Being a life time citizen of the USA, and, with a education in Psychology, and especially dual addiction volunteer counseling for 28
years, I returned to the self administration of drugs with addiction potential about 20 years ago. Drug number one, is in a entire
different family from, drug number two.
With Drug number one, I took the choice, of having a USA Psychiatrist, who knows of my background in my youth, from teenage
years, until about age 30 of abusing, and/or experimenting with nearly all medications mentioned in this entire forum. In the USA,
ADHD has finally been recognized, more so than in the EU and elsewhere in the world, as a disorder, a neurological disorder, even
a disability, for not being able to focus and be attentive, from age 7 years old, now, even during the stages of one's entire adult life.
Therefore part of my reasoning, for breaking, 14 years, of my of 28 years of no alcohol, no nicotine, no mood altering drugs, was,
some of the happier days of my life in all of my 30's, and early 40/s. I began the controlled use of dextroamphetamine, initially, to
complete several undergraduate, and graduate and another profession degree, under the monitoring of a USA Psychiatirst, now, in
my 21st year of using dextroamphetamine from once a daily high of 55 mg per day, now, under the M.D's advice, and, my aging
process, have reduced my dose the past 5 years to 25 mg of dextroamphetamine per day. I have tried three or four times to taper
down to zero use,and, after 14 to 15 days off of the Adderall, or Dexedrine instant release, and or extended release versions, am
totally unproductive, and, depressed, and with a complete lack of motivation, to even take care of the daily chores of the mundane
tasks of daily independent living. With that being said, I will now disclose my secret, self administration, of a 2nd family of drugs,
the opiates, that even my Psychiatrist, is not yet aware of.
About ten years ago, after going thru a unexpected Divorce from hell, and a vicious fight over property settlements, "money" between my separated ex-wife, and myself, I am male, I had a court ordered "honestly very unfair restraining order" placed on me
that if I broke the rules, within one year, I would have been sent to prison. The disruption of living with a lot of creature comforts,
and a huge loss in income, (my ex-wife, was a highly paid RN working at one of the major USA hospitals in management, thus, I
am saying her income exceeded mine, and the health benefits, were nearly unlimited, when I was married. The USA lawyers
succeeded, in raising the hostility to very high expenses, and, due to the pressure, of a hit to my ego, and, some physical problems,
I had developed with my body, mostly standing all day long, on my feet, in several careers, at 6 ft and 200 lbs, I experienced daily
moderate pain in my feet, where I could not locate a desk job, without taking a unwilling hit on my income flow. I resorted to taking
opiates, "I am a pill popper, not a shooter", so in the year 2005 until 2010, I made a underground connection, where I could purchase nearly unlimited quantities of the USA pharmaceutical known as "Percocet" ( a altered version) of Percodan, each pill with
5 mg of 0xycodone, and 325 mg of APAP, or USA Tylenol. I managed this by never exceeding over two tablets per day, for five
years. "not necessarily a very high amount of 0xycodone at even 10 mg per day, and I averaged more often only 5 mg per day.
I lost my underground supplier, and years 6, 7, and 8, I found a IOP who could obtain, the lower scheduled, but still abuse able
and less popular drug, Sosenol, or Fortral as it is known in the EU, and Asia, and Talwin P as it is known in Canada. I developed a
tolerance to this, and my level of consumption, daily, partly due to being a less potent narcotic, was up to 150 mg per day of
Pentazocine tablets. This is where, I was in denial, but my constipation, began, even back in the days of my 5 years use of 5 mg
per day of 0xycodone. For relief as many have already stated on this very forum, I leaned on the USA 100% natural Psyllium
powder, stirred up in a tall tea glass of water at bedtime, sold in the USA as "Metamucil", as a "preventative" before, I started skipping any days, of no movement of any fecal matter, in my upper, or lower intestines and colon.
Somewhere I crossed the line, I don't know which year it was, but, I began skipping my daily use of Metamucil, and, once I was
constipated, then would try by day 2 to double dose on Psyllium Husk powder stirred in water to relieve myself of the familiar,
straining at the toilet, to pass stool, often hardened stool, due to another problem, I did not realize I was having, dehydratrion, from
just not drinking enough pure water daily, "that was 50% of my entire problem, never drinking at least 8 tall teaglasses, or at
least four (4) 750 ml of water, (which is 25.3 Fluid ounces of pure water per day, and, eating fast food, and not eating enough, fruits , especially like two or three pears in the AM hours, and high fiber cereal for breakfast.
