Mental Health Depression MEGA Thread - DepressionTalk + Over 100 Links of Info

[Asclepius]

^I can identify with this hun. I spent my 21st in a Hospital getting 'Therapy' so, you are not alone in this.(not that it doesnt change the situation for you) It can be very difficult feeling 'different' to your general peer group but if I had any words of wisdom I guess it would be that, as difficult as things are for you atm, accept yourself as a strong individual who is not mainstream atm. There will always be punishments for people who dont fit in/function in 'normal' traditions or who have 'problems' but I think buying into this too much can do even more damage to yourself.
You're obviously trying to improve your situation and many people in life, even great people have not gone down the 'normal' route.

That being said, with regard to anti-depressants- usually they are used in conjunction with DBT.
If you are finding it difficult to concentrate and retain information then it is making an already difficult situation even more difficult for you. They usually take a few weeks to take proper effect, so it is probably a good idea to go over what types of anti-depressive meds are available to you and the potential side effects etc.

What is you fear with regard to them/the side effects?
I would be adamant that a clinician inform me clearly about their recommendations, and why- even write/print out info for me on them(you can tell him/her that you find it difficult to retain info and you want to be clear about what you chose to put into your body). Lack of transparency between docs and clients always breeds mistrust and even further self doubt as to what decisions have been made down the road.
Dont worry too much about meds-there are alot of 'horror' stories...and these dont apply to everyone at all, you cant believe everything. Some may be exagerrated too and others may have to do with wrong diagnosis for people etc. Just make the most informed decision for yourself- It seems like you need something to help you through this.

Asclepius- glad you're feeling a little better, sounds like you're still in a really difficult place though. feeling unsafe is horrible, and the places we make that feel safe often aren't, take care of yourself.

feel like a rabbit in the headlights. i have to give a talk next week, and then one internationally next month. kinda looping between utter panic and tears, and numbness. i feel like i'm finally going to be exposed, to the whole fucking world, as an idiot.

hope you're both having a nice evening.

xxx

Thanks hun. Can you expand on 'the places we create often arent safe' - I think I get the gist of it but am just curious as to what you mean atm?

Am sure you are no idiot CU!! Its a lack of confidence (besides, often times it's 'Idiots' who get by in the world and achieve success just because of a strong sense of self-belief!).

Good luck with the public speaking hun- I admire anyone who can do it! BTW I dont know what its like over there but I know that the 'Toast Masters' groups over here can be really supportive and encouraging in helping people with public speaking. It may be different in Leeds? Dont know if you'd even have time to attend but I know that they have a drop-in option where you can just attend and never have to participate but get tips and support on nervousness around it etc??

 

[soundsystem00]

I am about to be rx'd stimulants and SSRIs...I heard that is a deadly combo, resulting in anger. I am worried, but am going to jump into it. Any thoughts?

 

[PendulumAM]

^I can identify with this hun. I spent my 21st in a Hospital getting 'Therapy' so, you are not alone in this.(not that it doesnt change the situation for you) It can be very difficult feeling 'different' to your general peer group but if I had any words of wisdom I guess it would be that, as difficult as things are for you atm, accept yourself as a strong individual who is not mainstream atm. There will always be punishments for people who dont fit in/function in 'normal' traditions or who have 'problems' but I think buying into this too much can do even more damage to yourself.
You're obviously trying to improve your situation and many people in life, even great people have not gone down the 'normal' route.

That being said, with regard to anti-depressants- usually they are used in conjunction with DBT.
If you are finding it difficult to concentrate and retain information then it is making an already difficult situation even more difficult for you. They usually take a few weeks to take proper effect, so it is probably a good idea to go over what types of anti-depressive meds are available to you and the potential side effects etc.

What is you fear with regard to them/the side effects?
I would be adamant that a clinician inform me clearly about their recommendations, and why- even write/print out info for me on them(you can tell him/her that you find it difficult to retain info and you want to be clear about what you chose to put into your body). Lack of transparency between docs and clients always breeds mistrust and even further self doubt as to what decisions have been made down the road.
Dont worry too much about meds-there are alot of 'horror' stories...and these dont apply to everyone at all, you cant believe everything. Some may be exagerrated too and others may have to do with wrong diagnosis for people etc. Just make the most informed decision for yourself- It seems like you need something to help you through this.

Thank you so much. I've always had problems focusing and retaining information after enough time has passed. No doctors have ever though I had ADD or ADHD because I've always done really well in school and college. Socially is where I'm failing.
I've looked on a bunch of websites for reviews of different antidepressants, including bluelight. I just see so many stories about people who have tried multiple SSRI's and all have either done nothing or just made things worse. It just scares the crap out of me. Physically feeling bad is one thing, but something that might change your mindset for the worse scares the crap out of me, you know? I also worry about being prescribed any benzos for anxiety since I have an addictive personality & have abused prescription painkillers and heroin in the past.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Thanks hun. Can you expand on 'the places we create often arent safe' - I think I get the gist of it but am just curious as to what you mean atm?

