1) FUCKING DIE ALREADY. i don't care any more, i refuse to be scared of dying. (death- go suck your own dick plz). i just want the chronic physical god damn untreatable bullshit to stop already. i've forced myself to try and have a last few laughs, have met lovely people, im ready now for eternal peace.
2) i refuse to wake up in god damn hospital again. i wish people would just leave me if they find me unconscious (thanks, but seriously why bother getting an ambulance? waste of time.. others need it.. ) i hate being a patient in hospital with a passion, it's not fun being around other people dying/ in distress. i can hear them scream in fear and cry, it's horrible.
3) arghhh i wish my body would just quit trying to fight, and stop already. meh. it bloody won't (yet). do i really need a one way ticket to swiitzerland? (it would be awesome and i'd do it if i could ski/ board like i used too first, but noooo, shitty body can't handle the cold, can you? )
this is so messed up, i know. i'm not depressed, i just want the pain to STOP PLEASE. lungs are fucked so might as well get it over with? and donate the rest that works? (help some others before it's all useless). i want a DNR but i don't think i'm bloody allowed one, ffs. thank god for illegal shit, haha. i dont want to use dope as that'll make it harder for my family. (and i knew it was unfair on them to see them again). morphine for the win. meh. few more days of this bullcrap and i give up. i'll try and cheer up as many people till then.
2) i refuse to wake up in god damn hospital again. i wish people would just leave me if they find me unconscious (thanks, but seriously why bother getting an ambulance? waste of time.. others need it.. ) i hate being a patient in hospital with a passion, it's not fun being around other people dying/ in distress. i can hear them scream in fear and cry, it's horrible.
3) arghhh i wish my body would just quit trying to fight, and stop already. meh. it bloody won't (yet). do i really need a one way ticket to swiitzerland? (it would be awesome and i'd do it if i could ski/ board like i used too first, but noooo, shitty body can't handle the cold, can you? )
this is so messed up, i know. i'm not depressed, i just want the pain to STOP PLEASE. lungs are fucked so might as well get it over with? and donate the rest that works? (help some others before it's all useless). i want a DNR but i don't think i'm bloody allowed one, ffs. thank god for illegal shit, haha. i dont want to use dope as that'll make it harder for my family. (and i knew it was unfair on them to see them again). morphine for the win. meh. few more days of this bullcrap and i give up. i'll try and cheer up as many people till then.
