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Mental Health Depression MEGA Thread - DepressionTalk + Over 100 Links of Info

I've been clean for a while now but I'm still having issues with sleep. I'm still taking klonopin (1mg/day) but lorazapam would probably be better for anxiety/insomnia but currently I do not have a doctor to see.

I wanted to go back to school this semester but am finding it hard without any support from family/friends.

Just felt like checking in, been a while since I posted in here.

-dp
 
^^ Hey dp, it has been a while!! Great to see you around though. Congrats on still being sober, that is excellent to hear <3
When will you be able to go back to school??

suessmayr said:
n3o - did you notice increased agitation or difficulty sleeping at the beginning? What do you think I should do with this sleep thing? Should I just suck it up and not even try to sleep, or should I keep taking benzos? It's been 2 consecutive nights using benzos and doxylamine now and it would be a tragedy if I became addicted again.
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Agitation? No.
Difficulty sleeping? Yes, definitely!

What time of the day are you taking the wellbutrin?? Is it possible to take it earlier?

I have been on it for 3 weeks now and it's no longer causing insomnia. Hopefully once your brain gets used to it, you won't be as affected by the stimulatory side-effects. In the meantime I think you should definitely TRY to sleep, because any sleep is better than no sleep. Just keep doing what you're doing, but do NOT increase your benzo usage, and hopefully you will be able to sleep just fine within a matter of days, 2 weeks maximum.
 
Yeah...last night I slept from 12am-2am just with doxylamine. Then I had to take temazepam to get back to sleep, but at least I only used benzos once that night.

I feel almost inconceivably fucking shitty these past few days. I'm constantly imagining how I could kill myself in any particular situation. It's really strange. And I just feel fucking messy with all this shit inside me - wellbutrin, lexapro, temazepam, doxylamine. Really hope I can feel better.
 
Yeah man, you have to be really careful when starting on wellbutrin because it can INCREASE suicidal thoughts for the first week you're on it. Coupled with sleep deprivation and having to use benzos even though you really don't want to, that could be a recipe for disaster.
What do you think?
Do you need to contact your psych to discuss the situation and see if there is something else they can give you to sleep?

Please always keep in mind that it's most likely just the medication making you have suicidal thoughts, it's NOT because you want to die. The suicidal thoughts will pass.

If your suicidal thoughts get more frequent or more intense, or if you actually want to act on them, you need to stop taking the wellbutrin immediately and call your psych.
 
^ had the same issue with wellbutrin. I've been on 5 different meds at various points in the past and I'm only 18.

I just wish there was a chemical that could get me motivated without a crash and without numbing me emotionally.

SSRI's made me more apathetic. Stims worked until I started getting super anxious from them.

I just moved to a new town so soon I will be finding a doctor and discussing my issues.

I don't want to have to be medicated as in the past, it didn't work for various reasons but I'm starting to wonder if I have no choice. I have a huge work load for my college classes but can't seem to get motivation to do any of it. I don't have a job either so I just feel like I'm doing nothing but can't be entertained or enjoy much of the work. My ADD, anxiety and depression seem to mix and multiply each others negative effects.
 
LogicSoDeveloped said:
My ADD, anxiety and depression seem to mix and multiply each others negative effects.
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This is a very common problem with mental health issues, so you're not alone. I wish you all the best with finding a good doctor in your new town <3
Would it help to just start tackling your school work one little thing at a time?? Whenever I go through depressive phases I have ZERO motivation to do my homework, and it all piles up and becomes too overwhelming to even start! Then I feel worse and more depressed because I'm not achieving anything.
But I find that if I just take one small task of my homework and complete that, it makes me feel so much better about myself that I can then feel more confident to start working on other things. Do you think that might help?
 
^ this is good. I was agonising over how to start an assignment recently and in the end just had to start at the top. I find, with depression, that I just don't have the mental strength or agility to be coming at things creatively. Like my focus isn't enough. So I just need to make a start of some kind.

n3o - I think it is likely that I'm feeling like this because of the wellbutrin. There doesn't seem to be any real emotional content behind this thinking, it's more obsessive; I pass cars and wonder what each one would do to my body. But I guess I need to give this a few more days. I can't concentrate on anything!
 
n3ophy7e said:
This is a very common problem with mental health issues, so you're not alone. I wish you all the best with finding a good doctor in your new town <3
Would it help to just start tackling your school work one little thing at a time?? Whenever I go through depressive phases I have ZERO motivation to do my homework, and it all piles up and becomes too overwhelming to even start! Then I feel worse and more depressed because I'm not achieving anything.
But I find that if I just take one small task of my homework and complete that, it makes me feel so much better about myself that I can then feel more confident to start working on other things. Do you think that might help?
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Man this girl is fucking brilliant.

That is also why I dropped out of college. Once I get help for my issues I may go back to school!!
 
^^ Depression is so insidious like that huh!! It can sabotage a lot of our efforts that we make to improve our situation. But that doesn't mean that depression will beat us. We are always in control, and there is always that strong person inside of us waiting to take control when it gets a chance.

