Cutting out daily substance abuse and terrified of the inevitable anxiety

[Beat Narrative]

I have been using poppy seed tea and codeine cwe before work every day for about the last 6 months. I work in a very conservative government job and the poppyseed tea really helps me function and kills off the anxiety i had felt before consuming it regulary. Prior to that i had been smoking pot and drinking at lunch time, certainly didn't help

My partner has given me an ultimatum that if i don't stop she is leaving, so obviously i am going to try to stop. I am on my 4th day without it but have taken that time off work

I am really terrified about the anxiety i am likely to feel next week and don't feel strong enough to feel confident that i will abstain.

I know poppy seed tea is a mild opiate and that my problems will seem minor to many on here but it's benefits for me have been incredible and i am fearful i am going to lose my relationship, either through my inability to stop or the depressed, anxious, moody, wreck i envision i will become

Obviously a lifestyle change is in order, career change and addressing the anxiety issues, they take time, its the immediate i am frightened about

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Have you considered getting a short-term benzodiazepine prescription from your doctor so as to be able to deal with anxiety for the next week or so, just so as to help you transition back to life without drugs?

You can ask for just a few day's worth if you think a month's worth would be too much for you, i.e. if you have the propensity to find them addictive.

Have you also considered addressing your anxiety through other ways? There are many different ways to go about it.

Best of luck getting back to a drug free life.

 

[crystalserenity]

I personally have learned sooo much about quitting opiates on this board. TDS is great + so is healthy living. I have also gotten a lot from the Progress thread + suboxone thread in OD. Just explore all the many alternatives here + best of luck.

 

[Tuneman]

This might sound stupid but it can be very nice to have regular tea throughout the day- tea is a calming drink and sometimes just having something warm and bitter to sip can be very soothing. Exercise helps a lot too- I would respectfully disagree with the benzo idea- you are going from one drug to another and eventually you are going to have to live without benzo's too if you actually want to change things.

 

[unsettled]

I don't know how strong your poppy tea is, but I used to drink poppy pod tea that got me HIGH as F@#$, so don't assume it'll be an easy thing to stop.

Actually, do assume it'll be easy and it hopefully will be, mindset has a lot to do with getting through it. I'd taper down if I were you, it's not that bad if you taper right.

For me my first drug was weed, I loved it and smoked it constantly for years, it was easy to quit but it left a huge hole in my life and my anxiety sky rocketed. This led me to the Doctor who kindly prescribed me Xanax, possibly the worst thing that ever happened to me. Seriously, if you need it use it for a few weeks at most or very occasionally.

I used to think weed was substance abuse, but Xanax introduced me to the real world of substance abuse and addiction. The best possible thing you can do in my opinion is find a way to get over the anxiety without relying on a pill. I've yet to be able to do this, I'm still dependent on benzos years later.

You may want to try a psych or therapist, I'm not anti medication for anxiety, I'm just anti needless suffering due to benzo dependence. I know the fear of which you speak though and I'm working on finding non chemical ways to reduce anxiety but I'm not there yet.

Also, it's very hard in my experience to quit anything unless YOU really want to, so just keep that in mind. I'd still be using poppies if they didn't get so damn expensive, it's not the worst opiate habit to have if you can moderate it. Long half life, but it does get to be a drag when it comes to traveling and what not.

Good Luck, Use meds for the anxiety if you need them in the beginning but if you really want to stop using, get to the root of your anxiety and find a healthy way to deal with it.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I don't know how strong your poppy tea is, but I used to drink poppy pod tea that got me HIGH as F@#$, so don't assume it'll be an easy thing to stop.

Actually, do assume it'll be easy and it hopefully will be, mindset has a lot to do with getting through it. I'd taper down if I were you, it's not that bad if you taper right.

For me my first drug was weed, I loved it and smoked it constantly for years, it was easy to quit but it left a huge hole in my life and my anxiety sky rocketed. This led me to the Doctor who kindly prescribed me Xanax, possibly the worst thing that ever happened to me. Seriously, if you need it use it for a few weeks at most or very occasionally.

I used to think weed was substance abuse, but Xanax introduced me to the real world of substance abuse and addiction. The best possible thing you can do in my opinion is find a way to get over the anxiety without relying on a pill. I've yet to be able to do this, I'm still dependent on benzos years later.

You may want to try a psych or therapist, I'm not anti medication for anxiety, I'm just anti needless suffering due to benzo dependence. I know the fear of which you speak though and I'm working on finding non chemical ways to reduce anxiety but I'm not there yet.