I didn't mean anything specific to you, as I don't know much about your situation. though you seem to isolate yourself and i know you have eating problems, neither route takes you anywhere safe. I meant coping mechanisms in general. The safest I ever felt was right in the arms of anorexia, because it prescribed a way to deal with every single thing in my life. But that worked backwards by making everything else unsafe, as in potentially psychologically distressing. anyway the anorexia was psychologically distressing too, so i couldn't win.

got into a similar thing with drinking recently, getting through the day by knowing i could get merrily drunk at night. but have been cutting down more recently.

thanks for the suggestion- there may be help. though i think i'm ok with the actual presentation, its the work i'm presenting that i'm not happy with. but yeah, support on many surrounding aspects would be good.

just finished working. so very very tired.

pendulum- sorry you're having a hard time. i can say that i have been prescribed SSRIs with positive effect on occasion, one disastrous but that was a well known (UK) scandal and not typical of SSRIs in general. they certainly didn't cure me as ended up on something which worked better initially for me but was horrendous coming off.

i certainly understand your reluctance but there is a chance they may help. i also suspect i'd be more inclined to write about an awful experience with medication than one that proceeded precisely as intended, so online accounts may be skewed. medical trial results are probably a better source of objective information. unfortunately iirc they revealed SSRIs to be as effective as a placebo. but the placebo effect is still an effect... (weak i know)

soundsystem - no idea i'm afraid. be vigilant with yourself when you jump i guess.

 

[paranoid android]

Thank you so much. I've always had problems focusing and retaining information after enough time has passed. No doctors have ever though I had ADD or ADHD because I've always done really well in school and college. Socially is where I'm failing.
I've looked on a bunch of websites for reviews of different antidepressants, including bluelight. I just see so many stories about people who have tried multiple SSRI's and all have either done nothing or just made things worse. It just scares the crap out of me. Physically feeling bad is one thing, but something that might change your mindset for the worse scares the crap out of me, you know? I also worry about being prescribed any benzos for anxiety since I have an addictive personality & have abused prescription painkillers and heroin in the past.

There are different types of anti-depressants then just SSRI's it just happens to be that SSRI's and SNRI's like cymbalta are the most prescribed and certainly most advertised. The anti-depressant that ended up helping my bipolar depression in the end was wellbutrin which does not even effect serotonin. It has never given me any withdrawals when stopping it and no real side effects. Unfortunately it is no good at all for anxiety but there are other anti-depressants such as tricyclics, mirtazapine, etc which doctors sometimes prescribe to people for depression with anxiety.

So there are other options if you want to avoid SSRI's.

 

[dilated_pupils]

@CU: No worries darlin!


^Thanks DP!

Have been only just put on them. Have been on so many SSRI's(bar lexapro) on and off during my life that I dont even remember half of the experiences anymore. I asked for alternatives but wasn't given any satisfactory response.
I have an idea about my problem but it seems Im not taken seriously by my Docter and the amount of therapy I can afford at the moment is limited to basic councelling/rehab(which Ive had already and isn't apt. as it did little to aid me toward getting any better the last time either. Am on a waiting list to see someone next year) .
Im seriously de-motivated about my situation TBH. Will probably have to get money/borrow from my family(which Is really not a good idea), if I am to get any help/Therapy . Just existing atm. Have alot of worry about how I am going to manage and get through study and other related situations.

It seems that they only hear the 'Depression' side of things and fail to hear any of the other issues that I have wanted to address(mood swings etc). So pissed of with the system. Dont have the energy to fight it anymore.
Ugh. sorry, bad day.

Will look into TRI's etc. Will pm you if anything more specific comes to mind. Thanks again.

I can completely relate - it seems impossible to find a doctor that is actually willing to listen to what you have to say and take it as advice towards helping you rather than looking at it as a concern.

It sucks that money is such a big factor in getting decent treatment/counseling - you shouldn't feel bad or anxious about requiring to borrow money from your family to get better (I'm sure that the outcome of getting help will equal more to not only yourself but those around you).

-dp

 

[Asclepius]

^Thanks mate! Ya, I think that's the only reason that they'll lend it to me! Lexapro seem to be kicking in somewhat atm. :D...although I still am slightly reluctant to face reality, after my shenanigans, Monday will tell.

@SS: Sorry man cant give you any advice, sure someone on here can. IF you're worried then hold tough til you get some decent councel- chances are perhaps what you perceive could become a reality, without some knowledge/wisdom to aid ya(just err'ing on the side of caution here ). Do take care pet.