I hope you are able to go back to school soon soundsystem :) <3

suessmayr said:
n3o - I think it is likely that I'm feeling like this because of the wellbutrin. There doesn't seem to be any real emotional content behind this thinking, it's more obsessive; I pass cars and wonder what each one would do to my body. But I guess I need to give this a few more days. I can't concentrate on anything!
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Stay on the right track man, you'll be okay. They are just fleeting thoughts, you don't even have to pay any attention to them at all. You're stronger than that <3
 
For what it's worth..... when I first started buproprion, I *did* experience some random, horribly suicidal ideation over some rather petty issues...... which is a highly unusual direction of thought for me. However, those disappeared within a week or two.

BL helped a lot during that phase. :)

As for disturbing my sleep, I only had to avoid taking it past 6pm. But I also had the benefit of starting on IR pills, and from what I understand the XR is what is most widely prescribed now.
I can imagine how those would cause more serious sleeping problems.

If it were me, I'd try cutting the last daily dose by half, and work down from there until sleep is attainable without waking up in the blues.

IIRC, substituting buproprion XR for IR pills isn't a 1-to-1 exchange.
Two 150mg XRs daily should accomplish what four daily 100mg IRs can, as far as alleviating depression. I just don't figure XR buproprion as being a very necessary thing, especially when it's causing sleep disturbances.
 
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i'm sufferning from depression as well and am prescribed wellbutrin for 1 week now. I'm in rehab actually to treat my addiction problems. the last weeks were hard for me because i had to cancel my thesis which i worked a lot for in the last year, i had to do all the horrible paperwork which i neglected over the last years and had a lot of fights with my girlfriend. now all these problems are solved and i thought i should feel better now. but instead i feel so empty. i've got no idea what i WANT to do with my life.
The first two days on wellbutrin felt like i was on amps, especially after i had a cup of coffee. i squit smoking without bigger problems but apart from that i dont notice effects. hopefully the doctors up my dosage this week...
 
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Hi VanWeyden, sorry to hear that you're struggling with depression as well, and that you had to give up your thesis. Will there be a chance to start doing your thesis again at some point? Perhaps next year?
Good luck with the Wellbutrin. I have been on it for 3.5 weeks now and despite maybe needing to increase my dose soon, I'm finding it very very helpful and with minimal side effects (I have had really nasty side effects with other anti-depressants).
Do you speak with a psychologist/therapist every day in rehab?

And congratulations on quitting smoking too!! :)
 
n3ophy7e said:
^^ Hey dp, it has been a while!! Great to see you around though. Congrats on still being sober, that is excellent to hear <3
When will you be able to go back to school??
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Hopefully this coming semester; least I'd like to do is take classes online - get my foot back in the door.

I just started taking 5-htp hopefully can work on keeping the pharmaceuticals out of me permanently.

n3ophy7e said:
This is a very common problem with mental health issues, so you're not alone. I wish you all the best with finding a good doctor in your new town <3
Would it help to just start tackling your school work one little thing at a time?? Whenever I go through depressive phases I have ZERO motivation to do my homework, and it all piles up and becomes too overwhelming to even start! Then I feel worse and more depressed because I'm not achieving anything.
But I find that if I just take one small task of my homework and complete that, it makes me feel so much better about myself that I can then feel more confident to start working on other things. Do you think that might help?
Click to expand...

Good advice - small things lead to bigger things. Having a routine, however light it may be will keep you on some path you can eventually trail off from.

-dp

edit: thought I'd add this video; completely explains who I am (at least the first half)...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7zt0aK7orw
 
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Unfortunately there is serious pressure to publish the research as fast as possible so others will finish my work and i will be among the authors but not as first authors as it was supposed to be. A lot of work is lost for me but its my top priority to get hold of my addiction and mental problems.

I see a therapist every day, four times a week in group therapy and once in single therapy. I have achieved a lot up to now and i have a good connection to my therapist so things are likely to get better.

For me its not the case that i am depressed all day every day. I am in a somewhat dysthymic mood most of the time and about once a week i fall into adeep dark hole. It hits me so fast i regularely need a day to realize what happened to me and then it is such a hard struggle to get out of that hole. I have no energy and no hope and need strong force to get me going again.

The last time it already seemed a bit easier. I have made a plan what to do when i get depressed and the wellbutrin gives a little extra support :-)
 
Good luck to you! Writing a thesis is incredibly stressful, and having all that other stuff going on in your life is surely not helping. It sounds like you've got this issue grasped firmly with both hands though, and are doing a good job of wrestling it to the ground. Just remember to hold it off the ground a bit, so that it can't recharge its energy ;)

I came across this blog post/article last night, and found that it really resonated with me. It is written from a relationship standpoint, but I really think that there is some general truth therein that would be applicable to many of us who suffer from/deal with depression on a regular basis. Any thoughts?
 
This article is really encouraging and contains a lot of truth. It reminds me of an aphorism of my beloved Friedrich Nietzsche:

"The greatest epoches of our lives begin where we are brave enough to relabel our most evil as our best."

I hope the translation is appropriate since english isnt my mother tongue...

Yes, im quite determined to win this war... ;-)
 
Have you also noticed the synergy between caffeine and wellbutrin? My coffee consumption kind of exploded over the last few days. Gives me quite a speedy feeling. Have to cut back with it cause im a hit agitated and cant sleep well.
 
Just wanted to say much of the advice & discussion in this thread has helped me a lot, thanks guys!
 
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