This is going to be a very lomg post and i apologize, but here we go.
So back on December 21st i decided to try MDMA. I took .3 grams total. It was amazing. Such a fun roll and had the time of my life. 3 weeks later i went to the club and took .2 grams. It was an okay roll but the DJ sucked so it wasnt to much fun. On January 25th, i decided to take .2 grams of molly at a rave, then i dropped a hit of acid. My roll took the whole trip, but when i stopped rolling, i started my acid trip. I really wasnt expecting anything to crazy, and thats where i was wrong. I didnt hallucinate much at first, all i was seeing was beautiful distorted colors and shit. Then we left the rave and went to smoke a few blunts. As we walked out the rave, the image of the rave slowly went to the back of my mind and it was like i had eyes 20 feet begind me and i seen everything from that far back. This is where i realized i was gunna start tripping. We got in the car and started driving and smoking. I didnt realize this was gunna up my trip. My friend played Danny Browns Blunt After Blunt to keep me in a good mindset cause im a huge Danny Brown and Kanye fan. I just had a huge body high here and really enjoyed myself. Than we picked up a friend and i looked at the radio and all of the buttons came out and were dancing for me. It was like they did it for my entertainment. Then i looked at glowsticks on the ground and they were moving like snakes by my feet. This started making me feel really uncomfortable. My friend had said something to me and i looked over at him and his face fucking melted off his body! I looked at everyone else in the car and their faces melted as well and i just wanted to go home. So to try and make this a little shorter, my trip wasnt really good and i was freaked out by it. I rolled with .2 one more time on Valentines day this year. My roll was good until we left and smoked and i started feeling really uncomfortable. I started having an anxiety attack. I didnt realize what it was though. I went home and woke up the next day feeling fine. On Febuary 20th, i woke up feeling out of it, like kind of spacey. I had am anxiety attack Febuary 22nd and had to go to the hospital. Today is April 20th, and i stillfeel out of it. The only progression ive seen is that my anxiety is a little more controllable, ive been excercising 3-4 times a week, i take kolonopin when i need it, i take htp-5, and i been trying to stay busy. I read forums all the time because i love the positive feedback and knowing that people have gone through this to. I just want to know if anyones experienced this and if theyve came out of the derealization. I hate self-diagnosing myself but im positive i have derealization. What do you guys think i should do and what will happen?
So back on December 21st i decided to try MDMA. I took .3 grams total. It was amazing. Such a fun roll and had the time of my life. 3 weeks later i went to the club and took .2 grams. It was an okay roll but the DJ sucked so it wasnt to much fun. On January 25th, i decided to take .2 grams of molly at a rave, then i dropped a hit of acid. My roll took the whole trip, but when i stopped rolling, i started my acid trip. I really wasnt expecting anything to crazy, and thats where i was wrong. I didnt hallucinate much at first, all i was seeing was beautiful distorted colors and shit. Then we left the rave and went to smoke a few blunts. As we walked out the rave, the image of the rave slowly went to the back of my mind and it was like i had eyes 20 feet begind me and i seen everything from that far back. This is where i realized i was gunna start tripping. We got in the car and started driving and smoking. I didnt realize this was gunna up my trip. My friend played Danny Browns Blunt After Blunt to keep me in a good mindset cause im a huge Danny Brown and Kanye fan. I just had a huge body high here and really enjoyed myself. Than we picked up a friend and i looked at the radio and all of the buttons came out and were dancing for me. It was like they did it for my entertainment. Then i looked at glowsticks on the ground and they were moving like snakes by my feet. This started making me feel really uncomfortable. My friend had said something to me and i looked over at him and his face fucking melted off his body! I looked at everyone else in the car and their faces melted as well and i just wanted to go home. So to try and make this a little shorter, my trip wasnt really good and i was freaked out by it. I rolled with .2 one more time on Valentines day this year. My roll was good until we left and smoked and i started feeling really uncomfortable. I started having an anxiety attack. I didnt realize what it was though. I went home and woke up the next day feeling fine. On Febuary 20th, i woke up feeling out of it, like kind of spacey. I had am anxiety attack Febuary 22nd and had to go to the hospital. Today is April 20th, and i stillfeel out of it. The only progression ive seen is that my anxiety is a little more controllable, ive been excercising 3-4 times a week, i take kolonopin when i need it, i take htp-5, and i been trying to stay busy. I read forums all the time because i love the positive feedback and knowing that people have gone through this to. I just want to know if anyones experienced this and if theyve came out of the derealization. I hate self-diagnosing myself but im positive i have derealization. What do you guys think i should do and what will happen?