@Pendulum: Let us know how things go with the med's and your situation atm hun, yeah? PA gave some real good advice there on meds too. Main thing is about what works for you (pardon the cliche!) Let us know whats going on with you, yeah?

I didn't mean anything specific to you, as I don't know much about your situation. though you seem to isolate yourself and i know you have eating problems, neither route takes you anywhere safe.

...got into a similar thing with drinking recently, getting through the day by knowing i could get merrily drunk at night. but have been cutting down more recently.

I know what you mean hun. Sorry, need certain things spelled out for me sometimes!

I watch my drinking too. Tend to rely on it to fill in emotional/boredom gaps(which isnt a problem in itself) but my family has a history and I have overdone it in the past. Its a sterotypical thing with Ed'ers. Once we are aware of it- thats the main thing!

Hope your doing alright?

 

[Ninae]

Hey,

Just thought I'd mention I've found that a combo of Loperamide and Gabapentin can both be good as an antidepressant and for drug cravings. Even if they do nothing on their own (which they don't for me) but the synergise well. Small doses like 1500 mg Gabapentin and 15 mg loperamide can do the trick, but you might have to go higher on loperamide (while going higher on Gabapentin in such small doses would be a waste - or not make much difference).

I have found this to be effective, especially for craving for opiates, though the effect seems quite short lasting (and take 2 hours or so to kick in) so you might have to redose throughout the day. But this is the only effective thing to stop cravings I have come upon. Both of these are also quite cheao and easy to come by. Save this tip for a rainy day!

 

[Jabberwocky]

ust dropping in to say hi really and see how anyone's doing? hope everyone's as well as can be.

have got my first (smaller, less stressful...) talk out the way and next isn't for a few weeks, so not too anxious yet even though i have shitloads of work to do. in the whole am feeling quite out of place in the depression thread today.

I watch my drinking too. Tend to rely on it to fill in emotional/boredom gaps(which isnt a problem in itself) but my family has a history and I have overdone it in the past. Its a sterotypical thing with Ed'ers. Once we are aware of it- thats the main thing!

its really interesting you say that. i haven't come across it as a stereotype but it wouldn't surprise me. though for both anorexia and bulimia (i know there are other eds but the ppl i met in groups/the clinic etc were all one of those) i notice you get people who really like their intoxicants (my category) and tend to be a bit, i dunno how to describe it other than deviant, in what i consider a good way. or they are very very straight laced, barely touch alcohol, follow all the rules, i.e. don't deviate. the divide, if there really is one and i've not just met a fluke bunch, seems a very odd one.

 

[dilated_pupils]

Lately I've been having really bad migraines, and been feeling not myself. I got an x-ray at the hospital the other week and they found something in my kidney, I'm waiting on my MRI & Cat Scan this week - hopefully I'll end up feeling better after I get the results.

-dp

 

[PendulumAM]

I feel like I was actually getting a little better for a while, but recently I've been getting worse. I don't want to see anyone at all. Not because I want to be alone, in fact, being alone is making everything 100 times worse and I just wish I had a friend, but because I know all I can do is muster up some shallow small talk and leave whoever I talk to thinking that I'm boring and uninteresting. So I sit here alone, the loneliness making me even more miserable and it is just becoming a vicious cycle. I cant think of anything that would make me happy. I just want to cry. I just wish someone would love me, and not in a romantic way. I've always wanted to know what its like to be loved by a parent. Or even a truly good friend.

 

[Fyasko.]

I feel like I was actually getting a little better for a while, but recently I've been getting worse. I don't want to see anyone at all. Not because I want to be alone, in fact, being alone is making everything 100 times worse and I just wish I had a friend, but because I know all I can do is muster up some shallow small talk and leave whoever I talk to thinking that I'm boring and uninteresting. So I sit here alone, the loneliness making me even more miserable and it is just becoming a vicious cycle. I cant think of anything that would make me happy. I just want to cry. I just wish someone would love me, and not in a romantic way. I've always wanted to know what its like to be loved by a parent. Or even a truly good friend.

i completely get you.
not just about the friend thing, but the whole parent thing too.
i see my friends/strangers laughing and getting along with their parents, it fucking sucks

anyways i was wondering if anyone had some insight on something stuck in my thoughts:
can stress cause chemical changes leading to depression? i think i remember something about the hormone Cortisol wreaking havoc on neurotransmitters. its just that i've gotten past the main- stressor in my life but im still depressed, and its fucking getting worse...

 

[Dave]

Cortisol is a simple little molecule that affects practically every system in the body. My mum has a rare condition called Addison's Disease where she is unable to produce cortisol, and I can tell you that it is just amazing how varied the symptoms are.

