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Dad's spiraling out of control. I dont know what else to do. ANY HELP APPRECIATED

:( Hey Mike...Bless your heart, as tears roll while I type.

I am sorry for what you are going through. I am so glad you updated, or I would have missed your post again. Kudos for your continued efforts to help out your dad. There's much going on there, that talk therapy could help.

The pressure of being that ROCK can grind one into pea gravel, even dust!

Your taking the roll of "parent" is admirable. It's not going to be easy, but I think your dad can be "strong-armed" into sobriety. Yes, my friend, you HAVE the leverage with the threat of JAIL. It can be done, but you need help, my brotha. If your mom can't assert herself, ask for help from other family members.

(((HUGS)))
 
My mom and I are doing well. I see a psychologist and psychiatrist whom are amazing and understanding. My mom has always been the type to recover from trauma or setbacks very quickly. I am just so relieved because my life feels normal again. When all of this was going on, my life felt unreal and like it was rapidly falling apart. It felt like my Dad was taken away during all this because the person he was during the events that happened is not the person I know as my father. It feels so good to have my Dad back.

Again, thank you so much for all the advice and support. I never knew that bluelight was full of such amazing and supportive people :)
 
Hey dude, I'm glad your dad is better and yu are getting help as well. With drugs and alcohol you get so used to it ending badly or not at all but success stories are always refreshing. Sounds like you have some amazing parents. We're Alyssa here to support eachother so you know where to come if things get off the track. Congrats man
 
I'm glad he's doing better. He's very lucky to have you and your Mom in his life. He should be significantly better and much more rational in a few months once his body balances itself out. It takes a little while to normalize after booze and also after SSRIs. If he seems like he's wanting to relapse never hesitate to show him he videos. Sometimes addicts, particularly in early recovery need visceral reminders why they need to continue to be sober. There is no doubt he ha significant guilt he will have to work through to get in a better place. His emotions may be a roller coaster for a while so try to continue to be patient and tolerant. Let us know if you have any questions or need to vent as there will be good days and bad days. I wish you the best ne good luck with summer school - summer classes are no joke, couldn't imagine trying to do school and take care of a parent, I give you mad props!
 
Sounds like the combination of drugs was exacerbating preexisting mental problems to me. Ive heard bad enough things about combining SSRI's with weed alone to say nothing of throwing alcohol into the mix. That, and what someone else already sort of touched on... If he is bipolar being on an SSRI without a mood stabilizer could shoot him into mania.
 
Good days, bad days

Hey again guys,

So wanted to post another update...
As far as I knew, my dad had not drank in 2-3 weeks. However, I came home from university early last thursday and my Dad was drunk. His phone was missing and he was going to bed so he needed to set his alarm. Mom said "let's go up to the field and check since you were up there" (the field=a community park mostly grass, with a volleyball court, located at the top of my street) and he's all secretive like "what should we tell Mikey? Don't tell him im drinking.." etc. He whispers terribly when he drinks so i screamed out "I know you're drunk, i wasn't born yesterday, dad. You look and talk as if you took 5 xanax". He and my mom come downstairs into the kitchen and he is in his underwear only since he was getting for bed.

So my mom said "Come one mike (Sr.) get dressed so we can ride up to the field"
he says "im dressed" and my mom goes "mike no you are not! go put on clothes" at which point he said
"im not fucking changing im wearing what I have on"
then I raised my voice and told him to stop talking to my mother like that. he was so drunk that he couldn't even remember what he had said a few seconds ago. Then I go on to lecture him about drinking, he storms upstairs and slams the bedroom door shut.
I then asked my mom how many other times has this happened since Ive been at university late at night? She told me 2. So the next day I told him I was disappointed and he needs to get his sh*t together before he looses everything. I tell him he needs to visit a psychiatrist for an evaluation and that he needs to quit his weekend job, or at least scale back to working only on Saturdays.
Once he was sober he begged me to be patient with him and that he will get better. I said "I have all the patience in the world to deal with your bullsh*t, it's Mom you have to worry about because I don't know how much more she can take of this"
And that was of 2 days ago. He seems alright now and told me today that he doesn't feel cravings at all, but he is a master at hiding his problems and acting like everything is OK. I don't really doubt that he has a hint of bi-polar, but not severe enough for him to be on Abilify, Seroquel 400mg, Lithium, depatoke, latuda or any of the other 'zombifying' anti-psychotics. He does have a fast paced job and can't be drugged out constantly. But the idea of a mood stabilizer sounds like a great way to go. I know many people on Lamictal (to be honest I am not familiar with any other mood stabilizers) who have success with is. But I also believe he should take a mood stabilizer along side a medication to help alcoholism, such at vivitrol or acamprosate. There is even research suggesting that Zofran (anti nausea med used in cancer patients mostly) decreases alcoholic tendencies. However, I am no doctor. I cannot prescribe any medication; what I think he should be prescribed or treated with is just my opinion. A doctor could disagree or agree with me, but in the end it all depends on what a psychiatrist deems necessary to take (if he ever follows through and makes an appointment with one.

