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DCFS might take my daughter

Cohesion

Cohesion

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 21, 2010
Messages
1,069
Location
Portland, OR
I'm staying in a DV (domestic violence) shelter. Sometimes my meds make me sleep really deeply to the point I can't hear anything or be woken up.

This happened today, and staff decided that as mandated reporters they are going to call. This will be my 2nd offense with them, because when she was born in the hospital we both tested positive for THC. (Clean now though.)

As I understand, DCF takes the child upon 2nd offense, even during "investigation".

I am horrified, broken down, dead inside. I cannot breathe. much.

I have a brother & sister in law several hours away who would *probably* take her in lieu of a foster home. I haven't called them. My daughter is napping now.

Experiences? Support? Thoughts? Advice? Anything? PLEASE HELP ME.

____
Additionally, I have to leave here tomorrow. I don't know where we are going to go. I can't stop crying, I can't think straight to make any plans or phone calls. Please help me.
 
What I would do is pray mami, try to find somewhere quiet and close your eyes and imagine yourself radiating a golden white light. Ask for help. I cant tell you what to do but stay strong and things will turn out alright. <3
 
Yes. She is gone. Living in a foster home. We have been together since her birth. We nursed until 18 months.

They said I was abusing my Adderall, though it is a point of debate. I was working out my dosage with my doctor. Until court, though, she is broken apart from her one and only..me.

I'm staying at the Salvation Army. I am out on the street for most of the day.

NOW I want to take more Klonopin than prescribed, just to get through the day. I don't think this will help my case. I'm at my end. I do have mental illness. I've lost all hope.
 
^^

Why did you not call your relatives? A relative placement is always preferred and actually legally mandated in several states. You owe it to your daughter to at least try to find a relative in which she can live while you work on your issues. You are legally entitled to visits. Have you seen your daughter since she was placed into care? I am having trouble understanding your attitude. I worked in the system for a few years and have seen plenty of children go back to their parents. I have seen plenty of parents not do jack shit to get their children return and then bitch and yell at everyone else in an attempt to blame. You sound defeated and like you have given up. You are going to have at least a year to try to fix this, probably more.

As for wanting to take more klonopin then prescribed... don't. Get ahold of your caseworker or investigator, get your service plan and get started immediately on your tasks. They do not want to keep your child away from you and this can actually turn out to be a positive in the long run. You now have access to state funded services. Parenting classes, counseling, GED programs if needed etc.

If you truly are clean then that is a great start. STAY AWAY from the person with whom you had DV issues with.

CONTACT YOUR CASEWORKER OR INVESTIGATOR IMMEDIATELY. Setup a visit with your child and a meeting with your caseworker.
 
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Call any family you have regardless of your relationship with them this isnt about you its about your daughter there niece or grandchild whi is completly innocent and scared and alone right now. Not to be rude I know this is a place of help but you need buck up and fight if it was me I would annoy the shit out of the case worker call everyday asking for updates do exactly what they tell you then call and tell them about it. Get on a first name basis with the case worker show that you are commited because as phactor said alot of parents wont try at all. I wish you and your daughter the best I really do.
 
She's going to live with her aunt and uncle on Tuesday.

I was suicidal first time ever, went inpatient, didnt get the DOA, found reasons to live, .....

No time to elaborate. I'm so blessed.
 
Hey I actually worked at a rescue mission for about 5 years or so so Ive seen alot of this happen. Please dont lose hope cause Ive seen some pretty nasy people turn their lives around and get their kids back... but thats the key... turning your life around.. this is where the rubber meets the road, its time TO FIGHT LIKE HELL!!!
 
I did exactly that - left excessive phone messages, walked in and wrote a message. 48 hours later I had a 2 hour visit. I met the foster mom + the kids.

My bro + sis in law don't have any kids yet- they are the perfect home for my daughter -until this process is over. My daughter *loves* them. And their dog. She'll have a bedroom + furniture for the first time ever in a nice uptown Chicago flat. (Beginning on Tuesday--48 hours left!! )

I don't need to detail my whole story. . Just need support + personal thoughts /experience.

On a completely shocking note, I took a risk with a new brother I met, and we stayed out all night Friday. Night of my Life! I haven't been out past dark much since my daughter was born (2008 ).


That night, clear sky entertained stranger-lust + wandering adventure. Train climbing, hugging created mind-blowing chemical reaction in my body. Oh the seduction. I even got to build up a fire where live some people in the woods. This mysterious tour guide landed us in an abandoned old house- hollow, empty, 1930 built, rotting, cold, and amazing. He used to live there. In retrospect, I feel waves of the Marla Singer - Tyler Durden mystery.

I digress! This is VERY related to my OP.

Thursday night was pure heaven on earth.

A HUGE metaphorical exhale!

Disclaiming my seeming "careless" activity and assumptions that may have come to the minds of you Forum Readers -- The person remains an acquaintance... no additional "benefits" yet, no attachment nor delusions. As things progress, he's absolutely to be kept at arm's length Re: emotional support, advice, etc.

For reprimand, I was banned from salvation army for 1 night. That brought me to last night: Lemme say. I know why it's called "squatting" now. 1930s windows leave 12 inches of floor privacy. And-- Oh the cold. Can you picture it?

Perhaps I may consider that choice "careless", "immature" - No. I write this in a psychedelic-like "afterglow" state. Rode buses around town today. "Supermoon" tonight, you've heard about this?

Life is glorious.
 
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They give a bed, money + vouchers, furnishings, cut through most red tape to assist in homeless prevention. I keep far from it as social network. There are a few good people + staff who help me stay accountable. I don't know about the inner workings. I just need help getting on my feet.

Less than 2 weeks (maybe 1 week) I'll be in a new apartment.
 
UPDATE

After living at the Salvation Army for 2 weeks, I'm moving into a newly constructed, college/suburban population, as 3+ schools, merge. I'm thrilled! It's a 6 wk sublet. After that, I'll have had time to choose proper home with plenty of space, etc.

God bless it, I have come a looong way West, west again, and again,running from child's dad. For example, a 1-way ticket 1000 miles away from him **when I was a mere 4 or 5 months pregnant. Now-Finally. Yeah, finally! I have my OWN place. And it is ultra swank. And I'm definitely glad to be LEAVING the squatting grounds. Oh Homelessness...

It did take 3 years of putting up with Very Inappropriate / immature behavior ....now we are COMPLETELY apart =D%).

DCFS moves slowly, and....
I was stripped of CUSTODY RIGHTS from my child! It is a severe trauma to tread through. I am on autopilot, getting my ducks in a row. Taking meds ok.

Already been going to Domestic Violence (DV) meetings. - one of many things I'll be required to do as per DCFS "service plan". But the meetings I attend are awesome. Small group in a living room setting. Great information there.

End update.:)
 
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