Day 1 For my kick!

[CJ321]

Hello people! I really would love some major support if possible. I am literally freaking out right now and nothing has started to even happen yet. 2009 I got a trafficking charge and was sent away shortly after while an avid user of roxy. Let me tell you it was the worst experience of my life the withdrawals. Long story short I got through it and year jail and two years Phoenix house rehab then 4 years paper and becoming successful AF selling cars sober and living the dream. Me and my chick separated got my own place quit my job went back to selling then bam before you know it I'm hooked again yet this time on H. I managed to find the most amazing girl in the world before I quit my job and we are together today and she has not a clue. It's killing me inside and out for me and for her and she is also 8 weeks pregnant. I hate what I'm doing beyond belief! Fuck I'm crying like a bitch typing this right now. I just can't fathom what I got myself back into. I got 30g of kratom and a sub strip and hopefully someone to help me through this from this site because I'm too ashamed to even think about telling anyone or my family after everything I already did to them once. Please help! Thanks so much!
Cj.

Bad grammar sorry I'm freaking

 

[Jabberwocky]

Kratom and buprenorphine will help you get through the acute withdrawal, but the bigger concern for you I think is what you're going to do to stay sober after you're done kicking. Of course, having a baby on the way is a huge positive motivating factor, but you'll still need the support of individuals you can be honest with about your struggles IRL.

Do you have anyone you feel safe opening up to about your struggles IRL?

Trying to do recovery and keeping it from a significant other generally speaking is a recipe for disaster (I have yet to see that work out well in the end). Not saying you should just spill your guts ASAP to her, just saying that it probably isn't going to work out long term if you plan on continuing to keep if from her (chances are she already has some idea there is something going on).

I'd suggest you get yourself through the acute withdrawal of detoxing using the kratom and buprenorphine you have found yourself and then open up to hear about what you've been struggling with, ideally with the support of other people IRL you have already opened up to about it all.

Basically find someone other than your partner to support you in your efforts at sobriety, then include your partner in the conversation, would be my advice. YMMV

 

[simco]

Hey, man. Could you let us know roughly how long you've been using this time, and about how much per day? That will help folks tailor their advice more effectively.

Also, just for the record, in your original post, I assume you meant to type that you have 30g of kratom, right? I'm going to edit it back to that...let me know if I was wrong to do that.

Is telling your GF what's going on an option?

If not, that's understandable. But if it *is* possible, I think that would be a fast and healthy way to start bringing the freak-out level down. Nursing that secret is just going to pile stress on you. Asking her for help (of whatever kind, even just moral support), on the other hand, stands to give you an ally in what is always a tough fight. Unless you think it would be terribly damaging to her, I'd give telling her your situation (doesn't need to include every gory detail) some thought.

 

[CJ321]

Thanks guys I'm gunna try to answer this with one response as I got to get to a drug testing facility before hell kicks in to get my old job back. Telling her right now or soon isn't an option because we are already in such a tough spot with her parents not liking my choices as a younger adult hint the trafficking charge and us having a kid together so things are super fragile. I'm telling you as much as u think people in my life have an idea they don't not would they acknowledge if they saw it due to what I already put them and myself through years ago. I've been using again for a year to day basically and just recently started h about 6 months ago and roxy the other 6. The last three months I'd say I started iv about half g a day. Yes I have 30g of Kratom to kick. To be honest I should already feel withdrawals this morning and I feel absolutely nothing but ok it's freaking me out. Again thanks for the support seriously. I've been reading a lot on here about kratom and quite a few people have had little to no withdrawals though I do not believe any of it!!

 

[KraziKat]

And there's the possibility of getting hooked on kratom. That's how I feel right now. It's a slippery slope. FWIW, I came clean to my wife. My 4 year roxy addiction... it's hard but I had to, my problem was bigger than me. But now I can't tell her about the daily kratom intake!

 

[Jabberwocky]

Thanks guys I'm gunna try to answer this with one response as I got to get to a drug testing facility before hell kicks in to get my old job back. Telling her right now or soon isn't an option because we are already in such a tough spot with her parents not liking my choices as a younger adult hint the trafficking charge and us having a kid together so things are super fragile. I'm telling you as much as u think people in my life have an idea they don't not would they acknowledge if they saw it due to what I already put them and myself through years ago. I've been using again for a year to day basically and just recently started h about 6 months ago and roxy the other 6. The last three months I'd say I started iv about half g a day. Yes I have 30g of Kratom to kick. To be honest I should already feel withdrawals this morning and I feel absolutely nothing but ok it's freaking me out. Again thanks for the support seriously. I've been reading a lot on here about kratom and quite a few people have had little to no withdrawals though I do not believe any of it!!

Just wait as long as you can before taking any kratom or buprenorphine. The longer you wait, the better it will work at alleviating the symptoms of your withdrawal.

 

[KraziKat]

And now I'm taking kratom everyday. Harm reduction.

 

[simco]

And now I'm taking kratom everyday. Harm reduction.

I totally understand being frustrated about a new daily kratom habit. But I hope you can feel good about the fact that you aren't banging H...to me at least that really does sound like harm reduction.

In any case, many people find it fairly plausible to do a controlled taper on kratom to wean yourself off of it. In other words, once you feel stabilized off the heroin, if you're eager to get off the kratom, I'd recommend slowly working it out of your life. Slow and steady wins the race.

 

[KraziKat]

I totally understand being frustrated about a new daily kratom habit. But I hope you can feel good about the fact that you aren't banging H...to me at least that really does sound like harm reduction.

In any case, many people find it fairly plausible to do a controlled taper on kratom to wean yourself off of it. In other words, once you feel stabilized off the heroin, if you're eager to get off the kratom, I'd recommend slowly working it out of your life. Slow and steady wins the race.

Thank you, Simco. Very much appreciated. Needed to hear that, after rummaging through my drawers looking for any sort of remnant of my former DOC

 

[Jabberwocky]

I totally understand being frustrated about a new daily kratom habit. But I hope you can feel good about the fact that you aren't banging H...to me at least that really does sound like harm reduction.

In any case, many people find it fairly plausible to do a controlled taper on kratom to wean yourself off of it. In other words, once you feel stabilized off the heroin, if you're eager to get off the kratom, I'd recommend slowly working it out of your life. Slow and steady wins the race.

I agree with this whole hearted. We have some good examples of folks who were able to transition from their potent full agonist opioid of choice (like heroin and oxycodone) to kratom and then ween themselves off kratom in order to find success in the SL Directory.

 

[Nomasfent]

I am in the process on getting off my prescribed pain meds ...none of this is easy so i give you mad props for how far you have come so far the firsts days weeks are the worst at least for me it was,....my plan is pretty much like yours go to the kratom then get off of it ....just wanted to post some support for you .... And also a congrats on becoming a daddy it will be the best thing ever a lil mini you running around ...