SIDE NOTE --> any tips on how to convince someone to see or make an intake appointment with a psychiatrist? My dad is resistant but I know he needs it :?

I found out they have AA meetings at my university every Thursday from 730-10. This is perfect because I have class from 630-720 so i can just bring him with me and he can wait until class lets out. I think this could really be a great opportunity to make sure he attends AA. Also, on Sunday my Aunt Sharon asked my dad if she could ride with him to AA classes once a week, which is awesome because now he has an obligation to his sister to go!!

Things are looking up, but also looking down. But one thing is for sure, I am going to keep my head up through all of this. They say what doesn't kill only makes you stronger!!
 
I will write more tomorrow - have to get to bed. Thx for the update - I've been wondering how you guys hve been doing. I think Vivitrol is a much better choice than acamprosate, at least in my experience. Acamprosate sounds great in theory, but I think it really requires someone to quit drinking before it becomes effective. I took it for a few months and couldn't stop drinking and didn't notice that it curbed my desire or helped me drink less :/

Hope you hve a good night - will write more tomorrow.
 
nuttynutskin said:
Sounds like the combination of drugs was exacerbating preexisting mental problems to me. Ive heard bad enough things about combining SSRI's with weed alone to say nothing of throwing alcohol into the mix. That, and what someone else already sort of touched on... If he is bipolar being on an SSRI without a mood stabilizer could shoot him into mania.
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Couldn't agree more! He was definitely manic, i witnessed him become so talkative that he became annoying. He started being risky and changing for the worst. He told me he was feeling amazing!!! But my dad doesn't know that SSRIs can cause mania, or that mania is temporary and always ends with depression, or most of the effects of psych meds. This is why I so strongly encourage him to meet with a psychiatrist!!

Touching on your second point...I thought benzos mixed with alcohol was a mess..... oh boy Paxil (& other SSRIs mostly, only have had experience with lexapro and paxil)plus alcohol makes you blackout but you can still function, you are just not functioning as 'yourself', persay, its almost like your unconscious is driving you to act and has no idea what consequences are. With benzos, the worst was usually passing out with ice cream on myself or being too chill. With paxil, i turn into a different person! My friends tell me long detailed elaborate stories of what i did the night prior, and I legit have no recollection whatsoever. No memory, like it never happened. Crazy part is, i woke up every time with no hangover. NO HANGOVERS EVER. And this was surprising considering I would be drinking long island iced tea's and shots of tequilla... Anyone else noticed this decrease in hangovers with SSRIs? Maybe this is part of the reason why drinking increases on SSRIs (since alcohol no longer makes you feel like crap the morning after)
 
I don't have any experience drinking on SSRI's and honestly never heard of those making people wanting to drink more. I could see it if they made you become manic I guess, but that's really the extent of my knowledge as far as that. The only real advice I have is an intervention may be in order if he's refusing to take the steps he needs to get better, (i.e. not following up with a psychiatrist for intake, continuing to act erratically). He may need an ultimatum, although that could be difficult since it sounds like he's the breadwinner of the family. I think video taping him is a great idea tho. Maybe you and your mom could sit down with him when he isn't drunk and show him some of the videos and make it clear that what he's doing isn't acceptable if he continues to not get help. That's all I can really think of.
 
InsomniacMike said:
Couldn't agree more! He was definitely manic, i witnessed him become so talkative that he became annoying. He started being risky and changing for the worst. He told me he was feeling amazing!!! But my dad doesn't know that SSRIs can cause mania, or that mania is temporary and always ends with depression, or most of the effects of psych meds. This is why I so strongly encourage him to meet with a psychiatrist!!

