate addiction. Now yes oing through a doctor would have been better but i don't think you should beat yourself up too much. That said how you handle this situation will define you for awhile. My advice is go to a doctor and tell them whats going on. They can give you meds to help the withdrawal and your wife will see that this was isolated incident and that your serious about recovery.

 

[KraziKat]

Have you looked into kratom?

 

[Nicomorphinist]

Loperamide is a godsend for withdrawals. I have always wondered why more people don’t know about it.

There are two reasons for that, the first is that any "poor person's methadone" is going to cut in on the power and profits of the Drug Rehabilitation Indu$try and ability of a small number of corrupt law enforcement types and politicians to collect tips. That is why they have switched from the usual mode of handling underground opioid information, which is partially obscurantist, to pressuring manufacturers, wholesalers, and retailers -- things like selling no more than 24 tablets at once.

The second is that it is not innocuous, which is the reason that it is not used officially as an analgesic and for detoxification and maintenance. Low and moderate doses for withdrawal symptoms, as part of an integrated approach, can make all the difference. It actually doesn't take a lot of it. Loperamide is the most politically correct member of a four-member family of 4-phenylpiperidine opioids whose prototype is diphenoxylate.

Consider that these are racaemic forms of a pethidine congener and substituted prodine, the canonical synthesis of the prototype starting from norpethidine and normethadone. They are not used at analgesic doses due their extreme cardiotoxicity and moderate cumulative neurotoxicity. Including apparently from LPP, an MPTP analogue which crosses the blood brain barrier about as much as loperamide does, which it must to create its euphoric and analgesic effects, a pale imitation of another Janssen invention, piritramide (Dipidolor) as well as isomethadone in my experience. In the United States, loperamide was originally a Schedule II controlled substance,, moved to Schedule V in July 1977 and decontrolled in April 1982. Diphenoxylate is Schedule II but Schedule V when one-fortieth of the therapeutic dose of atropine is added to discourage injection, and difenoxin is in Schedule I but Schedule IV with the atropine.