Dissociatives Deep emotions

[plumbus-nine]

Ever since I got to know dissociatives I'm craving them; sober life feels just as if there was something lacking, like the opposite was true, that sobriety was a bad drug and the dissociatives were my real self. Did mostly low dosages like 10mg of MXE or 150mg DXM (before I slipped into a long period of daily disso use with huge tolerance buildup).

Listening to music would feel soo good. Movies, food, walking, social interaction (I'm usually suffering from social anxiety), almost anything would feel good, and (this was before I ever did any real opioid) I thought 'that must be what opioids feel like' but they are very different, inferior if you ask me. Now I'm not sure whether the dull sobriety is a result of neurotoxicity or just that I became used to the emotional world dissociatives provide. As ingesting a disso again would immediately bring the missed stuff back I doubt that it'd be neurotoxicity but maybe related to the level of dissociative tolerance I do have- but I had the same before tolerance, I was always craving not the disso itself but the unlocked emotions they provided. Like normal I'd feel only 2D and dissociatives would unlock the third dimension.

Music also comes with some slight (positive) flashback. Tracks I've listened to and specially ones which I discovered while in the dissoverse continue to bring back some shades of these 3D emotions when listening later, soberly, to them again. This can even be months later.
But aren't dissociatives suppose to dissociate one from - from what? Your NMDA receptors? I think the term dissociative is misleading in some ways, opioids are more disconnecting than dissociatives ever been to me. Now that I need to live sober I miss dissociatives most, stimulants next but stims never brought me these emotional landscapes.

What's your opinion on this? Did you experience similar changes in emotions?

 

[pupnik]

I think there were some spectacular disso's like MXE which I never got to try, but from the sounds of it I might have gotten very interested in it.
DXM made me run to the toilet too much for fun.
but I have a similar feeling about Lysergamides, i.e. ever eager to redose, but need to manage tolerance, and same with cannabis. keeping the dose low so I can repeat sooner than later, not that there is anything wrong with being entirely sober forever, for somebody else.

 

[plumbus-nine]

I think there were some spectacular disso's like MXE which I never got to try, but from the sounds of it I might have gotten very interested in it.

There are currently some analogues like DMXE which are said to be similar. DCK was nice as well.

Yeah, DXM can induce strong diarrhea, specially in low dosages and when using syrup. But I was just too happy to care, lol. The first months I was using DXM were among the happiest of my life. I couldn't believe that something like this was freely available off the pharmacy.

Interesting that you say lysergamides do similar stuff to you. Me and the psychedelics never really became friends, maybe this might change now that I'm finally off SSRI, but atm out of luck, no supplier and no sitter. Last time I had one was 2 years ago, some 1cP-LSD, nice visuals and afterglow but emotionally pretty neutral.

 

[pupnik]

confusing maybe, or intentionally neutral, but IMO all psychedelic substances have a strong emotional aspect, especially with respect to the distortion of time and the lingering of impressions, which is a known characteristic of emotional states.

 

[ecstacylover]

Dissociatives have at times made me feel emotions more deeply, but on many other occasions they have completely divorced me from my emotions. I think they were more likely to enhance my emotions back when I first started using them, nowadays they mostly just completely separate me from my emotions. The problem with dissociatives is that even on occasions where they deepened my internal experience of emotions, they still nullified my ability to convey this to other people, which at a certain point, is the entire point of having emotions.

Psychedelics probably enhance my experience of emotions more than any other drug, although some are better at it than others. 2C-B has an emotional depth that surpasses any other psychedelic I've tried, even if it doesn't have the cognitive depth of LSD or the perceptual depth of tryptamines. Empathogens too of course, although I consider these to be psychedelics in their effects on emotions, but not psychedelic in their effects on cognition or perception. For anyone who wants to split hairs ofc the term psychedelic is nowadays defined as an activator of 5-HT2A receptors, which empathogens are (albeit indirectly and less specifically than classical-like psychedelics).

By a large margin though phenibut has helped me emotionally more than any other substance. Not necessarily because it helps me feel emotions more deeply (it does this only slightly), but because it helps me express them in an outward manner.

This is just my experience though and drugs affect different people in vastly different ways. That's pretty cool that you've had such consistent luck in enhancing your emotions with dissociatives.

 

[Ismene2]

I tend to think the real world is the psychedelic world and this world is where you wait around till you go back.

 

[Hexagon Sun]

Kudos for quitting SSRIs. They are some evil substances only surpased-in evilness- by neuroleptics.

Its a pity that you quitted dissos too. If you manage to take it rationally its kinda nourishment for the soul

 

[Listening]

When I was stuck on dissociatives, this is one of the things that kept me hooked too. I was more emotional (in a good way). Made me feel more human. However, I was also more emotionally reactive, which led to many problems.