I'm going to make this brief , 2013-2014 has been a year of pyschedelic experimentation for me with a lot of cannabis , I had tripped on shrooms twice (1.8 g's first time , 3.2 2nd) L twice and dxm 3 times (first dose 720mg , 2 and 3 rd trip were two days apart , idk if thats really bad? I assume so) , and I was smoking herb habitually. Shrooms had got me out of a bad depression where I hated people for a while , and I was maladaptive dreaming a bunch. I was using them for spiritual healing.
Trip report (Root of Dp) Side note : (I had a metaphysical experience once when I was on the bus going to the beach , I looked at this lady and she was trippy out of no where Im like who am i , whos to say I'm me , how do i control my actions , it lasted 15 seconds and i snapped out of it)
I dosed 2.5 g's in the midle of may. I came back from a ghetty and It was around 11 , earlier I had dabbed while my parents got really mad at me about 2 weeks prior because I smoked weed , my mom was heartbroken when she found out. So my mindset was tired , I was in my room , the trip turned really evil , long story short I ran out my house to my park , my parents didnt know , by the time I'm there my mind is going crazy , I have thoughts of getting in trouble and being sent to a mental hospital (my parents are very anti drug and woudlnt understand shrooms). My anxiety was through the roof and I felt my skin pulsing and I felt really out of body , I called my connect who helped me out , but I felt so alone and the feeling was getting worse , it was so bad I thought I was in some kind of twisted dream , it was the most intense body feeling ever , it felt like it was true. I got stuck in a loop saying "just ride it out" for about 2 hours , it felt like eternity , time had no function for me , because it was so abstract. Anyways , I come home and hide in my car for a little to sober up , i was thinking so irrationally. I was inside the car for about 10 minutes , feeling a bit better , then I see my mom outside , it was around 2;30 , so I was still semi triping. long story short I fell asleep with my mom cause she was so scared I was doing crazy things ( She thought I was on drugs) I had to lie and say I was thinking of running away from home. So I fall asleep about 20 minutes later still partially tripping.
I dont rememeber much after the trip as far as what I did , but I was pretty shooken up and I told no one , I just said I had a bad trip. I had dp but I didnt mind it I didnt even know what it was until i reaserched my feelings. At first I kind of enjoyed it , essentially my ego was broken down and I could do anything I wanted without worry of ridicule. , until 2 months sober I smoked 5 fat bowls and felt that same intense anxiety where i felt out of body and in a game or movie. After that the concept of dp was sketching me out , the cars moving weird and all the other shit wasnt a problem , but what was was the thought of me not being me , and I am not controlling me. I was doing shit on autopilot (which i liked cause I got shit done , but on the other hand it was weird to know I was on autopilot)
So I went sober for about 2 weeks again , smoked 4 dabs of blue dream and was even more gone then I was on the shrooms , it was out of body high times ten , (I was in school) And I felt super analytical about everything , everything seemed so pure , I had thoughts even loooking back now were really impressive. I could see peoples true emotions , it was some crazy shit , I felt like I had created everything around me in my head. Then for a couple days , I had a concept that I could be in a mental asylum , dreaming this whole reality and just living in my head like shutter island. I brushed it off , but there is a 1% it could be possible which sketched me out.
~~~~~Brief summary if you didn't read the whole thing which I would hope you would do , I need all opinions~~~~~~~ : Basically shrooms brought on the concept of dp , and weed made my anxiety and dp a ton worse.(Cars moving slow and weird has improved , Im working on my anxiety , but I dont like that I am on autopilot and I dont liek that I dont feel 100% like I am in my body, thats my main problem for DP) I am 2 months sober , but tomorrow is halloween and there are some live parties , would it be safe for me to drink? I wont get hammered or anything just drink a little , I heard its fine because it didnt cause my dp , and whenever I have drank in the past it has made me relaxed. OPINIONS????????
SORRY FOR THE LONG READ THIS MEANS A LOT TO ME SO I HAD TO PAINT A VIVID PICTURE OF MY STORY!
Trip report (Root of Dp) Side note : (I had a metaphysical experience once when I was on the bus going to the beach , I looked at this lady and she was trippy out of no where Im like who am i , whos to say I'm me , how do i control my actions , it lasted 15 seconds and i snapped out of it)
I dosed 2.5 g's in the midle of may. I came back from a ghetty and It was around 11 , earlier I had dabbed while my parents got really mad at me about 2 weeks prior because I smoked weed , my mom was heartbroken when she found out. So my mindset was tired , I was in my room , the trip turned really evil , long story short I ran out my house to my park , my parents didnt know , by the time I'm there my mind is going crazy , I have thoughts of getting in trouble and being sent to a mental hospital (my parents are very anti drug and woudlnt understand shrooms). My anxiety was through the roof and I felt my skin pulsing and I felt really out of body , I called my connect who helped me out , but I felt so alone and the feeling was getting worse , it was so bad I thought I was in some kind of twisted dream , it was the most intense body feeling ever , it felt like it was true. I got stuck in a loop saying "just ride it out" for about 2 hours , it felt like eternity , time had no function for me , because it was so abstract. Anyways , I come home and hide in my car for a little to sober up , i was thinking so irrationally. I was inside the car for about 10 minutes , feeling a bit better , then I see my mom outside , it was around 2;30 , so I was still semi triping. long story short I fell asleep with my mom cause she was so scared I was doing crazy things ( She thought I was on drugs) I had to lie and say I was thinking of running away from home. So I fall asleep about 20 minutes later still partially tripping.
I dont rememeber much after the trip as far as what I did , but I was pretty shooken up and I told no one , I just said I had a bad trip. I had dp but I didnt mind it I didnt even know what it was until i reaserched my feelings. At first I kind of enjoyed it , essentially my ego was broken down and I could do anything I wanted without worry of ridicule. , until 2 months sober I smoked 5 fat bowls and felt that same intense anxiety where i felt out of body and in a game or movie. After that the concept of dp was sketching me out , the cars moving weird and all the other shit wasnt a problem , but what was was the thought of me not being me , and I am not controlling me. I was doing shit on autopilot (which i liked cause I got shit done , but on the other hand it was weird to know I was on autopilot)
So I went sober for about 2 weeks again , smoked 4 dabs of blue dream and was even more gone then I was on the shrooms , it was out of body high times ten , (I was in school) And I felt super analytical about everything , everything seemed so pure , I had thoughts even loooking back now were really impressive. I could see peoples true emotions , it was some crazy shit , I felt like I had created everything around me in my head. Then for a couple days , I had a concept that I could be in a mental asylum , dreaming this whole reality and just living in my head like shutter island. I brushed it off , but there is a 1% it could be possible which sketched me out.
~~~~~Brief summary if you didn't read the whole thing which I would hope you would do , I need all opinions~~~~~~~ : Basically shrooms brought on the concept of dp , and weed made my anxiety and dp a ton worse.(Cars moving slow and weird has improved , Im working on my anxiety , but I dont like that I am on autopilot and I dont liek that I dont feel 100% like I am in my body, thats my main problem for DP) I am 2 months sober , but tomorrow is halloween and there are some live parties , would it be safe for me to drink? I wont get hammered or anything just drink a little , I heard its fine because it didnt cause my dp , and whenever I have drank in the past it has made me relaxed. OPINIONS????????
SORRY FOR THE LONG READ THIS MEANS A LOT TO ME SO I HAD TO PAINT A VIVID PICTURE OF MY STORY!