Touching on your second point...I thought benzos mixed with alcohol was a mess..... oh boy Paxil (& other SSRIs mostly, only have had experience with lexapro and paxil)plus alcohol makes you blackout but you can still function, you are just not functioning as 'yourself', persay, its almost like your unconscious is driving you to act and has no idea what consequences are. With benzos, the worst was usually passing out with ice cream on myself or being too chill. With paxil, i turn into a different person! My friends tell me long detailed elaborate stories of what i did the night prior, and I legit have no recollection whatsoever. No memory, like it never happened. Crazy part is, i woke up every time with no hangover. NO HANGOVERS EVER. And this was surprising considering I would be drinking long island iced tea's and shots of tequilla... Anyone else noticed this decrease in hangovers with SSRIs? Maybe this is part of the reason why drinking increases on SSRIs (since alcohol no longer makes you feel like crap the morning after)
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SSRIs didn't prevent or decrease a hangover in my experience. They did dramatically increase my cravings for booze.

Were you able to get you Dad to a meeting? Also, is he open to the Vivitrol shot?

Wanted to add be careful drinking on benzos, that combination can do a lot more than make you pass out with ice cream. You can actually quickly get into a functional blackout with it and do some pretty horrific things. That combo can also kill you pretty quickly depending on the amounts. I've had plenty of ER visits because of mixing the two.
 
Moreaux said:
SSRIs didn't prevent or decrease a hangover in my experience. They did dramatically increase my cravings for booze.

Were you able to get you Dad to a meeting? Also, is he open to the Vivitrol shot?

Wanted to add be careful drinking on benzos, that combination can do a lot more than make you pass out with ice cream. You can actually quickly get into a functional blackout with it and do some pretty horrific things. That combo can also kill you pretty quickly depending on the amounts. I've had plenty of ER visits because of mixing the two.
Click to expand...


I think he may have attened 2 or 3 of his court ordered AA classes. I have talked about the Vivitrol shot, but he doesn't want to have to rely on medication that you take everyday; he doesn't want to become dependent or addicted. This is kind of mind-blowing because alcohol can become very addicting and create dependence; I don't think he views alcohol in that way. It's like he says he doesn't want to be on medicine and makes up all kinds of excuses against it, but does not fret or complaining over boozing it up and needs to realize that alcohol is just another medicine (or should i say drug).. his famous line "i don't want to rely on a medicine and just replace one drug with another" but if that medicine treats the alcoholism and stops him from drinking i seriously DO NOT GET why in any world he would be opposed to that and just getting the damn shot. AND IT'S ONLY ONCE MONTHLY INJECTION :sus: I'm about to just make a psychiatrist appointment for him, then go to his intake session and tell the Dr he needs Vivitrol lol

If his drinking keeps up much longer than 2 months I will get this shot from my Doctor and inject my Dad with it once a month =D
If he is out of whack or ascends into mania again or turns aggressive, suicidal, or homicidal before then I am submitting the involuntary hospitalization document to a judge; I hope I don't have to do that because I would feel terrible about it but I know it would precipitate treatment and at slow the progressive addiction that occurs in untreated addicts.

Lastly: benzos. I agree, I have had few bad experiences when mixed with alcohol in which I experienced memory loss so bad that I would forget that I took any xanax, so i would take one. Then 20 minutes later I was like it wold be cool to take xanax right now. That night i ended up consuming upwards of 10mg-14mg. I was stoned for a good 36 hours. 70mg of vyvanse didn't even have the slightest effect, literally none at all. I guess benzos are just that strong that they trump amps, at least in this case with high doses of xanax. I started realizing how the combo put me in a lot of embarrassing situations, caused friends to not want to drink with me because they felt like they had to take care of me, and caused numerous injuries on my knees from falling on concrete, stairs, off a bus. Im proud to say, though, I rarely combine the two anymore because i saw the consequences. Now i just take as needed for panic, presentations, stressful days, and maybe 2-3 times a month for sleep (I do this when i don't have 7-8 hours of sleep time since Restoril and Edluar (sublingual zolpidem/ambien) act longer, hence, will still be active when you wake up in the morning even. Many patients really don't notice or feel it, but if you wake up 3-4 hours after taking a longer acting sleep med to start your morning there is high risk of memory impairment/loss :?, motor impairments 8( and other cognitive side effects 8o until the medication is fully metabolized

***This is veryimportant for people to know as studies have confirmed risk of car accidents are higher in people who take sleep meds!! So be careful about how and when you take your sleep meds, and that you have enough time to sleep (if not, try taking half or even 1/4 of the regular dose or have calming tea or chamomile*** ;)
 
A lot of people don't view alcohol as a drug because it's so widely accepted in society... The Vivitrol shot could be a good option although there is a small percentage of people that have had a bad reaction from it. Other than that, it sounds like you're doing what's necessary.
 
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