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Depersonalization Experiences/Stories

I had a bad drug experience on xtc (not sure what it really was... it was feeling more spaced out than high).

In the morning I suddenly started freaking out, sweating and everything seemed extremley far away like looking through googles the wrong way.

that's when my dp/dr startet kicking in, alongside sever depression, brain tingles and so on. I also became extremly anxious and antisocial and just did not felt "right" or that I just wasn't myself.

those days I barely left the house and just felt like going crazy all the time. I just overthought everything and became sort of o.c.d-y. the weird thing was though that I always knew that there was something wrong, so I wasn't really psychotic.


It took me ages before I actually went to a doctor and didn't even went to a specialist, but my housedoctor gave me a prescribtion for prozac, which was a real life saver for me.

I still don't feel 100% right, I sometimes get that tingling sensation and will become a little apathetic.. but it's really managable.
 
I've had depersonalization while on drugs like a very high dose of Psilocybin and from smoking and eating herb. I never had it on any other drugs and that includes lots of booze, opiates, Dexedrine, and LSD.

I've had it while completely sober but I know that it was stemming from anxiety, panic, and depression.

I do not have it daily like the woman on the dreamchild blog link does. I may have had it once before I ever used illegal drugs. For myself it does not last long but it's not fun when it does happen.
 
I started getting symptoms of DP after doing RCs a few times and other psychs. MDMA never hurt me too much but some of the crazier psychs did things. Cocaine nights made the next days worse and eventually even weed started to do it to me. I see a weak link between anxiety and DP, however, you can overcome anxiety by rationalizing and calming yourself out. DP on the other hand I haven't found a way to overcome it other than to just ride it out. Cutting back on the drugs and sleeping enough (and not too much!) seems to be the only thing to make episodes further and further apart. If I had to venture a guess I'd say exercise would help too but I've been away from the gym for the past 4 months.
 
yeah mainly from weed. also when i was doing too much mephedrone and alcohol. i also had a bad experience mixing dmt with alcohol and havnt been properly feeling myself since
 
I've kinda felt the opposite. Prior and after becoming a drug addict. Especially from weed and tryptamines. It's not a good feeling, like too much info coming in at once. Would this kinda thing fall under a regular panic attack? (not to derail the thread). This stuff is fascinating to me.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
I do not have it daily like the woman on the dreamchild blog link does. I may have had it once before I ever used illegal drugs. For myself it does not last long but it's not fun when it does happen.
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It's a very weird feeling imo. The ego loss feels like you "tap into" another's consciousness and know what they are about. I swear it is like being psychic. A very weird feelling indeed. Too many benzos caused this feeling in me after detox. I DID NOT like it, even though it was temporary.
 
I basically live in depersonalization and derealization, to a moderate-severe degree (imho), 90-95% of the time. I have a dissociative disorder, and I cope with it pretty well now. I didn't for a long time. Sometimes I will still get panic feelings from it, like when I first wake up. Like - I know I'm typing on bluelight, I know logically what I am doing this second and that I'm making sense - however it doesn't seem "real" as compared to a small amount of the time when I am actually not dissociating or dissociating less than normal. Those times are either awesome or horrible in general, just cause I'm not used to feeling emotions atm. My DR/DP and other symptoms are seemingly getting rapidly worse the past 2-3 weeks, perhaps it's the time of year, I dunno... but it was much better for a while there. I actually was really comfortable with this feeling for a long time, but now that I've had the experience of most of the "fog" (for lack of a better word) being gone, I find it very uncomfortable to go around dissociated, like I am now.

I don't think drugs has helped this at all, but I was dissociative way before I ever did drugs.

edit: Also I'm fairly good at hiding the fact that I am experiencing these symptoms, and can still hold convos and know what's going on for the most part, but that's from having lots of chances to practice I guess. Everything, 100% of what I'm doing is completely automatic when I'm at my most depersonalized, and I may or may not remember any interaction in that state. My psychiatrist always knows when it's getting bad if I'm in his office, anyone else I can fool including every therapist I've ever had. Anyway just sharing my story. I thought I was crazy for a long time and so I guess I learned to hide it, cause I thought if anyone knew I'd get locked away or something, hehe scary thought @ 8/9 years old, that followed me for a long time.
 
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I experienced strong feelings of depersonalization/derealization following a difficult experience during a candyflip a few months ago.

It was enormously frightening, and I was unsure that I would ever get back to normal. Thankfully, things seem to be headed that way. The key for me has been not spending too much time alone with my thoughts, and staying busy and engaged with other activities/people. Meditation has been immensely helpful as well. These feelings, however severe, are just thoughts, and remaining tied up in them/trying to reason your way out of them is not an effective way to manage them.

"The thought that a thought is just a thought is just a thought"
 
I had numerous experiences with depersonalization years before I even touched drugs. Sometimes these episodes would be a month long. I learned to live with it pretty quickly and I can't say they ever bothered me. They were sort of like an escape from the world. After using drugs depersonalization has gone done significantly. If anything weed, LSD have made me more grounded in reality. I probably have a disorder like lasthurrah but I've never been diagnosed.
 
branflakes said:
Has anyone here had depersonalization/derealization prior to using psychoactive drugs?
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Yes, it has already happenned to me once or twice without any psychoactive. I think it was just kind of a peek of depression, and even though I didn't get a very strong feeling and it didn't last long (two days or even just a few hours), it sure was unpleasant, not feeling "exactly me" for a short time.
 
SecondPull said:
I experienced strong feelings of depersonalization/derealization following a difficult experience during a candyflip a few months ago.

It was enormously frightening, and I was unsure that I would ever get back to normal. Thankfully, things seem to be headed that way. The key for me has been not spending too much time alone with my thoughts, and staying busy and engaged with other activities/people. Meditation has been immensely helpful as well. These feelings, however severe, are just thoughts, and remaining tied up in them/trying to reason your way out of them is not an effective way to manage them.

"The thought that a thought is just a thought is just a thought"
Click to expand...

This cannot be said enough. I suffered through a period of intense DP/DR (and still do, to a lesser extent) and this was the only way I got through it. You simply cannot rationalize your way out of it.
 
I wanted to revive this thread to ask if anyone here is still active and a sufferer of depersonalization / derealization being over 8 years from this thread being created. As I am suffering pretty intensely from derealization more specifically and I'am just reaching out. Are there any other sufferers out there?
 
me, hi, i used to suffer from it alot worse, but now i take cbd everyday, and i havent had it as bad lately
 
I experienced depersonalization after smoking spice....it was intense and I hated it...I ended up having a panic attack and going to the ER
 
Iv'e had DP for about 6 years now. I personally blame it on the fact that my stupid Psychiatrist never took me off of Risperidone.
 
I have this condition also? At least I think I do? I don't take pills often but I took a few last week at a trance event and completely over did it(I also had copious amounts of alcohol, and like a Complete moron didn't check the pills), I now have horrendous anxiety and what I think is depersonalisation? The feeling I get is my chest goes warm and I no longer feel my heartbeat or body temp, I go from hot to cold amd I'm always clammy! I feel like when you wake up and your still dreaming, my body is functioning but I'm numb to it, I can't focus, my brains foggy. It's really beginning to scare me and I was wondering if these symptoms will eventually up sticks and leave! I'm taking 5-htp, vitamins and omega 3. I am also drinking water and staying off caffeine. Any derealisation / depersonalisation experiences explained from another's point of view would greatly help. Thanks in advance
 
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