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Crap. Surgery set-back after a month clean.

Gelfling

Gelfling

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 13, 2015
Messages
17
I didn't have a bad time getting through the 1st week. I was happy being clean and could see good improvements in my mood/ attitude. But then I had surgery, was prescribed vicodin (and had some oxy lying around) so been off the wagon for 2 weeks. To some degree it was necessary for pain management, but now I know I'm making excuses and it's time to cut the crap.
Anyone else have this experience?
Just felt like admitting it/ maybe getting some kind of pep talk. Feeling a little self-loathing for making weak-ass excuses.
 
My understanding is that as long as you take it as prescribed you should not feel guilty. That doesn't mean it couldn't lead you back to that cycle again, but I don't know of any addict who takes anything as prescribed while still in their addiction.

That being said, that fact you are aware, and NOT ok with it is a good sign. You sound like you are not lying to yourself. Well, at least you aren't believing the lies.

Course I'm not a doctor. Just my Internet/rehab/life experiences to go on.

Have hope my friend. You got clean before and you will do it again :)

On a side note, is your name a Dark Crystal reference? Fan-fucking-tastic movie.
 
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"If it is necessary sometimes to lie to others, it is always despicable to lie to oneself."
 
Ha! It *is* a Dark Crystal reference. I look exactly like Jen. Yes. My celebrity twin is a muppet. It's been brought to my attention for 20 years. Thanks for the kind words. Here goes....again. ;)
 
Yes I had a very similar experience. I destroyed my shoulder and suffered ~50 dislocations over the course of a couple of years, having had an on-off problem with opiates (and benzos and ketamine and crack) for years. I was scripted dhc towards the end before surgery and just abused it taking it all in one go and then not having it when I was in pain. I had a relatively major surgery about six months back and got bumped up to morphine afterwards. Obviously this just made my abuse even worse and things started to get outof control so I cut my losses about a month afterwards and got clean again.
 
I have no had this experience but my girlfriend and i talk about it should it happen. I think any set back has a grading scale. So i would consider a "set back" due to a prescribed opiate to be minor, provided you get over it. I dont know your past but i would think taking pills orally is only going to be a major problem if your DOC was percocet 10mg and thats how you always took them. I think given how you feel you will come back fine. You need to "cut the crap" though as I am sure you know simply coming here and saying you are going to and actually doing it are two different things. This does hold for an interesting convo about what others would do in this situation.

I dont think i would tell my doctor i was a former addict but i dont tihnk i will fill the prescription or take any opiates. I know that prescribed ones are easier to manage that is to say if i get 10 5mg hydrocodones it is not likely that i will start IVing heroin again, especially if its down the road years after i am off methadone. The issue for me is opiates almost ruined my life and almost (but didnt) killed my girlfriend, they are the reason my younger brother is in prison and they are the cause of pain (ironic) I do not think i can be responsible for bringing that into my house be it prescribed by a doctor or purchased on the street.

This is just my opinion and my girl said she probably would take them and fill the prescription and take them as written but i have a different view. Her view does not conflict with mine and should this happen it doesnt mean i will go nuts or we will relapse based on a minor prescription for a "lesser opiate" its just i am not going to even have that be a possibility that because of me "i cant get that feeling i missed off my mind"

I dont think a legit pain prescription means anything other then relief from pain if taken correctly. My mother has gotten plenty of opiates from her doctors over the years for things but never took them so its possible to be that way even for a former addict. You must know and trust yourself before deciding.
 
It's kinda true, what you said about DOC. I know I'm over-enjoying that I have them, but I am able to save enough of them for when I return to work and am on my feet for 8 hours/ day.
But I also know that 5 years ago, they'd be collecting dust by now.
On a grading scale, I'd give myself a C. Minus. Is there a curve? lol.
 
Surgery sucks

I'm a skier, skydiver, and base jumper. Seems like I'm always getting hurt after getting clean. It sucks ass but when you're laid up and jelouse that everyone out there is having fun what else can u do?
 
I often wonder about this dilemma. Luckily for me, my substance issues are stamped all across my medical record. I half chopped my thumb off earlier in the year, and they sewed me back up with no local anaesthetic or anything. I'm not really sure why they didn't bother, because it bloody hurt (as you'd expect, those needles aren't small). My theory is they looked at my record and simply said "no drugs for THAT man.."

Good luck with your mission getting off once more - keep up that positive mental attitude!
 
I just got out of (muscle tear, 3rd one since last year) surgery from yesterday was thinking of this. I am dealing with excrutiating pain as thisis day 2 so i must but here I am back on the oxys... I hope the healing process goes fast.....
 
Muzda Jonxx said:
I often wonder about this dilemma. Luckily for me, my substance issues are stamped all across my medical record. I half chopped my thumb off earlier in the year, and they sewed me back up with no local anaesthetic or anything. I'm not really sure why they didn't bother, because it bloody hurt (as you'd expect, those needles aren't small). My theory is they looked at my record and simply said "no drugs for THAT man.."

Good luck with your mission getting off once more - keep up that positive mental attitude!
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In a way you're lucky. I have always been honest with my docs about my addictions, he'll, they got me referrals to inpatient treatment on more than one occasion and still offer opiates, Adderall (never tried), muscle relaxers, and Benzos, gabapenton, etc. I had surgery (my first) a few months ago and the prospect of pain meds was too much - I totally mentally relapsed. To celebrate, after the first two days after surgery I dropped narcotic painkillers for tramadol, which was very unpleasant imo. I switched to kratom shortly after that (tramadol made me instantly depressed, never experienced anything like it). At anyrate, I always have to investigate meds my doctor recommends to ensure its not addictive.

As addicts we know when we're taking meds legitimately and when we're using them recreationally. The onus is always on us. I knew I could get decent pain meds for my surgery, and knowing that was an option was enough to throw me over the edge and make sure I got the most benign that would take the edge.
 
Yeah, I think you're right, it is a good thing. gritting my teeth getting a few stitches isn't really a problem. A couple of years ago I had my kitchen catch fire and in the process of making sure the house didn't burn down i got third degree burns on both my hands. Totally burned the skin off down to whatever lies underneath, it was pretty disgusting. Anyway, I was in hospital a few days for that and they gave me morphine as needed. So these doctors mostly do have a great deal of sense.
 
toothpastedog said:
I think this could be said of everyone.
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I know how you feel. I recently had a dental procedure that got me Vicodin, 60mg total. I practically ran home from the procedure did a CWE and drank it down. What's messed up is I was counting down the days until the surgery and pushed up the date as best as I could. Up to that point I was coming up on quite a bit of sober time. Obviously I have a lot of work to do.

My point is that this is part of recovery - slips, relapses. All that matters is how you respond to the relapse, not that the relapse happened.
 
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