By year 8 using opiates, mostly 0xycodone tablets, and later, Pentazocine tablets, my IOP source was unable to procure any more
stock of Pentazocine, Krka Fortral, to Sosegon, or Sanofi produced Talwin, anywhere. I then turned about 2 years ago, to the use
of 0xy Contin, with a large increase in dose, going from 5 to 10mg a day max, now, in the last two years to using 40 mg a day, in
"opiate runs" of on and off use, like 3 weeks at a time, and two to four weeks of withdrawals, due to the very high costs of OC.
I developed, some severe constipation, and my primary care physician, now aware of my "secret" demanded me to start having
a normal Colonscopy check up about 5 years ago, and now, my constipation, issues, have resulted, in a diagnosis, of this:
1. Hemorrhoids active
2. Diverticulosis, active (Pouches form when the Colon strains to remove hard stool) Next (worse) step is Diverticulitis, infection.
3. Constipation, active
4. Benign Adenomatous Polyp of the large intestine active (tumors that grow inside the bowels)
5, Personal history of Colon Polyps, non cancerous, all removed from Colonoscopies, in years 2004, 2007, 2013.
(These benign non cancerous polyps, usually have proven to become cancerous within 5 to 20 years if they are not removed)
"Knowledge is Salvation" (Socrates).
My attempts to abstain from the use of all opiate pain killers, has been a daunting task. IMHO
The first part, or easier part, is tapering down to non use.
The hardest part, is feeling "dope sick" a psychological-physical problem that can last up to one full year.
Many people, I have discovered from my former education, and volunteering, with addicts, is many "like me" go back to their
drug of choice, from the constant craving, "mostly in one's head" after say 90 days of abstinence, without any substitute,
medication, such as, Bupe, (Subutex, Suboxone in the USA) or Temgesic outside the USA, or Methadone. Thus the choices are
Buprenorprine, Methadone, or psychological support groups, removing ones-self from the sources of opiates, and IMHO, toughing
out that first year. Statistics, I have access to show up to 90% of normal addicts fail the first year, but the one's that survive
abstinence, usually stay off opiates, for good, as the psychological cravings are rare, if one obtains that first coveted year.
(That was the case for me, around age 30, with using powered cocaine, by what I call snorting the powder up my nose. That is
the exact problem I have resorted to on 5 of the last 10 years of opiate, or synthetic agonist, antagonist opiates, by breaking down
the pills into a powder, and snoring the powder by a straw thru my nasal system.
The vast expensive in the USA, especially the past 3 years of obtaining any form of 0xy, is a serious, and constant problem on my
month finances, and, my creative mind that using opiates would relieve my lifetime of Depression I have given up on, as in the long
run, it has made my Depression worse IMHO. Thus I am trying to relieve two dragons, "speed" and "opiates" and trying to withdraw off of both I have constantly failed, for at least the past 5 years on both. My priorities, are to work on relief from the opiates, as I
just cannot afford it (the lack of money) and the constipation, that comes with the territory of using opiates on non stop benders that often last for 3 weeks at a time non stop, then withdrawal, and my fear of developing cancer of the colon. I am now scheduled for annual or at least every other year colonoscopies, the rest of my natural life. A radical change in avoiding high fat foods and
switching to high fiber foods is another daunting task for me, with having to make this choice, in my interpretation choosing to live, or to get cancer, and die, 10 to 20 years before my lifecycle is up is what I am now faced with.
This blunt, and very direct subject of constipation, is just what I needed to hear as I embark on yet another venture again, already
on tapering down on opiates, due to lack of funds, and lack of access.
I am aware I type a wall of text, I will try to refrain in the future for not changing my communication skills. I just need to get this
off my chest. One more thing, I am laxative dependant every day. I alternate between USA Miralax,
(Polethylene Glycol 3350, Powder for Solution, Osmotic laxative, and, switch back and forth for one
week a month, just on USA "Senokot" (standardized senna concentrate) 4 tablets per day with water.
Otherwise, constipation has become just too painful, for me to deal with. My diet and water intake, still has not changed enough, to get off of the laxatives completely.
Happy shitting! 