Also, it's very hard in my experience to quit anything unless YOU really want to, so just keep that in mind. I'd still be using poppies if they didn't get so damn expensive, it's not the worst opiate habit to have if you can moderate it. Long half life, but it does get to be a drag when it comes to traveling and what not.

Good Luck, Use meds for the anxiety if you need them in the beginning but if you really want to stop using, get to the root of your anxiety and find a healthy way to deal with it.

I am glad you thoroughly pointed out why a benzodiazepine, if used daily, should only be used in the short-term. I tried to make this an important part of my advice, since it is obviously an addictive class of drugs on their own.

You are 100% correct in saying that one has to really want to quit to get there, and I am glad that you shared that as well. A family member or loved one can't quit or want to quit for you, it will have to come from within.

 

[Beat Narrative]

Thank you all for your replies. I agree that benzos are not a realistic soloution but a friend gave me some xanax and today it has been of a great assistance.

It appears my relationship of 8 years has come to an end, it's not my behaviour whilst on drugs that bothers her but just the fact that i have a substance dependence.

The duration of our relationship i have abused substances of all kinds but maintained a level of control ( i guess thats a matter of defintion). I have had a life surrounded by severe substance abuse and always been adament that i would not jeopardise my relationships in the same way, well it appears i have, i have failed in the one aim i had in life.

If i went to my partner now and said i gurantee that i will never fall into a patterm of substance abuse again i think i could salvage my relationship, the problem is i can't make that promise as it would be purely a band aid soloution to appease her but i have major doubts of my inability to relapse

I am in a job i hate, i plan to quit at the end of the year go to uni ( I am almost 30) and make a real go of things, its just the period of now and then that frighten me.

Poppy seed tea has been a saviour for me, it used to be alcohol but it has so many negative elements it far outweighs the positive. With Poppy seeds i am content, functional and happy. I can purchase them without getting into a scene i desire to avoid and i breeze through life with less anxiety thatn i have ever experienced.

Well i apoligise for the lack of grammer, the quite pointless nature of this rant but for me its been cathartic, my gf literally told me it's over and my life feels as though its in a more chatic situation than its been in years

 

[AfterGlow]

I started taking benzos for anxiety many years ago. The anxiety I felt from trying to get off benzos made my original anxiety feel like a walk in the park. Maybe that's what was necessary to make me learn how to cope with normal life anxiety from normal life stress. But I would not recommend taking a different drug with high abuse potential to overcome the withdrawals you get from quitting another recreational drug. Good luck in your struggle.

 

[Beat Narrative]

Well here i am 7.20am about go to work sober for the first time in months, to be honest i am not feeling very composed, My partner rarely uses substances for even recreational purposes and has concluded i am a weak individual

I wish to god (or whatever higher being , sprirtual power you presecribe to if any) that i could do a simple thing like function in daily life without needing drugs to help me just not feel afraid

Most likely conclusion, i smoke a bong before i leave the house and feel good on the train ride to work and have weed induced anxiety times 10 once i walk through those doors!

This site is an amazing place just to offload, if no one reads this post i understand, probbaly seems self indulgent but just having blulight as a resource to express my fears , frustrations and anxiety is invaluable, thankyou!

 

[HighonLife]

^^ im with u on this

whenever i try to get sober the anxiety of social interaction always gets to me soo i have to do something to deal with it

typically i just get doped uo but when im cleaning up this isnt an option, i try to use benzos as little as possible tho im not gonna lie i do use them in WD (mostly for sleep tho, and i just try to "tough it out" on the axiety during WD as much as possible) soo for most of the day to day anxiety i use weed n it really is a double edged sword

when im anxious, smoking weed truly helps, when im loading the bowl i get slightly calmer n once i take a hit i am most certainly calmer n less anxious but then like 5 mins after im high there is this new somewhat diff anxiety from the weed, which is more managable n more pleasent to deal with them regular anxiety but even when i use weed for anxiety relief i still find myself somewhat anxious because of the weed and not inspite of it

but oh well, it dont stop me from smokin, mostly just makes me hate quittin dope

 

[Beat Narrative]

WEll i survived the day with out poppyseed tea, anxiety was not as bad as i feared, however i had 1mg of xanax, i assume it had something to do with it

I realise that poppyseed tea is a mild opiate but after such consistant use and especially as it was a coping mechanism as opposed to recreational has really fucked with me, thankfully my supply of xanax is limited, i don't need a benzo habit

Having had a few beers and some xanax is making me feel chemically content, i would give anything to feel this content when i awake tomorrow

anyone who has read this and replied, thankyou, it shows the internet has more benefit than pilfering free music (an issue that morally conflicts me more than nearly anything else)