Mental Health Deperssion, Anxiety, and Depersonalization

[thatjames1130]

Hey guys, I'm new to this forum so I apologize if this topic is already covered or if I'm sounding redundant. So basically I've been feeling mentally unwell since the middle of July of this year (about 5 months). In July, I started having panic attacks and 24/7 worry about the possibility I could have Lyme Disease. My father has chronic Lyme, so once I started showing "similar" symptoms (mainly muscle twitching and jaw pain in the mornings) I started to panic due to the political controversy and uncertainty surrounding the disease. Dr. Google only added to (and maybe even created) all of my worries.Anyway, my worries got worse and worse until my dad eventually brought me to his LLMD (Lyme Literate Doctor). She evaluated me, took some bloodwork, and told me I was fine. I was relieved and feeling back to normal for all of about 2 days when I smoked some weed (as I usually did at nights) and had a very bad thought pattern where I thought maybe the doctor was wrong and I do actually have Lyme. Or maybe I have M.S.! The next morning I felt very strange. Severe brain fog, depression, and just overall feeling not myself (I later realized this is called depersonalization). Ever since then, I've been feeling the same way and am back to worrying about what could be wrong with me. I'm still concerned about Lyme Disease and have become somewhat of an internet hypochondriac.Something I feel is very important to add is that my friend let me try 70mg of Vyvanse one day, and for about 4-5 hours, that COMPLETELY cured all of my symptoms. Brain fog, depression, and anxiety was gone (anxiety returned full force later as a side effect, I presume). I notice that coffee also helps me mildly, but weed nearly always makes me feel dreadful now. It makes me feel a sense of fear and I go into deep thought about my current problems. Now I know that one way Vyvanse works by increasing the amount of dopamine in the brain, as does coffee. So, I'm thinking that if that helps so much, perhaps my problem is with low dopamine? Knowing this, I'm wondering if I should see a psychiatrist (I'm currently seeing a psychologist, who has yet to diagnose me with anything specific) and try to get an anti-depressant that affects dopamine, like Welbutrin, instead of an SSRI which increases seretonin. Any thoughts guys? I can't deal with this depersonalized feeling for much longer, I really want to get back to my old self. I appreciate any and all opinions and advice. Thank you all.

 

[thatjames1130]

I apologize for the huge text block format. I can't figure out how to add spacing between paragraphs.

 

[Beokay]

Depersonalisation definitely goes away.
It's a state your brain goes into when you can't cope with something. You somewhat disassociate with reality.
I have had it plenty of times. I can assure you it goes away.
Mine is a bit different, because mine was inducted by taking acid, which then gave me hppd. And it was a result of the hppd that I suffer from anxiety, depersonalisation etc.
From experience it does go away.

Stay away from drugs all together. Take it easy.
Be around nature, the people who make you feel good in your life.
Get rid of the things that aren't good and focus on healing and getting better.

You are not alone, and this moment, will pass.

 

[thatjames1130]

The most troubling thing I think is how my mind is still thinking about Lyme, and knowing Lyme can cause depersonalization doesn't help =/

 

[Beokay]

Have you thought about talking to a psychologist?
They usually help manage these sorts of thoughts.
Take it easy ?

 

[thatjames1130]

Yeah I'm currently seeing a campus one who is in the process of diagnosing me. I'll find out on Tuesday what he thinks I have.

 

[aihfl]

Dr. Google only added to (and maybe even created) all of my worries.

I've always thought googling medical stuff is a bad idea. Trust the experts. They didn't go through four years of medical schools and all those years of postdoc training for nothing.

Knowing this, I'm wondering if I should see a psychiatrist (I'm currently seeing a psychologist, who has yet to diagnose me with anything specific) and try to get an anti-depressant that affects dopamine, like Welbutrin, instead of an SSRI which increases seretonin. Any thoughts guys? I can't deal with this depersonalized feeling for much longer, I really want to get back to my old self. I appreciate any and all opinions and advice. Thank you all.

I'm a big believer in psych meds and it is my opinion, from the sounds of it, that you would benefit. I know that without mine (I'm on two cyclic antidepressants, Ativan and Vistaril) I'd be an alcoholic basket case. Stay off google and don't tell the psychiatrist what you think you need. Just trust the professionals. Giving up the ganja will also help.