That being said, while I don't doubt that there's some effect, I couldn't tell you any specifics. Does it matter though? It sounds like the depression was probably underlying the stress, possibly made worse by it, but clearly not caused by it. Sorry to say.

 

[kosto1]

i've been perscriped xanax 1-1.5 mg xanax daily for my anxiety and to get rid of alcohol,fluvoxamine 100 mg every night for my depression,and flurazepame 30 mg for insomnia..i think that's kinda to much for a 16 years old,but I rly cant find a sense in anything..i'm drinking around 3-4 mg xanax already but i reduced my alcohol and weed.. my parents are aware of my situation ,but it seems no1 can realy help me..it's just on me, my friends are bunch of high school dropouts and alcoholics,druggies and it fascinates me that they are really suporrtive ,but that doesn't rly helps me..i still have some moments of happines but that's 10% of my time.going to take some psychological tests next weekend and i look forward to that. the psychiatris told me that i'm slowed down and my brain has already been lightly damaged,I can't continue this path anymore, it seems that it just leads to mental breakdown and suicide...

 

[The Rock Monster]

depression sucks.. but i dont think i have just depression. i was reading up on bipolar disorder earlier and found out with BPD II you are usually depressed, but have hypomanic/manic episodes, too. which is the case with me, the depression is the worst part of it. sure i might stay up for a day or two without sleeping, on a "manic high", but that doesnt last long.......the "depressive episodes" last so long.. my moods are really fucked up.. its not like im just depressed or manic, there's varying degrees of it. i have "normal" moods also.

i also have a substance abuse problem. i am definitely self medicating myself, and in doing so have developed a serious drug problem, which ive found to be worse than the depression.

IDK what to do, should i see a doctor? idk if more drugs is the right answer..sure its prescription drugs, but i always have abused prescription drugs, they are just as bad as street drugs.. i know i dont want to stay this way, but its so hard to break this cycle..

 

[Dave]

That may be the case, but you also need to keep in mind that self-diagnosis is more of a pitfall than effective. As well, the meds that they give for bipolar generally aren't of the abusable sort; often the side effects are less than pleasant.

If you think that you may have bipolar, then you really should see a mental health professional. Only they can properly diagnose you. I would recommend seeing a psychologist first, as they will be able to tell you if you need medication, but will try to treat you (if it isn't bipolar) without first. IME psychiatrists will try drugs first, which isn't the best tack to take if the problem isn't bipolar.

 

[The Rock Monster]

That may be the case, but you also need to keep in mind that self-diagnosis is more of a pitfall than effective. As well, the meds that they give for bipolar generally aren't of the abusable sort; often the side effects are less than pleasant.

If you think that you may have bipolar, then you really should see a mental health professional. Only they can properly diagnose you. I would recommend seeing a psychologist first, as they will be able to tell you if you need medication, but will try to treat you (if it isn't bipolar) without first. IME psychiatrists will try drugs first, which isn't the best tack to take if the problem isn't bipolar.

thanks for the advice.

i have been to numerous doctors, and theyve put me on all sorts of drugs (antidepressants, antipsycotics, benzos) that just clouded my mind. thats why i am thinking, is more drugs a good idea? idk tho, they have made a bnch of different diagnoses, so maybe i just havent gotten the right treatment

 

[dilated_pupils]

i have been to numerous doctors, and theyve put me on all sorts of drugs (antidepressants, antipsycotics, benzos) that just clouded my mind. thats why i am thinking, is more drugs a good idea? idk tho, they have made a bnch of different diagnoses, so maybe i just havent gotten the right treatment

Been there done that - you start wondering if the drugs create the diagnoses' more-so than the actual issues at hand which could normally be settled with simple therapy rather than a shot of thorazine.

What I'm doing now is working again with a psychologist & psychiatrist at the same practice. They can work together in treating a diagnoses or help discern the different issues that I have to deal with over taking medication & being zombified as a prerequisite to my good health.

So far I'm finding myself a bit antsy going back to a psych but I'm seeing it as necessary at this point to talk about even the most simple of things which have deluded me from progressing in an sense of normalcy. Finding life repetitive has always been a 'loop' for me, so I'm trying to work those things out.

“I am suffocated and lost when I have not the bright feeling of progression.” ~Margaret Fuller

*edit: just saw this quote thought it was pretty funny and pertained to what I'm trying to say

"People used to explore the dimensions of reality by taking LSD to make the world look weird. Now the world is weird and they take Prozac to make it look normal." ~Bangstrom

 

[Darksidesam]

http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro04/web1/kcoveleskie.html

High % Cocoa gives me a mood lift when im depressed,
Anyone else turn to the choccy for help?

 

[Dave]

It's good, but it's a mood elevator, and as such can foster dependence.

Smooth, sweet, delicious dependence. Mmmmm chocolate.